When One Door Closes, Another Opens... An Exercise to Manifest Your Authentic Life

The following exercise is a result of a collaborative effort between Joe and myself. Considering that you are all familiar with me, I thought I'd introduce you to Joe. Joe is a member of our community. He is actively involved both here at, "The Big Fat Lie" and at, "Through Thick and Thin". Through an awakening, Joe has been called to be of service and to bring his healing contribution forward in the world. He has started a wonderful blog to chronicle his experiences...

http://centerofthespirit.blogspot.com/

A few days ago, Joe posted an intriguing exercise on the, "Through Thick and Thin" community forum. I will share Joe's post with you now...

"I have come up with something that has really helped me not just with eating but with many areas of life. See, the subconscious mind really likes stories and metaphor. It will really start to feel like what you are telling it is the truth. So much so, that as you continue to tell yourself the same story over and over again it literally becomes fused into your mind. There is also a metaphysical and scientific idea that whatever you think about and focus on becomes your life. Basically, that we are creating our own reality. So, what's the point of telling you all of this?

Well, I have an idea for you to try to help keep your mind focused on what you want to create. Simply write a story about you. Write it in the 3rd person. Write it as though you are telling some one else your story. The key is to not focus on the dramas of the past. You have to let go of all of the crap you have been living with thus far when you are writing this story. It should be about exactly who you want to be and how you see your life.

It doesn't have to be overly long. It can be a couple of pages. Just be as descriptive and simple as possible. Describe how you see yourself in all aspects, (mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually). Talk about what kind of job you are doing. How you are dealing with others and how they are dealing with you. Describe what type of financial or love life etc. that you want. Have fun with it and write it from your heart and spirit. Try to keep your rational mind out of it as much as possible.

Then the task is to read the story every morning. When you wake up read the story to yourself as a ritual. Every time you feel depressed, feel like binging etc, read the story. You can also edit it as circumstances change or as you wish to add more detail to it. I think that you will be surprised at how things start changing around you. At first it will be subtle but as time goes on you may find that your life is more like the story than you thought possible.

Trust me it really works!"

I loved this exercise Joe presented and was eager to implement this practice in my life. I have done plenty of affirmation and intention work for many years. I have seen some benefit from this practice, but always felt a little blocked. It's something I haven't really been able to put my finger on. I thought perhaps writing out the story of the life I wish to create as if it already were, may have a more convincing effect on my subconscious. This sparked an interesting conversation between me and a dear friend. We talked about Joe's exercise and then elaborated on the original concept. What we arrived at is a way to heal the past, while holding the vision for the future. I will now share what I posted in response to Joe on the forum...

"Hi Joe,

I wanted to add something to this discussion. I was talking to a good friend of mine this morning and sharing your exercise with her. It sparked an interesting dialogue between the two of us and we thought of a way to take this exercise a step further that I wanted to share with you and the community.

I think feeding the vision of the life we want to live is essential when it comes to healing and most certainly for those in recovery from ED. In fact, in eating disorder therapy, this is something that is really emphasized... the need to create a vision for the life you want to live. Eating disorder therapy also involves the necessary healing work of clearing the past, and finding a path to forgiveness of self and others.

As my friend and I were discussing your exercise this morning and talking about what an empowering practice we thought it would be, she said, "Now, what if you combine this exercise with a practice of rewriting stories from your past? With the past energy cleared, the new story will more readily take root." That made a lot of sense to me.

She's in human services and shared something she learned in her training where you draw up a timeline of your life, dividing it into 10 year increments beginning from birth, to the age you are presently. For each decade, you mark on the timeline significant life events, both positive and negative/traumatic in nature. Once your timeline is completed, you are able to spot certain patterns... the ways that our history/herstory intertwines with our present. Many patterns are repeated through a lifetime and can relate to past negative experiences and traumas that were not fully grieved, mourned, shed, and released.

She then suggested going through your timeline and picking several very significant events... things that really changed you as a person, or molded your life view. The focus would be on events that are negative/traumatic in nature. She then said, "What if you rewrote those story lines and took a difficult situation but revised it in such a way that would allow you to find peace with the experience so you can release it and let it go?"

