The Big Fat Lie

Birk Baehr on the SLOW Food Movement

2010-09-30T12:00:00.000-07:00

Birk Baehr is an 11 year old boy who has a passion for the planet and educating others about what is wrong with our food system. In a mere 5 minutes this articulate young man pinpoints the problem with how we produce food today and what we can do about it to make it better for everyone. Let's support the truth-tellers in the world... those brave enough to take a stand and use their voice for the good of all. Birk Baehr is such an individual. I hope you will take the time to view his talk on food politics today...

Big Changes in Store for the "Big Fat Lie"

2010-09-02T08:11:00.000-07:00

As some of you may know, I went on retreat for the month of August. There's a lot of shift happening and the landscape of my life is starting to look very different. I know I'm not the only person feeling the call of new roads. Everyone I talk to from dear friends, to strangers I chat up in line at the grocery store seem to be caught up in the spin cycle of change.

Sometimes, in order to allow the new to enter it is necessary to release the old. Call it creating some breathing room for the new. At the very least, redefinition is usually in order. I'm experiencing this right now with a great deal of my online projects. These changes will affect "The Big Fat Lie".

Unfortunately, the majority of participants in this project have fallen away. So much so, that it's not really much of a project anymore. At least, not in the way it was intended. Initially, this bummed me out because I put a whole lot of myself into "The Big Fat Lie". During my time away, my perspective has shifted. Change can be a very, very good thing. It often is essential and rather than resist the inevitable, I have decided to open myself to new possibilities that can emerge from this work.

I'm not quite sure what that will look like in this moment. I want to give some time for a new vision to emerge. At this point, there is no longer an intuitive eating project. I've appreciated each person that expressed a desire to be involved and contributed what they were able to. I thank you for your time and participation.

Whole foods, sustainability, and heaping a whole lot of love on this planet of ours is still very important to me. I want to continue to write on such topics and keep a blog going that offers informative resources for people looking to care for their bodies while also extending that care to the earth. I may keep this blog and have it go through some alterations to reflect the changes I am experiencing. I may start a new blog all together that is in alignment with the fresh direction that has emerged for me. I need some time to sit with it, feel out what's the best fit for me and how I want to share my voice in the world.

From this point forward, there will be no more monthly focuses. Last month wrapped up a solid year of monthly editions. The previous focuses continue to be available through the archived postings. They are there for you to dust off and revisit if you feel moved to do so.

For now, I'm going to continue to take some time to figure out my next step. I will be sure to post my decision as soon as I have reached that point of clarity. A big thank you to all of you who have visited this blog and shared the energy of this vision. It's time for a new vision to be born.

"The Big Fat Lie" August 2010 Community Focus

2010-07-30T13:28:00.000-07:00

Mind:

- Do the choices you make at the supermarket support the ethical treatment of animals? Do you know? Dairy and egg industries are notorious for abusive practices. Don't be fooled by the label on those products that boast words like 'natural', 'farm-raised', 'cage-free', or 'free-range'. Those terms are advertisements used to evoke down-home images that play on our ideals. Upon seeing such labels, most of us envision green pastures with happy cows grazing on grass and chickens clucking merrily, going about their daily business of pecking at bugs as nature intended. The farm life most of these dairy cows and laying hens are living is stark in contrast to that pristine image.

You may assume that because you purchase organic you are exempt from participation in the abuse of animals. Not so. Disturbingly, many organic farmers have found loopholes that allow them to meet the bare-minimum criteria in order for their products to gain the right to use that label. This month, do your research. There are farms that have cruelty-free practices. It can be a bit like searching for a needle in a haystack, but they're out there.

Here are some tips to get you started in your search for dairy and eggs raised in a humane way:

1. Get educated about what really goes on behind the scenes to bring dairy and eggs to your table. After doing your research you can make an informed choice about whether or not you want to support these practices. You can begin your research by visiting the Farm Sanctuary site. I have provided a direct link below to their "Truth Behind Labels" campaign.

http://www.farmsanctuary.org/issues/campaigns/truth_behind_labeling.html

2. Find out how your current dairy supplier scores both in terms of meeting organic standards and the ethical treatment of animals. Visit the Cornucopia Institute to view detailed reports and see your dairy's scorecard. The Cornucopia Institute's mission is to promote economic justice for family scale farming and humane practices. I have provided a direct link to their "Dairy Report and Scorecard" article.

http://www.cornucopia.org/2008/01/dairy-report-and-scorecard/

3. Take advantage of the worldwide web. Do online research and explore animal welfare websites that can point you in the right direction to find ethically produced animal products. To get you started, I have supplied some helpful links below.

The American Humane Association has been protecting animals and children since 1877. By utilizing their search feature and entering the words 'dairy' and 'eggs' you can find extensive information about farm practices and those that have been approved by the AHA.

http://www.americanhumane.org/

By utilizing the link below you will be led to the Animal Welfare Approved "Farm Profiles" page. Click on the region you live and get a listing of all Animal Welfare Approved farms in your area.

http://www.animalwelfareapproved.org/farms/

4. Nothing is as telling as seeing a farm's practices firsthand. Many farms offer public tours where you can actually see what goes on in a working day, allowing you to interact with both farmhands and animals. Seek out a local farm in your area that boasts humane practices and see if they not only talk the talk, but walk the walk. If you do find farms that hold themselves to a high-standard of cruelty-free practices, be sure to give them a shout out here on the comments section of this post. Whistle blowing is important and necessary but we also need to celebrate those who are doing good work in the world.

Body:

- Write a letter to your body. This is something I did recently and it was very cathartic for me. I have posted my letter here at "The Big Fat Lie" so you can see how I approached this exercise. This is a statement of ownership of your body. We only get one earth suit and its care is our responsibility alone. This letter is a way for you to acknowledge the current state of your relationship with your body.

Does your body need more attention? Have you been listening to your body and respecting its needs? Is your body hungry for love, affection, pampering, creative outlets, nurturing food, fresh air? Have you neglected your friend? Do you owe your body an apology? What do you plan to do to make amends?

This exercise may also highlight some stuck places. Through writing this letter you may recognize the need for more attention to self-care, yet not feel ready to make the commitment to yourself that is required to make this change. Allow your truth to emerge, whatever it may be. This is about getting real and owning where you're at. Allow space to explore feelings of resistance, fear, concern, or insecurity that may arise.

It's an act of power to own your experience... to claim full responsibility for your quality of life. If you do become aware of present limitations, give yourself a break. Judgment and guilt are useless emotions. View this exercise as an opportunity to raise awareness around areas that may have escaped your attention. This can be a potent catalyst for change. Never underestimate the power of truth-telling. Accept where you are presently. If you decide you want something better for yourself you can move forward from your current reality with intention and consciousness.

Periodically, you may want to renew your commitment to care for your body by writing follow-up letters. This will reflect the evolution of your healing path. The road to wellness is often a long, winding one with many twists, turns, and detours along the way. Such is the nature of any journey. Writing these letters can become like landmarks, highlighting your progress.

Keep these letters in a special place. When you feel stuck and like you've run out of options you can reflect back on their messages. You always have the power to chart a new course. Your path is never static. It moves and breathes right alongside you. Even when it feels like you are spinning your wheels, getting a whole lot of nowhere, there is movement happening. It's just that sometimes it's an inner movement, not yet evident to the outside world. This doesn't make it any less valuable. Progress is progress. These letters can become like a road map to the express route back to you.

- Take a summer stroll down to your local library and check out a cookbook that tickles your fancy. Think outside your recipe box. Choose a cookbook that peaks your interest and features cuisine outside your norm. Maybe you'll want to explore vegetarian cooking. Perhaps you'll be drawn to more worldly flavors like Indian, Thai, or Cuban cuisine. Each week for the month of August whip up one of the recipes from the cookbook. Go ahead... live on the edge and try something new. Variety is the spice of life and in terms of nutrition, a varied diet nurtures health. Enjoy exploring new tastes. You may discover what will become favorites for years to come.

Spirit:

- Nothing fills the well of your soul like giving back. What cause is near and dear to your heart? Where do you feel more awareness needs to be raised? This month, volunteer your time and energy to a worthwhile pursuit. Become a champion for a cause and receive the joy of service.

There are many ways you could go about doing this. You could volunteer your time at a center. You could hold a bake sale to raise money for donation. You could start a blog to become a voice for an issue that is important to you.

"In giving you are throwing a bridge across the chasm of your solitude."
- Antoine de Saint-Exupery, The Wisdom of the Sands

Reach out, make the connection and touch another soul today, finding your own renewed.

Feel Your Connection to Nature:

- Now is the perfect time to go camping. Pitching a tent in the elements is a great way to experience the simplicity of being without the distraction of all the modern technological trappings. There is something about feeling that close to nature that reminds us of our connection to the wild wonder of this planet. It's also a great way to support your state parks. This gives back and provides services that protect our natural resources. Plus, it's fun! Who doesn't enjoy huddling around a campfire, roasting smores, and laughing the night away with good friends? You can even enjoy the adventure of a moonlit hike.

I know, I know, I hear the protests. Some of you would prefer a five star hotel to a night spent under the stars. When was the last time you gave it a try? Maybe you could be open to an overnighter. No major commitment required there. At the very least, gather together some loved ones and head out to a local state park to enjoy a full day of earthy fun. You can always call it a night in the comfort of your own bed.

A Letter To My Body

2010-07-30T13:27:00.000-07:00

Dear Body,

I have been thinking about you a lot lately. I feel like there is some distance between us. I miss how close we used to be. You've been such a loyal friend to me and I realize I haven't been there for you lately. This doesn't sit right in my heart. I owe you an apology. That's why I am writing you this letter. There are some things I need to express to you. I hope you will hear me out. I know I have let you down. You have every reason to be upset with me. I want to heal our relationship and I am ready to own my part in the rift.

I'm sorry I have abandoned you. I have neglected your needs. You've always shown up for me. You've had my back, but when you needed me most, I checked out. I haven't been a very good listener. I have monopolized the conversation and been a bit of a bully, forcing you to put up with shit that no friend should ever have to tolerate. I know that when I have been hurt, it is healing to have my pain acknowledged. I am aware of the harm I have caused you and I want to make amends by owning up to the ways I have neglected our friendship.

I have stayed up into the wee hours of the night watching the Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson. I have pittered around the house tending to things that could easily be put off till tomorrow while you begged me for the respite of a warm bed and a soft pillow to rest your head upon. All you wanted was to let the tension of the day melt away as you slipped off to slumber. I have denied you this need.

I have kept you cooped up inside, chained to the computer. These four walls have been creeping in around you. The computer has become your leash, tethering you in from taking fresh air into your lungs, feeling the warm breeze caress your face, the sunshine kissing your skin, the cool, green grass tickling your bare feet. You have been hungry for these things and I have served you an empty plate.

You have been in pain. You have asked me for help, knowing my healing gifts. I have denied you the benefit of these gifts, instead bestowing them freely upon others. I have put the needs of others... some strangers to me... above those of my best friend.

I see you come alive when you dance. Your passion... your inspiration... seeps through every pore of your being when immersed in that ecstatic movement. Dance is your lifeblood. Your connection to your creative power. Without dance, your soul becomes withered and small when your birthright is to live large in this world. I know you struggle to move at your current size. I have seen you labor... the gasping for air, the muscle weakness, the difficulty in letting yourself soar when you feel anchored to the ground with limitation. You need more tangible support from me so you can continue to enjoy the dance you love. I am aware you need physical therapy after dance class in order to recover. You need to be strengthened so you have a solid foundation to support your art. You need the release of yoga so the tightness in your muscles can melt away, giving you more freedom and ease of movement. You need the time and space to consistently practice so you can adapt to the physical demand that is being placed on you and evolve as an artist. I am aware of all of these needs and I have dropped the ball. You have suffered as a direct result of my lack of response. You have been sidelined by repeated injury and have been denied the dance that is like air for your soul to breathe.