I'll give you an example that we discussed. Let's say that you had a falling out with a parent and this created a rift between the two of you that remains unhealed to this day. Surely, there are things that both of you could have handled differently. However, when we feel wounded, often all we can see is our pain... our point of view. Let's say the rift was caused by an argument where the two of you both saw things very differently and you haven't spoken since. In fact, it has been years since the two of you have had a conversation. This has greatly impacted you and created a limiting energy that prevents you from moving forward in certain areas of your life.

I think this happens a lot. I believe that intention is powerful. I believe that it is important to hold a clear vision of the life you want to create. I also believe it is important to clear the clutter of the past so there is room for that new vision to become a reality. Otherwise, our perceptions, beliefs, and deeply ingrained expectations can cloud the waters and make for murky manifestation. It is important to be present and sometimes, being present involves addressing the past in the now so you can be free and clear to move forward unobstructed.

What if you rewrote the story of this argument with your parent that created the rift and really came from the heart and your soul as you described? Describe the situation from a higher vantage point. In this retelling, say the things you wished you had said and hear the things from your parent you wished you had heard. What if in the retelling you wrote a story where you both could come to understand the situation through the other's eyes and came to a place of peace and acceptance with each other? If you read this story to yourself daily, how would that shift your life experience? Would it have a healing effect on this situation that has troubled you for so long, even if it was a sense of peace awakening within your own heart?

Now, after doing this healing work, how much more potent would your exercise to call in your highest life vision be? I have a feeling it would be immensely powerful!

My friend and I were talking about how you could take this one past situation at a time, working with the issues that have greatly impacted you, while simultaneously working with the exercise you created Joe. How cool is that?! We thought it was pretty cool and felt it could have a very life-enhancing effect. I think I am going to combine this rewriting of a past story with your approach and see what happens. I already have a few issues in mind that I would like to do some release work around.

I just wanted to share this with you. It would be quite a potent community challenge to combine these two processes together. As you said Joe, our minds respond to story and metaphor. Why would this not have the same effect in rewriting the stories of the past? I would love to hear your thoughts on this. It sparked a really interesting conversation between me and my friend... took us to some wild places. My curiosity is peaked, so I definitely want to explore this."

From the marrying of these two concepts has come a comprehensive healing practice to find peace and closure with the past so space can be freed to allow the new vision of the life you want to live to enter. Sometimes people avoid healing the past and taking steps toward forgiveness. They would rather wipe their hands clean of yesterday and be done with it. I can certainly understand the desire to never look back and keep on, keepin' on. I have spent a lifetime doing just that, figuring that nothing can erase what has been done, so why bother addressing those issues? However, I have come to be aware of what a defense mechanism this has been for me.

We always hear the concept of the present being our point of power. I agree that this holds true. We are either here now, or we are nowhere. However, making peace with the past can be a necessary step in fostering presence. Doing healing work on past situations does not imply that you are stuck, living in yesteryear. Many misunderstand what true presence is really about. It is not about living in denial and putting on blinders. Sometimes, to be present you have to own your past and take steps to heal former issues in the now.

I'm actually excited to work with both aspects of this exercise. In my personal experience with affirmation work I have found marginal success in focusing on the future with positive intention. However, I stress marginal because there always seems to come a point in the process where I hit a brick wall. I believe this wall is built brick by brick with deep-held beliefs, conditioning, and expectations about what we are able to receive out of life based on past experiences. I agree that when it comes to the past, what's done is done. However, you can't just drop the past like a bad habit and think that it has no effect on who you are today. Those past experiences color your present life and indeed, your future. For example, let's say you wanted to create an abundant life, particularly in the area of your career and finances. If you grew up in poverty, how effectively do you think you would be able to call in this abundance? Surely, growing up poor has given you some powerful life experiences that have formulated your view of abundance and your ability to receive. These conditioned beliefs about abundance will act as a limiting factor that does not allow intention work to be completely effective. In order to manifest the life you envision for your future, you have to clear and resolve the energy of the past. The past after all, is foundational in who you are as a person.

The person you are today springs from the past and the experiences you have been through. This includes both positive and limiting aspects of yourself. A great book to read on this topic is, "You Can Heal Your Life", By, Louise L. Hay....

You Can Heal Your Life

Louise was diagnosed with cancer. She was told that she didn't have much time to live and that she would be required to go through extensive chemotherapy if she hoped to have any chance at survival. Something awoke in Louise when she received this dismal diagnoses. She got a solid intuitive hit that the reason she developed cancer was because she was holding onto resentment related to her past. It is interesting to note that many cancer patients have made this connection... that something is eating away at them emotionally and needs to be addressed before the cancer can be healed. This may sound like a rather airy-fairy concept to some, but there has been extensive research into the area of the mind-body connection. What has been established is that there appears to be a link between what the mind believes and how the body responds physically. You can find quite a few powerful stories out there about this.

Louise L. Hay began to work with affirmation, positive intention, and visualization. She went without traditional medical treatment because she firmly believed if she could release the resentment that she was carrying from the past, come to a place of forgiveness, and hold positive intentions of her future self, healed and whole, she would be able to release her condition of cancer. That is exactly what she did. She was considered a medical miracle. However, she remains adamant that her recovery was the direct result of releasing the power the past had over her by making peace with it, while simultaneously holding a firm vision of the life she wanted to live.

I have unresolved issues from my past. It's true that I can't go back and change what happened, but I can reclaim my power by giving myself a voice. I think it's important that our voice is heard. We all need that validation. We all deserve to say our peace.

Sometimes, we encounter experiences that we feel unable to address. We lack the emotional readiness to delve into certain areas, especially when pain is involved in order to work through the difficulty and find resolution. I personally have encountered situations that were too painful for me to deal with at the time. In reactiveness, I shut down, disconnected, and turned to eating disorder in order to survive and keep going. Above all, in times of crisis we will move toward self-preservation, even if those means of coping are not balanced or truly supportive. Those unresolved issues are like open wounds. I carry them with me to do this day. Those past issues affect me in the now. When past memories surface of times I have been tested to my core I can feel the intensity of the emotion as if it just happened. All the years that have passed do not create distance in terms of my feelings. Emotionally, I'm transported to that still frame in time. Nothing has been released or resolved. Those past experiences continue to play a role in my life to this day.

My past will always be a part of me. It cannot be erased or blotted from my soul. However, I do not need to fall into victimization by playing the blame game and clinging to anger, bitterness, and resentment. I know everything that happened in my past is exactly as it was meant to be. Yes... even the painful moments. My past is the culmination of the woman I am today. However, I believe I will not fully step into my power and reclaim my life until I find a path to peace with yesterday's experiences. I may not have been able to deal with those traumas then, but I am strong enough to face them now. This, in its purest essence, is presence. Presence is when you have the willingness to show up, feel, and consciously engage in your life experience... all of it... past, present, and future.

The forgiveness and release work I am currently doing around my past is a gift I give to myself. It sets me free. It allows me to shed the shackles of the past, redefining my beliefs and expectations about receiving. I believe that as I continue to clear the past, much like Louise L. Hay, I will be able to call in my future because I have created the emotional space to let it in. The way will no longer be blocked and barred by the self-imposed limitations of the beliefs I developed through my past experiences.

For this reason, I am eager to write both the stories of my past and future. Personally, I feel that releasing the past, and coming to a space within of peace and forgiveness will be absolutely key if I hope to create a life that fulfills me. I also know it will be essential in my recovery from eating disorder.

I believe rewriting the story of the past in tandem with creating our story for the future may be the missing link. I have never used these concepts in tandem so I have no idea what the end result will be. I am curious to explore this exercise though and see what comes up.

This month, I encourage you to do the same. As Joe suggested, write up the story of your future life. Set your intention for where you want to go. It is always helpful to have a destination in mind when setting out on any journey. The story of your future self can act as a road map. As Joe said, there is always room for detours too. Often when we begin shifting and evolving, our desires change. Where you are looking to be in this moment may turn into an entirely different arriving point as you go through your healing process. Keep your options open and know that nothing is written in stone. You always have the power to revise your story. Use this story of the future you to reinforce your vision at times in your life when you are struggling, feel insecure, or a dealing with eating disorder issues. This will have an empowering influence and remind you that challenges are temporary. You always have the power to direct your course away from what isn't working for you, toward a future that will fulfill you.