I have silenced your hunger. I know how important it is for you to have breakfast each day. When you are denied your morning meal, it lays out the welcome mat for ED to pay a visit. I am aware of this and have betrayed you by leaving you vulnerable to ED and his shenanigans. I have heard your pleas of hunger and drowned them out with copious amounts of coffee. I have distracted myself from listening to you, putting off addressing your needs until completing inconsequential tasks I have deemed more worthy of my attention. These tasks will always be there, ready for me to pick up where I left off later. If I don't take care of you, I am not guaranteed such grace. I need you. Without you, there is no me. It is time I moved your needs to the top of the list.

I have been a slave to the grind. I have pilfered your energy by burning the candle at both ends. I have worked you into the ground. I have become a devotee to the dogma of the human doer. I have undervalued the experience of the human being. You have expressed your discontent in symbols... cricked neck, aching back, cluster migraines, stress, emotional strain, apathy, depression... a sign language articulating your need for downtime. I have pushed you to your limit... far beyond your means. I do not blame you for being angry with me. You are inflamed... incensed. You have raged. You have screamed. I have ignored you when all you wanted was to be heard.

You are sacred and long to be honored. You wish to be pampered and lavished with love. You crave foot rubs, sensual touch, homespun facials, massages with luscious aromatherapy oils, manis and pedis. You relish being adorned in queenly finery... silky fabrics, precious baubles as rare and priceless as you, a trace of Egyptian Goddess perfume blessing your belly, the small of your back, your thighs. These things do not make the woman, but they do rouse a purr. It is treating you as my altar with each act an offering to honor, cherish, adore. It is a reverent bow to the sacred within.

For many moons you have been encouraging me to adopt a vegetarian approach. You have shown me how supported you feel from the inside, out on this kind path. I didn't completely trust you. I wasn't all in. Even though you thanked me when I explored a whole foods vegetarian lifestyle with radiant energy, glowing skin, healed digestion, clarity and calm, I repaid your gratitude with questioning. I doubted you when you have always been honest with me. I continued to sporadically force feed you foods that made you howl with discomfort. You rebelled and rightfully so. I asked you to lead me to health and when you did, I bit the hand that feeds me.

Please forgive me for ignoring you, mistreating you, refusing you, dishonoring you, and taking your needs to be insignificant. You deserve so much better than this. Remember when I was a little girl? You and me... we sure had a lot of fun, didn't we? We've had some great times together...

Splashing through the creek chasing polliwogs...

Drinking in the sweet nectar of honeysuckle on lazy summer days...

Lying in the field gazing at a sea of clear blue sky with fluffy cotton candy clouds sailing by like ships in route to the land of daydreams...

We used to belly laugh, dance, twirl, leap, run, nap, create, imagine, dream, explore, discover. We still can. We can make new memories. Let's get back to the way we used to be before all the naysayers, dream crushers, and fear told us it wasn't OK to simply be. I know you have been ready for a long time. I've arrived a bit late to the party. I'm here now and I promise to never leave your side again.

Let's pinky swear on it.

"The Big Fat Lie" July 2010 Community Focus

2010-07-06T15:21:00.000-07:00

Mind:

Dreams speak of the unclaimed parts of ourselves... our hopes, fears, desires, needs... our truth. This month bring some awareness to your subconscious by engaging in dreamwork. Keep a dream journal by your bedside. Each night before you slip off to slumber, open your journal and write down a question for your subconscious to answer in your dreams. In order to invite your subconscious to come forward and speak to you through your dreams, phrase your question as, "What do I need to know about... my relationship, my career, my health, my family, my friendships (you fill in the blank)?" Simply jot down whatever has been troubling you or rattling around in your head with no apparent direction or solution. Create the invitation for the guidance you need to come forward from the deepest place within you. If you haven't had anything in particular on your mind you can leave the question open-ended and simply write, "What do I need to know at this time?" In the morning, when you rise, simply write down whatever you remember from your dreams underneath the question you posed in your journal. Don't worry about figuring any of it out in that moment, just log what's fresh in your memory. If you can't seem to recall any dreams, log any phrases, words, or images that come to mind in those first waking moments and don't worry if they make sense at this point. Simply make your notes. Sometimes, when engaged in dreamwork, you may wake in middle of the night from a vivid dream. If this is the case, go ahead a take a second to jot down the impressions you remember. Later, when you have time, sit with your dreamwork entry and see what it speaks to you. What does it symbolize? What guidance came filtering in through your dreams in relation to your question? Open your mind and see what threads of connection you can form. This is a wonderful way to begin to get in touch with your own internal guidance.

Body:

Sinus issues are very common at this time of year. Air conditioning and the dry heat of sweltering days can irritate delicate sinus tissues. So many people throw away money on anti-histamines and nasal sprays when there is an extremely effective natural solution. Nasal irrigation with the use of a neti pot has been found to be very beneficial for preventing sinus infections, allergic responses, headaches, and asthma. Ayurvedic texts outline that the practice of nasal irrigation using a sea salt water blend can have a balancing effect on all the systems of the body, including the emotions. I have been using a neti pot upon the recommendation of my doctor and I am amazed by how much it has freed up my breathing. I have also noted benefits that extend beyond the alleviation of my sinus issues. If you struggle with sinus-related maladies, give yourself the opportunity to discover this healing approach. Now is the perfect time with summer in high gear to get some relief using a natural method. Neti pots are very inexpensive. When you add up all the costs of allergy medications, inhalers, and anti-histamines, it becomes clear what a wise investment this can be in your health. You can get your own neti pot by following the link below...

Neti Pot Starter Kit with 1.5 Oz Aromatic Salt Original Neti Pot Salt

Pay homage to the sun by starting your day with a sun salutation practice. Sun salutations are a series of yoga poses, or asanas, that are threaded together in a sequence that moves like a dance matched to breath. Opening poses or back bends are matched to inhale. Folding forward poses are matched to exhale. Sun salutations center and energize your entire being. It is a wonderful practice to begin your day with and is very much in harmony with the summer season. This sequence provides strengthening, cardiovascular, and flexibility conditioning in a relatively brief amount of time. Ten minutes spent in sun salutation can be of immense benefit physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually, by helping you connect with yourself and the natural rhythm of the world around you. If sun salutations are a new practice for you, you may want to begin with as little as three rounds of the sequence. Each week as you feel strengthened, you can add more rounds until you reach a place that feels right for your body. I have included a video below that demonstrates this sequence for those of you who may be unfamiliar with yoga. The video features Shiva Rea and a sun salutation practice that is a little over 8 minutes in duration. Namaste...