Simultaneously, drawn up your life line and pinpoint those significant life experiences that led you to where you are currently. Notice if you see any patterns. Do certain scenarios seem to crop up consistently throughout your life? This is not a coincidence. This is the direct result of your past conditioning and likely relates to issues where you may need resolution and closure. This doesn't make you a failure or a victim. We all have our stuff and we also have the power to create healing for ourselves. When we are willing to go there, own our lives, and show up on our behalf to do the deeper work, we are present. We reclaim our power and shed the limitations of the past like an old skin.

Pick one story from your past to rewrite. Let your voice be heard. You deserve to have your say in this matter. As a daily ritual, begin first by reading the retelling of your past story. Honor whatever feelings surface through this process. Hold space for the emotions to come. Then read your future story. This is a powerful statement... an extremely affirming act. Quite literally, you are saying, "I am willing to heal the past and let it go so I can welcome in the new and all the good seeking to find me."

I will share my experience with this exercise and the effect it has on my life. I also look forward to connecting with others who take up this challenge. I would love to hear about your experiences working with this exercise. Feel free to share with the community the way this practice creates openings in your life and heart.

Project Me - My Home... A template for my intentions

Looking around my home, one thing has become abundantly clear. I'm overwhelmed. Obviously, I cannot dive into this decluttering process without having a plan. Oh... did I mention that having a plan, some type of schedule, and a little accountability is something that has been hitting me over the head like a ton of bricks lately? Cue roll of the eyes. Rather than approach this in willy-nilly fashion, I felt I should consider what new energy I'm looking to call into my life. I want to lay out the welcome mat by having my home serve as a template that invites in new beginnings, opportunities, and fresh experiences.

I have considered the purpose of each room in my home and how it can better serve me in manifesting my desires for newness. Some of the questions I asked myself  to determine the intention of each room were...

What need in my life will this room fulfill?

How can this space support me in bettering my self-care?

What activities do I want to enjoy in this room?

What kind of vibe am I looking to create in this space?

How do I want to feel when I spend time here?

What life statement am I making with this room?

How can this space better support me in pursuing my dreams and in manifesting the new vision I am creating for my life?

I know... sounds a little deep for some house tidying, but this is no surface cleaning. I'm getting down to the nitty-gritty with this project. Here's what I've conjured up...

Living Room:

This is a multi-functional room. It's where I put my feet up, relax, and unwind at the end of a long day. It's also where I have my home office. When you live in an apartment, you don't often have the luxury of creating a separate office space. You have to maximize the room you have available.

In one word, I want my living room to be 'cozy'. I like the idea of throws and lush pillows to nestle in. I also envision lots of candles. I love the softness of candlelight. The warm glow of a flame has a way of soothing my frazzled nerves. This is the first room you enter upon walking through my front door, so the vibe is very important. I want the space to be welcoming and inviting. It needs to be comfy. This space is all about  chillin', maxin' and relaxin'. I see myself reading, lounging, napping, socializing, and creatively playing in this room.

Since the living room is the entryway into my home, I would like to establish an altar near the doorway to serve as a place of spiritual reflection. I think it would be wonderful to have this altar as a communal space to focus intentions, helping household members call abundance and blessings into their lives. It will also serve as a reminder of the people and things that are truly meaningful to us, fostering gratitude for the many ways we have already been blessed. This creates an expansive consciousness which frees up more room for the good in life to enter. It will set the tone for the entire home.

I plan on keeping the center of the living room open and clear. I would like a place to be able to roll out my mat and do some yoga, or turn on some tunes and dance. I also enjoy crafting. I've been wanting to explore jewelery-making for awhile. I even have an idea for a line of necklaces, but I've never created a space to explore this interest. If I store my craft supplies in the living room, this desire will stay in the forefront of my mind. I have a fold-out table that I currently keep in the garage that could be set up as a crafting/art station. I would love to be able to create a permanent space for this in the living room rather than dragging out the table and going through a set-up process every time I get the urge to be creative. I can see how very easily that could set me up for procrastination. The challenge is that I have limited space to work with. I don't want to overwhelm the space with too much stuff. I want maintain an openness about the room. However, there may be a way to re-work the space by moving around furniture, or donating pieces that no longer serve the intention of the room, to make a permanent crafting/art space a reality. I get excited when I think of this so I believe I should try my darnedest to make that happen. 