Spirit & Feeling Your Connection With Nature:

This month our spirit and nature focuses are combined. We are going to give ourselves the opportunity to experience nature as healer. At some point during this month gather together a blanket to spread out and lounge upon, some food and beverages, a soul-stirring book, journal, sketch pad, pens, pencils, markers, bubbles, whatever you like, along with the willingness to head outdoors and spend the day communing with the natural world around you. Give yourself the gift of this day to simply be and get reconnected with yourself. Sit and do nothing if you like, just listening to the rhythm of your breath, the sounds of nature swirling around you in this dance of life. Meditate or do some yoga barefoot upon the cool grass. Blow bubbles like you did as a kid or cartwheel yourself across an open field. Write in your journal about whatever comes up for recognition in your soul. Let out your creativity and doodle to your heart's content or draw a picture of your natural surroundings. Nap as the sun warms your bones and you are serenaded to sleep by the songs of birds. Ask those deep questions and listen for nature's answers. Feel your connection to all that is and the sublime beauty of simply being in nature's loving embrace.

Happy 4th of July!

2010-07-02T09:15:00.000-07:00

"The Big Fat Lie" would like to wish all of you a happy 4th of July weekend. Go out and enjoy some down home BBQ. Soak up some sun. Catch the fireworks with the family. Most of all, have fun and be safe. Make sure to hand over your keys if you get carried away with the libation. Be sure to look out for family and friends by making them do the same. Let's do our part to ensure we all have a good time by practicing some common sense. Please don't drink and drive.

I'm off to enjoy a three-day weekend of festivities, but I will be back next week to post the July 2010 focus. Until then, make the most of this holiday break. Kick up your heels and have yourself some fun!

"The Big Fat Lie" June 2010 Community Focus: Surrender to June's Sensual Embrace

2010-06-03T14:06:00.000-07:00

June is a romantic month. This is the most popular time for weddings and there is a little history behind this. The month of June was named after one of the most powerful Goddesses in the Roman pantheon, Juno, the Goddess of love and marriage. For this reason, the month of June has traditionally been viewed as a blessed time to wed.

This month also features summer solstice on June 21st. The longest day of the year is a time when lovers tryst. We celebrate the beginning of summer by letting down our hair and releasing our inhibitions. With the sun finally peeking through the storm clouds of the last of the spring showers, a new kind of energy fills the air. This is when summer romances begin. Balmy evenings create the perfect conditions for a moonlit stroll. Pleasure and festivity is at hand as we enter the flow of the summer season. A passionate warmth tinges the advent of summer that brings out a bit of the hedonist in all of us.

In harmony with the spirit of this month, our June 2010 Focus will center on reconnecting with our sensuality. Slip into something more comfortable and delight in the slinky vibe of the season.

Mind:

Get in the mood with some reading to tickle your senses. Dust off that old copy of the Kama Sutra and explore its offerings. Lose yourself in the pages of, "Delta of Venus" By, Anais Nin. If you're a true romantic, pick up your favorite Jane Austen novel. Or drink in some poetry that plucks your heart strings. Whether you revel in erotica, are a Twi-hard, or can't seem to part with your Harlequin romance novels, make some time this month to turn up the heat by sinking into a book that gets you a little hot under the collar.

Body:

Prepare an aphrodisiac feast. Many of the fruits and veggies on offer this summer season are considered aphrodisiacs. Coincidence? You be the judge. The word aphrodisiac comes from Aphrodite, the Goddess of sensuality and love. It is believed foods that possess aphrodisiac qualities have the ability to rev libido and stoke the fires of passion. Set the tone for a steamy picnic. Bring along chocolate covered strawberries, pesto pasta salad, arugula dressed with truffle oil, and a bottle of mead to work its magic. Or design a menu of your own using the below list of aphrodisiac foods.

Foods That Get It On and Poppin'...

Almond
Arugula
Asafetida
Asparagus
Avocado
Bananas
Basil
Broccoli Rabe
Carrots
Chocolate
Coffee
Coriander
Fennel
Figs
Garlic (I know! Goes against every bit of dating advice you've ever received.)
Ginger
Honey
Licorice
Mustard
Mustard greens
Nutmeg
Oysters
Pineapple
Pine nuts
Raspberries
Strawberries
Truffles
Vanilla
Wine

Infuse your sweat sessions with sensuality. Explore forms of movement that put you in touch with your sensuous side. Dance is a great way to get fit and creatively express your soulful sexuality. Belly dance not only awakens the goddess within, it is also tonifying for the entire female reproductive system. Latin dance sizzles with lots of spicy accents, perfect for introducing you to your muy caliente side. If you really want to let loose you may want to take a burlesque class and learn the art of tease. These are the obvious options, but let's break down the word sensual. The dictionary defines sensual as, "Relating to or affecting any of the senses or a sense organ; sensory." This expands the possibilities. Explore the sweet surrender of your body releasing through the sinuous flow of vinyasa yoga. Embrace the sensory delight of weightlessness as you swim to temper the heat of the day. Just about any form of movement can be sensual if you are fully present in your body and allow yourself to be in the experience.
Coax your sensual nature out of hiding. Pamper yourself with luxurious treats. Create your own signature scent using a sensuous blend of aromatherapy oils. Jasmine, ylang-ylang, myrrh, patchouli, and the grand diva, the rose, are intoxicating aphrodisiac scents. You can also use these oils in a diffuser to give your boudoir an alluring vibe. Wear clothing made of fabrics that surround you in rapturous bliss. Think billowy skirts, flowy garments, outfits that have a wink of flirtatiousness made of fabrics that feel good to the touch like satin, silk, or bamboo. Get in the mood by infusing your space with candlelight, intoxicating music that lifts your senses to another level, a gorgeous bouquet of roses on your bedside table. Reconnect with your romantic nature. Even if you are single and loving it, you can invite sensuality into your life. Hit all your senses... sight, sound, smell, taste, touch, and let the enchantment commence!