As far as my corner office is concerned, (I mean that quite literally... my office space is in the corner of the living room) I need more organization and efficiency. I have organizational tools such as filing systems, dry erase boards, and such that are not being put to good use. I would like to change that to help my work flow a little smoother. At this time, if I need a number I have to search frantically through a drawer crammed full of miscellaneous papers. It's a real headache! I can feel my stress levels go up just thinking about it. Since I don't take advantage of my organizational tools, I have to keep track of all my business appointments, deadlines, and important calls in this little ol' noggin of mine. As you can imagine, my mental space is pretty cluttered. Every inch of my brain is occupied by a running to-do list. No wonder I have trouble getting to sleep at night! I'm also working toward a major career goal at this time. I would like my office space to include motivational symbols that will continue to inspire me to reach for the sky.

One thing is for certain. I no longer want to eat in the living room. I've gotten in the habit of plopping down in front of the TV to nosh mindlessly. I'm using this behavior to cope with stress. This certainly is not doing my health any favors. It's also robbing me of experiencing the true pleasure of my meals. Half the time, I barely taste what I am eating. This is the one activity I want to eliminate from this space. I have given up eating in front of the tube before and it made a world of difference. I then started to question if it was necessary to avoid eating in front of the TV when others began to share their personal opinions on the topic. It seems that many feel they can be mindful while eating in front of the television or surfing the web. I decided to experiment with this and see if it would be possible for me to eat in these situations while continuing to be aware. The result has been dismal. This simply doesn't work for me. Plus, it is interesting to note that scientific studies have established that people who dine in front of the television absorb considerably less nutrients from their meals than those who eat without distraction. There's a little food for thought to chew on. I found this rather fascinating myself. The living room is going to become a no-food zone.

Dining Room:

This is simple. I only want one thing in this room and that is the dining table. When in this space, I want to be reminded of the importance of deeply nourishing myself. I wish to create a soothing ambiance that promotes mindfulness. I like the idea of having a candle on the table that I light before every meal as a signal to take time to slow down, invite consciousness in, and receive nurturing. I also want to adorn the table with fresh flowers regularly to enhance the beauty of the space. It would be great to have a table that is free and clear of all the papers, junk mail and such that are currently burying its surface so I can sit down, enjoy my meals, and have a place to gather with loved ones to share the events of the day.

Kitchen:

Considering the challenge I have put before myself... to cook all my meals at home for the next 30 days... I need this space to be organized, efficient, and well-stocked with the basic staples needed for recipes. I also need to have all of my cooking tools easily accessible. The counters need to be kept clear for food prep. I want to cover a large portion of the counter space with cutting board surfaces to make chopping veggies a cinch. Then, all I have to do is wipe down the surface for quick and easy clean-up. This will encourage me to eat more produce. I also want to make full use of my storage containers. I plan to recycle old glass jars by labeling them and using them to store bulk items like rice, dry beans, and pasta. It makes sense to devote a cupboard to storage supplies. This way, I can cook up large batches of recipes and create my own whole foods grab and go meals. Tupperware containers are great for storing meals in the freezer and this will help me make a health-supporting choice on busy nights when I feel I don't have time to cook a proper meal. I can just reheat one I have already made ahead of time.

It is important to me that the foods I stock in my refrigerator and pantry reflect my intention to honor my health. It is my desire to make nutritious eating the convenient option. I realize that I have the power to do this. It is all about how I choose to set up my kitchen space. As I clean and organize this room of my home I will ask myself the following questions...

Does this space encourage me to feed my body in a health-supporting way?

Is it easy to cook in this kitchen?

Do I have a storage system in place that allows me to see the food I have available at a quick glance?

Do I have easy access to storage containers and cooking tools that will allow me to do batch cooking in order to prepare healthful, convenient meals ahead of time to fall back on when life gets busy?

Additionally, I want to have some kind of posting board in the kitchen to plan menus, create grocery lists, and also to establish a cleaning schedule so once the house is in order, it can be maintained by all members of the household.

 Garage:

This is a multi-functional room in the home. At least, that was the original intention. It has since become a cluttered storage space. Although, I will say that the neighbors got a look in our garage and were rather impressed. We were even asked if we might want to help them organize their garage. I'll take that as a sign that this space hasn't gotten too out of control... yet. What really matters is how I feel in this part of the home. Right now, I don't enjoy venturing into this space.

Part of the garage is going to be a dance studio/gym. I want to mount a large mirror on the wall so I can check my form when working out or dancing. Currently, there is too much equipment in this room gathering dust. I've started to chip away at clearing out some of the excess by selling the treadmill and exercise bike. The elliptical trainer was also recently broken down. There is still more that needs to head out the door. I have lots of exercise equipment that I have absolutely no use for. I don't need much now that I've gotten in touch with the types of movement I really enjoy. Most of the activities I feel drawn to don't require any equipment. As a result, what I currently have is just taking up space. Again, I am looking to create openness in this area of the garage so I have room to move about freely.

Another area of the garage is devoted to a workshop. This is where all the tools and woodworking supplies are stored. For the most part, it is fairly organized. Where I see the clutter is in too many 'planned' projects. The area is littered with items that need repair, or parts that are supposed to be used for some future purpose. Really, all this stuff is just taking up room. Some items have been lingering for years untouched. It's time to clear out the excess and design this area for efficiency and accessibility. Since there is so much stuff being squirreled away in this space, I don't even have access to the large filing cabinets where various tools and holiday decorations are stored. Before I can pull out something I need, I have to remove a wall of stuff that is blocking the way. It is a hassle. I want to change that.

The final area of the garage is reserved for laundry and recycling. This space is pretty well organized. I would like to move the clothes hamper out of the bedroom and into the laundry area. I have an issue with tossing clothes on the floor. It's a bad habit I've had since I was a teenager. Once the hamper becomes full in the bedroom, I often start to pile clothes on top of it, which then spill over onto the floor and end up eventually taking over the whole room. Embarrassing, but true. If I move the hamper out to the garage, I can develop a new habit of taking dirty clothes immediately out to the laundry area, keeping the bedroom nice and neat. This is my hope.

The Storage Closet:

This is the area of the home where we store cleaning supplies and linens. It works very well for that purpose. This room is also organized, for the most part. There is a little excess that needs to be cleaned out, but not much. This will be the easiest room to deal with.

The Bedroom:

Hands-down this is the most daunting room in the house. Whenever company comes over, I make sure that the bedroom door is shut... tight. I don't want anyone to see the disarrayed state this room is in . It is a hot mess! Picture your average teenager's bedroom and you will have a good idea what this space looks like. There's just a bunch of crap everywhere. Clothes are strewn about the floor. The bookcases and bedside tables are covered in a mountain of stuff. I have bags from shopping trips filled with newly purchased items that haven't been touched since I brought them home. Heck, I don't even know what's in half of those bags anymore. I'm not quite sure what I will find once I start wading through them. This is embarrassing because it's such wasteful behavior. The bed is usually unmade. I'm very unhappy with the current state of my bedroom. I dread spending time there and something strikes me as terribly wrong with that. I'm sure I will stir up some emotional shit when I clear this space. It's definitely the monster in my closet. This is the room I have chosen to begin my decluttering, cleaning, and organizing efforts. There is a reason for selecting this room as the starting point.

I always tend to focus on the rooms others will see first when I set out to clean the house. Often, excess will get cleared from the front areas of the home only to find its way back into the bedroom where it can be hid like a dirty little secret in the closet. I habitually do things to please others and thought I'd switch that up a bit. What if I decided to put my needs first? I'm trying to change my whole approach to life. I view making my bedroom first priority as a symbolic act of establishing my self-care as non-negotiable.

This is a room I will spend a large portion of my life in. It is where I am supposed to be able to let down my guard, rest, and renew. It is my private space to sleep and have sex. It is where I set my intention at the beginning of each day and put down my cares and concerns at the end of the night. At least, it should be. Sadly, my bedroom is not currently living up to this vision. I figured I would start with this room because if I can get some of these basic needs met, it will have nothing but a beneficial effect on the rest of my life. I'm working with the trickle down theory.