Spirit:

Being open to new things is sexy. This month, expand your view by bringing some attention to your second chakra. Eastern thought speaks of an energetic body compromised, among other elements, of chakra energy centers. It is believed there are seven main chakra energy centers that run from the base of the spine all the way up to the crown of the head. Each chakra has dominion over a particular life energy. In alignment with our sensual focus, we will be concentrating on the second chakra which is the energy center that houses our sexual and creative energy. The bodily location of this chakra is 1-2 inches below your navel. This chakra vibrates to the color orange. It's element is water and it's related to the sense of taste. It is said that we experience stagnation, illness, or obstacles in our lives when our energy centers are blocked. By nourishing the chakras with healing intention, we can keep them clear and open, thereby inviting more free-flowing energy and balance into our lives. Working with your chakras does not require you to subscribe to any particular spiritual belief. Think of this more as holistic healing which can bring you into contact with the mystery of your soul. The second chakra is about connection. Connection with our creativity, sexuality, intuition, emotions, needs, and sense of self-worth. Dysfunction in the second chakra shows up physically as, lack of energy, fatigue, IBS, low back pain, sciatica, urinary tract infections, reproductive and libido issues. Emotional manifestations of excessive second chakra energy include, aggression, Type A behavior, overindulgence, obsession, power trips, manipulation, and an intense need to control. Excessive energy can also show up as blurry boundaries. Deficient second chakra energy is characterized by, lack of trust, resentment, frigidity or impotence, guilt, blame, co-dependence, insecurity, avoidance of emotions, denial, and feeling paralyzed by fear, unable to move forward in life. You know your second chakra energy is low when you have trouble feeling what you feel. That sense that you can't quite put your finger on what is bothering you. These imbalances show up in our lives as blocked creativity, or creative burnout, addiction, intimacy issues, and money problems. The beauty is, these imbalances can be addressed. Work with some of the suggestions below to get your second chakra humming.

Simple Ways to Balance the Second Chakra...

Get your body moving. Exercise is a great way to balance the energy of the second chakra. Hip-opening yoga asanas, belly dance, hula-hooping, and even simple hip circles and pelvic thrusts have a stabilizing effect on this chakra.
Belly rubs using one of the afformentioned sensual aromatherapy oils dispersed in a carrier oil like almond oil balance this energy center. Better yet, see if your lover can show your tummy some appreciation by giving you the massage so you can relax and receive.
Surround yourself with more orange if you feel your second chakra energy is deficient. Highlight this color in your wardrobe and surroundings. Wear jewelery that features stones such as carnelian or tiger's eye that have an orange hue.
Water has a tonifying effect. Make sure you are well-hydrated by keeping a water bottle on your person. Take soothing mineral baths. Cool off on a hot day by taking a dip in the pool. Visit the ocean or other bodies of water to calm and center.
Create affirmations. Write them on post-its and put them in prominent places, like the dashboard of your car, where you will see them often. A nice one to work with that resonates with the energy of the second chakra is, "I openly express my sensuality. I honor my sacred sexuality."
Remember that you don't need to drive yourself so hard. Take breaks within the day for rest and play.
Engage in a practice of self-care. Eat foods that make you hum. Move your body in pleasurable ways. Create space to decompress. Play more and stress less. Get quality sleep. Indulge in a little daily pampering. Nourish the relationships and passions that are important to you. Keep your home tidy so you can let go and relax at the end of the day.
Engage in meditation. Close your eyes and breathe into your belly. Let your belly relax fully, rising and falling with each breath. Focus your attention on the area 1-2 inches below your navel. Imagine an orange orb spinning there. This is your second chakra. How does your chakra look? Is it a bright orange, or does it appear murky? Does it spin freely, or is it stuck, slow, or sluggish? Imagine bringing this energy center into a place of healthy balance. Get creative. There is no wrong way to go about this. Let the child inside out to play. This is very much in harmony with working with second chakra energy. If you see your second chakra as dark and cloudy in your mind's eye, you can imagine a hose appearing, cleansing the chakra with purifying water. Envision the water washing away all the gunk until your chakra glows bright orange. You can even visualize your breath going into the chakra, blowing out the cobwebs, helping it spin more freely. Just play with it and feel it out. Open your mind and let your creativity lead. Spend as much time with this as you like and trust that when you are able to see your chakra balanced in your mind's eye that the healing has taken effect. Pay attention over the next few days after working with this meditation and note any changes you experience or feelings that come up. You may even want to jot down synchronicities in your journal.

Feel Your Connection to Nature:

Grab a blanket and head out the evening of June 26th for a little stargazing. You'll be in store for a celestial treat. This night will not only feature a full moon, but a partial lunar eclipse that will be visible throughout the western Americas, Australia, and most of eastern Asia. Nothing feels quite as magical as taking in the beauty of a clear summer night's sky. Enjoy!

Movin' and Groovin' with the Vibe of the Summer Season

2010-06-03T13:45:00.001-07:00

Summer is an energetic time of year. With day longer than night, we are at the year's zenith of activity. It would be a shame to piddle away this exuberant energy going through the motions at the gym. If ever there was a time to think outside the box when it comes to fitness, this is it. There's such a wide variety of exercise options during the summer. See if you can invite a spirit of play into your training sessions this season.

Think back to the carefree days of summer when you were a kid. Remember the excitement you felt when that final school bell rang announcing the start of summer break? Recall that sense of childhood enthusiasm. Growing up doesn't mean getting old. Breathe some of that youthful energy back into your heart and just play. Relax around your workouts and kick up your heels a bit. It's a great way to switch things up and experience movement in a new way.

Fun in the Sun Fitness:

Run through the sprinklers with your kids.
Play Marco Polo at the local community swimming pool.
Have a good old fashioned water balloon fight.
Head out to the park. Fly high on the swings. Monkey around on the monkey bars. Play tag with a group of friends. Let yourself be silly and free. Play as if no one is watching just like you did back in the day.
Catch a bitchin' wave on your boogie board.
Go rollerskating down the boardwalk.
Hit a music festival and shake that groove thang. Dancing is fun and a great way to work that body. Having live music involved is the cherry on the sundae.
Take the family to a water park for a day of frolicking.

Of course, there are also plenty of summer activities for the weekend warriors to enjoy. Spike these activities with a little playfulness. Drink in the spirited energy of the season. We all benefit from letting our hair down a bit. Pack a gourmet picnic to tote along on your hike. When you reach the summit celebrate your bird's eye view with a fabulous feast. Gather a group together for a kayaking trip down the river. Meet downstream on the shore for a luau party. Finish up that intense bike ride at the movie theater downtown. You can park your wheels while cooling off in the air conditioning as you take in one of the summer blockbusters.

Group sports are another great way to invite more play into your training. Connect with your buddies for a friendly game of tag football. Hit the beach for a round of volleyball. With all the laughter and good times you'll be sharing with friends you'll forget that you're working out. Let fun be your mantra when it comes to fitness this summer season. Your body and spirit will thank you.

Summer Training Activities:

Hiking
Rock climbing
Biking
Surfing
Water Skiing
Swimming
Aqua aerobics
Football
Basketball
Softball
Soccer
Volleyball
Trail running
Jogging
Walking at the beach. The sand provides great muscle strengthening resistance. Consider throwing in some intervals by running up the sand dunes. You'll get an amazing training session in nature's gym.
Kayaking
Water running. Many community pools offer lanes for this purpose. The water provides resistance that makes this a very effective low-impact form of exercise. It's also a great way to get that intensity while beating the heat.
Water polo

Another thing to consider are the many charitable walks, runs, and triathlons that are hosted in the summer. These events provide a wonderful opportunity to get out there and move your body while giving back to a worthy cause. Approaching training as a way to pay it forward provides a hefty return in yummy feel-good vibes. If you are inspired, investigate which causes have events slated for the summer and pick one to participate in that is personally meaningful to you.

On a final note, make sure to keep yourself well-hydrated this summer season. Between the period of 1979-2003 excessive heat exposure contributed to the death of 8,015 Americans. There are certain risk factors to be aware of in order to keep yourself safe this season while you're out galavanting.

Preventing Heat Stroke:

Infants, children, the elderly (age 65 and older), and those with chronic medical conditions are more susceptible to heat stress. Extra precautions should be taken in these cases.
Air conditioning provides the number one source of protection from heat stroke. Make sure to break up time spent in the elements with cool down periods indoors. Malls, libraries, movie theaters, and other public venues offer a place to cool off and recover from the heat.
Be aware of your local weather. Both the weather channel and public health center in your area can keep you informed of heat waves and the safety measures you need to take to ensure your protection.
Stay well-hydrated. Bump up those fluids, especially when training outdoors. Physical activity makes your fluid needs go up. Also, be mindful that caffeine and alcoholic beverages are dehydrating. Double up on your water intake for every glass of dehydrating beverages you consume. If you are exercising on a hot day, a good rule of thumb is to consume 2-4 glasses of cool water each hour to prevent heat exhaustion.
Be sure to replace salt and minerals lost through sweating. A sports drink, or Emergen-C can help with this. However, if you are watching your salt intake because of a medical condition be sure to consult your physician before consuming these beverages.
Wear lightweight, breathable clothing and don't forget to slather on a broad-spectrum sunscreen with an SPF of 15 or higher. Make sure to reapply sunscreen regularly according to package directions and don't skimp when it comes to application. For reference, it takes about a shot glass full of sunscreen to properly protect the body from harmful rays. I personally recommend a chemical-free mineral based sunscreen for complete protection. If you will be outdoors for a long period of time, consider wearing a wide-brimmed hat.
Think of scheduling your outdoor training for the morning or early evening hours when the sun's rays are a bit more forgiving. Scope out shady areas ahead of time so you can dip in for a rest should you begin to feel over-heated.
Slow your roll! Back off on your usual intensity of training on sweltering days. It's advisable to take the pace a little easier during heat waves.
Consider training with a friend. It's good to have someone on hand should an emergency arise.

The Signs of Heat Stroke:

Body temperature of 103 degrees F or higher.
Overheated body with an absence of sweat. Sweat is the body's cooling system. A lack of perspiration is cause for concern.
Disorientation/confusion
Nausea
Dizziness
Pounding headache
Strong, rapid pulse
Unconsciousness

In Case of Heat-Stroke Emergency:

Call 911. Make sure medical assistance is on the way.
Get yourself or the victim to a shady area immediately.
The main objective is rapid cooling. This can be achieved in a number of ways. Submerge in a cool tub. Cool down with a water hose or spray bottle. If caring for another who is overheated, you can sponge them down with cool water, or wrap them in a soaked sheet while you fan them, as long as it is not humid.
Keep an eye on body temperature and continue cooling efforts until the body temp drops between 101-102 degrees F.
If medical personnel are delayed call the emergency room for further instruction.
DO NOT GIVE THE VICTIM ANYTHING TO DRINK. This may seem counter-intuitive but it can actually medically complicate a crisis situation and is contraindicated.
If the victim begins to have involuntary muscle twitching make sure that they have a clear area so they don't injure themselves on any nearby objects. If the victim vomits, turn them over onto to their side to keep their airway open.

Heat exhaustion is a more mild form of heat-related illness and is not an emergency situation. Although, it is important to monitor this condition so it doesn't progress to heat stroke. An individual with heat exhaustion may be pale, tired, weak, and dizzy which can lead to fainting. They may also have a headache and muscle cramps. It is possible that nausea and vomiting could be present. The crucial difference between heat exhaustion and the more serious heat stroke is that the individual with heat exhaustion will be sweating heavily. There will also be an absence of confusion and disorientation. However, it is important to seek medical assistance if the individual suffers from high blood pressure, has a heart condition, or if symptoms seem severe. Trust your gut. If you feel that medical help is needed, you are most likely correct. Don't question that judgment. Simply act.

In Case of Heat Exhaustion:

Rehydrate with cool, caffeine-free, non-alcoholic beverages.
Lower body temp with a cool bath or shower.
Rest and recuperate.
Find an air-conditioned environment.
Change into light, breathable clothing.

With a little common sense and preparedness, you can have a safe, fun summer season.