I want the vibe of this room to be relaxing, grounding, and sensual. I have a bedside table that I would like to set up with a small stereo and headphones so I can take a time out during the day and listen to one of Jennifer Polle's hypnosis CD's. "Clearing Emotional Blocks" is a great one. If you haven't experienced Jennifer's work, you may want to check out this hypnosis session. It effectively clears out the emotional clutter...

Clearing Emotional Blocks: Hypnosis/Meditation CD

I also like the idea of taking full advantage of my extensive library of relaxation CD's as I drift off in sweet slumber. I have a bookcase in the bedroom that I want to use as my personal altar. Throughout my life, I have always had an altar in my bedroom, that is, until the past few years. This is a focal point for my intention, connection with spirit, and my soul's purpose. I have experienced an inner void since deleting my altar from my personal space. I'm currently working on a vision board to help hone-in my vision on the life I wish to create for myself. I plan on incorporating this vision board into my altar. I want to have a place where I can focus my life-energy at the start of the day through meditation, affirmation, and connection with my spiritual source.

The time has also come to go through my bedroom closet and sort through all of my clothes. With the change in seasons, I need to store away all of my cold weather apparel and pull out clothing from the garage for the warmer months ahead. Additionally, it's important that everything hanging in my closet fits my current body, flatters me, and makes me feel my best. If my closet is full of clothing that doesn't fit, it makes me feel crappy. It also eats up a lot of time. A great deal of energy is wasted trying on outfit after outfit, attempting to find a way to pull myself together. Wouldn't it be great to open the closet and know that every single item hanging fits like a glove and showcases my best features? I think so! I want to create that kind of wardrobe for myself. It will support me in the healing work I am doing around body-image.

I don't want to over-complicate this space. My intention is to lighten up the energy in this room by clearing out the busy, stress-producing elements. Next week, I will be posting before and after shots of my bedroom to show off everything I've accomplished.

The Bathroom:

This is the final room in my home. It is also the second space I will be focusing my attention. I envision the bathroom as a place of self-care which is why I want to make it the next priority in line after the bedroom is addressed. This is the other room that embarrasses me. It needs some serious work. There is so much clutter in this room, mainly occupying every available inch of the sink counter. There are all kinds of toiletries that I haven't used in years crammed into the cabinets. The whole room is sorely in need of a deep scrubbing.

I want my bathroom to have an ocean theme and heavily feature mermaids. The ocean is very special to me. It is my sanctuary. When I need to realign myself, I visit the sea. It would be nice to create a reflection of that in my home. I see the bathroom as my space to indulge in some serious pampering. I want to create a vanity at the sink where I can get myself ready each day and have all my perfumes, body potions, and pampering treats readily available for use. I would also like to create an ideal ambiance for soaking by adding some candles to the decor, along with a place to store yummy bath salts and oils.

I always feel so much better when I make my pampering a priority. I have no shame. I'm a girly-girl. I relish a self-massage with a deliciously-scented aromatherapy oil. I love to lavish myself with beauty treatments. It's a way for me to honor the goddess within... to remind myself that my body and being are sacred. To me, daily pampering is like performing a body blessing. I look forward to having my bathroom reflect this intention.

As you can see, I've really thought about my space and how it can help me address the areas where I feel unfulfilled in my life. I'm excited to get this project underway and also a little nervous. There is a small voice inside telling me that there is more than meets the eye with this process. I anticipate that I am going to get a whole lot more than I bargained for out of this experience. I have a feeling that all the stuff I have been clinging to has been serving a purpose. I believe it has acted as a distraction, preventing me from honestly acknowledging what's been emotionally missing in my life. Inevitably, as I recognize the ways I feel unfulfilled, I'm going to have to make some important changes. That feels a little intimidating. I think I have become rather comfortable and complacent with the status quo. I also know that I am not living up to my full potential, or living the life I deserve. I'm no longer content to settle. Naturally, this will create a fair amount of upheaval, as well as personal revelation. Although I can sense some nervousness around this, I am ready to leap because I cannot put my happiness on hold a moment longer. It's either stay safe and stay stuck, or take a risk to venture on a different path with all of the uncertainty that entails and see what opens up in my life. My choice has been made. Here's to new beginnings!

"The Big Fat Lie" Intuitive Eating Project Focus for August 2009

This month kicks off our intuitive eating project and we are going to begin with our foundation. It is important to start any building work on a strong foundation and that is what we will be establishing with our August 2009 focus.

A first step in creating our foundation is to acknowledge where we are currently. It is vital to have an honest assessment of our current state of health. When I refer to health, I am not only addressing physical health, but the health of your being and life as a whole.

“The Big Fat Lie” participants are required to gather some verifiable starting stats for the purpose of our project. It is preferable for participants to gather this information through a doctor’s visit. Some stats can come from other sources. What we are looking for is a clear picture of where our physical health is at currently. The stats that need to be gathered include, weight, body measurements, body fat percentage, starting photo, blood pressure, and a cholesterol panel. I will not request this information again until the completion of our project on August 1, 2011. A doctor’s visit is the most efficient way to meet most of these stat requirements. However, it is acceptable to have blood pressure and cholesterol panels performed at a drug store that offers these testing services. If this is the route you choose to go, please ask for a copy for your records. Black out all personally sensitive information, print a photocopy for me, and mail to my address with the other materials required. I will need to retain copies of all stats. This will be pertinent for the legitimacy of our intuitive eating project. Again, if you are obtaining copies from your doctor, please black out your personally sensitive information and create a photocopy to return to me. Weight, measurements, and body fat percentage can all be obtained at your local gym. A personal trainer can help you in this regard. In some instances, a personal trainer may even be able to take your blood pressure for you. This is acceptable. Please have the trainer log all your results and sign off on the paper. Again, retain a copy for my records. I am completely open to you taking your own measurements and of course, it is fine to have a friend or family member take your photo.

For your photo, you do not have to wear anything revealing. Ideally, workout clothing that is form fitting will serve our purposes. As with all other stats, please send me a copy of the photo. I want to encourage participants to also post their starting photo along with their stats to, “The Big Fat Lie” site. There are many, “Through Thick and Thin” members that will be following us as we go through this process. It can be helpful for them to see our true starting points. I also want to mention that it is an important step in owning your current body and state of health. I personally, will be posting my photo and stats on the site, so you will have company. For those who feel too uncomfortable to post their photo to the site, please make sure to post starting stats once they have been obtained sans photo.

Once you have gathered together copies of all your required stats, please mail them out to me no later than September 25, 2009. I am allotting extra time to compile these stats so individuals have an opportunity to schedule all necessary appointments. However, I need to have your signed copy of the legal waiver and release form mailed no later than August 14, 2009. If I do not have a copy of the legal waiver and release form in my hands by August 21, 2009 I will consider it your forfeiture from involvement in this project and will have no other option but to cease your participation. I wish we could skip all the legalities and formalities, but unfortunately, it is required for the ultimate protection of all participating in this work.

The other thing we need to focus on this month is drawing up our intention statement. This will be posted by each member of the project to, “The Big Fat Lie” site no later than, August 31, 2009. Take some time with this one. Arrange an opportunity for reflection. Think of where you are currently and where you would like to head in your life. Why is your involvement in this project important to you? What are you hoping it will bring into your life? How do you envision yourself and the quality of your life at the end of this two year experience? What is going to keep you motivated to stick with the intuitive eating path when you face bumps in the road? How do you plan to create a supportive atmosphere as you go through this process? Speak from a soul level. I want you to think of connecting with the true energy of what motivates you to make this two year commitment.

When you have a clear intention formulated, write it out. Post your intention statement to, “The Big Fat Lie” site. It can also be helpful to make a copy that you can post in a visible place and read often to remind you why this healing journey is important to you. This can provide a potent source of motivation and inspiration when you encounter learning experiences, which are inevitable on any healing path.

This is our month to create that foundation that we will launch a future of living our full potential from. It is our time to look at ourselves honestly, see where we are stuck, and set our intention for where we are looking to go in this healing journey. For those who may need a refresher, it can be helpful to review the principles of intuitive eating. Since intuitive eating is part of our healing foundation, it meshes well with this month’s focus to get reacquainted with the fundamentals. Next month we will dive in a little deeper and begin the process of implementing some gentle changes. I welcome you to, “The Big Fat Lie” intuitive eating project and thank you for your involvement. I look forward to sharing this experience with each and every one of you.