The Time is Ripe to Enjoy Summer's Bounty!

2010-06-03T13:45:00.000-07:00

The long dog days of summer are upon us, ushering in a festive time of year. Everything feels a little different in the summer. The smell of freshly mowed grass fills the air along with the laughter of neighborhood kids beating the heat with water balloon fights. It is a season when whimsy can be found walking barefoot in the cool grass, taking a dip in the local watering hole, or slurping on a refreshing popsicle as a sticky sweet trail makes its way down your arm. It is also the best time of the year to savor nature's ambrosia. There is an overflowing bounty of produce waiting to be relished. The yield of the season is not to be missed. After all, what is summer without sinking your teeth into a succulent juicy peach? That savory BBQ fare wouldn't be the same without fresh seasonal veggies hot off the grill served on the side. The time is ripe for picking from the wide array of gorgeous produce on offer this summer season. Enjoy!

Summer Seasonal Fruits (June-July-August):

Apples
Apricots
Blackberries
Blueberries
Boysenberries
Cherries
Currants
Figs
Melons
Peaches
Raspberries
Strawberries
Tomatoes
Watermelon

Summer Seasonal Vegetables (June-July-August):

Artichokes
Arugula
Beans
Beets
Broccoli
Cabbage
Carrots
Cauliflower
Celery
Collard greens
Cucumber
Eggplant
Garlic
Kale
Lettuce
Okra
Onions
Peas
Peppers
Potatoes
Radishes
Spinach
Summer squash
Sweet corn
Swiss chard
Turnips
Zucchini

Summer Seasonal Blooms (June-July-August):

Alstromeria
Amaranthus
Baby's breath
Bird of paradise
Calla lily
Carnation
Casa Blanca lily
Chrysanthemum
Cockscomb
Cosmos
Dahlia
Delphinium
Foxglove
Freesia
Gardenia
Gladiolus
Gloriosa lily
Heather
Hydrangea
Iris
Lilac
Stargazer

"Through Thick and Thin" Kicks Off, "Women, Food and God" Weekly Support Group

2010-05-27T18:56:00.000-07:00

Hello Community,

May 12th, 2010 will go down as a very pivotal moment in history for the non-diet movement. It was on this day that Oprah had Geneen Roth on her show to discuss her new book, "Women, Food and God". Many of us have been waiting for Oprah to pick up the baton and spread the message to the global community as only she can. As I watched the interview, it felt like a victory for all of us.

I'm glad that Oprah has decided to give up her battle of the bulge and instead learn how to deeply care for herself. This was quite a leap in her rather public struggle. I know it took a great deal of courage, self-reflection, and honesty for her to come out and announce to the world at large that she will never diet again.

I enjoyed the show very much. I do wish that Geneen had more of the floor. I feel that Oprah did most of the talking and I really wanted to hear more of what Geneen had to say. Talking to many other people who saw this interview I have come to discover that this was the general consensus. I also was disappointed that the show did seem to have overtones of the diet mentality peppered throughout. Hey, I get it. Americans want to see results. It's all about the numbers. However, images of before and after shots seemed to run completely counterintuitive to the message that was being shared. It reminded me of something very pertinent that Linda Bacon said in her book, "Health at Every Size". I'm paraphrasing here, but quintessentially Linda expressed that intuitive eating approached like a diet is nothing more than a diet. I couldn't agree with her more.

With splashy images of now thin women who had used the approach outlined in Geneen's books and workshops, the general message conveyed was, "Follow this path and you too can be skinny. You can have the body you've always wanted." Sadly, I feel this does a great disservice. I would have appreciated a more well-rounded view of what this process really entails.

I heard no discussion whatsoever about the anxiety that is encountered when making the choice to never diet again. The illusion was painted that this is a seamless transition free of complication. Those of us who have spent any length of time using this approach know that it is anything but. I heard nothing of the struggle, the confusion, the emotional upheaval, or the fact that where your body chooses to happily settle may not even be in the ballpark of the fantasy view you covet of your body's natural size.

This is not a quick fix. It is the road less traveled and a long, winding road at that. However, despite the ups and downs, it is worth every step taken on the road back to you. That's what we are doing here. We are finding our way back to ourselves... our sacred selves. We are excavating our authentic life. A life that has become buried under the rubble of food and body obsession. Food and body obsession has served as a distraction in our lives. It has prevented us from feeling our emotions, owning our truth, being in contact with our true needs, and discovering the source of our passion and purpose. This is a process of reclaiming. If you think it has anything to do with the size of your dress or the silly little number on a scale, you are missing the point... big time.

Of course we all desire to be our best self. We all want health and vitality but this reality is never obtained by fixating on our weight, stepping on the scale each morning, or having our lives amount to nothing more than the pursuit of thinness. Ironically, health and well-being become the natural result when you nurture self-love and respect. When you have high regard for yourself, you want to take the very best care of you. There is no need for coercion. No dangling carrot that needs to be chased after. When you accept yourself through and through in this moment, you move from reacting, to responding. Reaction is based in fear and response in love. When you get up each morning and greet the day with excitement for the possibilities that lie ahead, you are responding. When you can look at your reflection in the mirror and smile because you know that in this moment, you are more than enough, in fact, you are quite wonderful... you are responding. When you feed your body nourishing foods and move in a way that infuses your life with pleasure and fun, you are responding. Love is the movement and from this momentum all self-care takes root and flourishes.

Diets are based on reaction. You feel crappy about yourself and your life so you react by blaming your body for all of your woes rather than tuning in and feeling out what is really going on. You feel there is no meaning and purpose in your life. Instead of getting in touch with this sense of lack and gaining understanding into your needs and how they can be met, you cling to the illusion that if you only weighed 20 lbs. less everything in your life would be perfect. It's not that carrying around a lot of excess physical baggage can't compromise your sense of wellness. As Geneen Roth states in, "Women, Food and God", if the size of your body has created a scenario where your entire life revolves around your sense of limitation, it's time to think of taking better care of yourself. If you are huffing and puffing to get up a flight of stairs, if you can't tie your own shoes, if getting up out of a chair takes a monumental effort, it is time to consider how well you are showing up for yourself. But... even in these cases, focusing on the weight will not free you from your gilded cage because you never get to the heart of the matter. You never really figure out the ways your current behavior is serving you. That emptiness inside never gets addressed and you remain in a self-perpetuating cycle of abuse. Moving toward self-love, respect, and acceptance is the path to freedom.

Despite my disappointment with certain aspects of the interview, every time that Geneen spoke I hung on every word. I was so moved by Geneen's offerings that I promptly went out that very evening and purchased a copy of, "Women, Food and God". It was the best $16.48 I ever spent. I devoured the book in a day and a half and actually felt sad when I reached the final page. Every single word in that book rang true as if it was written upon my heart. Every word on each page could have been spoken from my own lips.

This was one of those books that came to me at the perfect time in my life. Much of the information contained in its pages had begun to formulate in my mind over the past few months. For this reason, I found it an extremely validating read. I also gained some incredible insights about myself. Things that had flown under my radar and escaped my knowing but were such a pivotal part of my recovery process.

I attend weekly ANAD (Anorexia Nervosa and Associated Disorders) meetings. I call, "Women, Food and God" my portable support group because much of the information was familiar to me. We work with a lot of the techniques Geneen covers in my ANAD group. As a result, this book has been a tremendous source of support for me.

I also think that Geneen addresses a lot of topics that frequently come up on any intuitively-based path. I feel this is an extremely important read for everyone struggling with food and body image issues, no matter your history. I also think it contains a wealth of information for those who have never had to contend with such issues. There is wisdom in this book for everyone.

"Through Thick and Thin", our sister community, has decided to launch a, "Women, Food and God" support group. Beginning in June 2010, this group will meet weekly at the, "Through Thick and Thin" community forum...

http://throughthickandthin.myfreeforum.org/index.php

The intention is to work, as a group, chapter by chapter through Geneen's book. Each week will feature a chapter and focus discussion. There will also be opportunity for individuals to discuss challenges they may be facing with this approach so they can gain the support they need. Questions will also be welcomed... encouraged even. Additionally, each week will have a group exercise that can be done in between meetings in order to embody the path in each of our lives, making it more real.

This group is open to anyone who is interested. Don't let the title of the book fool you. Men are more than welcomed to participate. This book has a lot to offer the fellas too. Meetings will take place every Thursday throughout the day beginning June 3rd. There is no need to check in at any specific time. The discussion will be on-going throughout the day. Pop in as your schedule allows and contribute to the conversation. We look forward to sharing this experience with each and every one of you.

You can obtain a copy of Geneen Roth's, "Women, Food and God" by following this link...

Women Food and God: An Unexpected Path to Almost Everything

"Project Me" Update

2010-05-11T17:52:00.000-07:00

Remember how I promised to share my experience with this project honestly? Well, here I am, coming clean. My decluttering efforts have been coming along slowly and this is mostly because I have been distracted. Since starting this project, I have experienced a subsequent upswing in my eating disorder behavior.

Last Saturday in ANAD (Anorexia Nervosa and Associated Disorders) group I shared the recent eating disorder challenges I have been wading through. I noticed that ED's acting up coincided with the start of this project I created for myself. Barbara, the therapist who leads the ANAD group, gave me some valuable guidance. While she supported my intention to enjoy more homemade meals, she felt I needed to give myself some breathing room with this and back off from making it such an absolute condition of having to cook all my meals at home for 30 days straight. She believes this delves into an area of rigidity that can lead me back into patterns of restriction, deprivation, and starvation, fueling the eating disorder.

I heard her loud and clear. I have been cooking the majority of my meals at home. Some aspects of this have felt very supportive. My home-cooked meals feel more nurturing to my body. However, I have decided to lighten up around this because I think Barbara makes a valid point. After all, I cannot deny the correlation between the launch of, "Project Me" and subsequent rise in my eating disorder behavior.

I did share in group that I noticed the way I create back door scenarios that let my ED behavior creep in. I have been doing a lot of heavy emotional work. For the first time in my life, I am being fully present with my feelings. It has been a lot for me to deal with emotionally. There have been moments I have felt wrung out and drained. The thought, "I wish I could just make this stop" has danced through my head. Only problem is, I haven't been able to stop the flow of feeling. It just keeps coming... like a floodgate has been opened. It's OK. I understand all of this needs to be cleared in order for me to move forward. At the same time, understanding the necessity of this emotional work doesn't make it any easier to deal with the intolerable feelings that can arise. Throughout my life, I have used eating disorder as a way to disconnect and disassociate from my intolerable emotions. As you can see, the increased volume of my painful feelings has created a scenario akin to a dog chasing its own tail.

Quite conveniently, as the difficult emotions continued to surface, I decided to launch, "Project Me". During this period of deep emotional upheaval I set out on a challenge to cook all of my meals at home for the next 30 days. ED is a sneaky bastard and is very clever at finding alternate routes to gain control, especially when everything feels so emotionally messy. I totally set myself up by stocking my cupboards full of foods that require an inordinate amount of preparation... dry beans, rice, whole grains, lentil pilafs... you get the picture. While these may be wholesome foods my decision to load my kitchen full of ingredients that would require lengthy preparation is a bit like going from 0-60 MPH overnight. This is all or nothing mentality in full swing. Keep in mind that prior to making this switch I was almost exclusively dining out for all of my meals. I created an impossible scenario and what I want to make clear is that this was not coincidence. It was cunning.

ED is what drove me to set up my environment this way. Essentially, I put out the welcome mat and said, "Come on in ED. Feel free to take over." This gave me a brilliant excuse to fall into eating disorder behavior. My end aim was achieved. I could disconnect from the difficult feelings that have been surfacing within me. ED effectively achieved this desired result. With ED acting up, I have been completely distracted from the emotional work. Instead, my eating disorder challenges have consumed every bit of my attention. It is such a clever form of distraction from the difficult feelings! These past couple of weeks have shown me just how effectively ED helps me turn off the emotions. No wonder I have yet to find full recovery. ED continues to serve me well. I have yet to develop new coping skills to replace ED's role in my life. Until I do, I will remain stuck.

I believe that in the back of my mind I knew I was setting myself up. I created a very high-pressure scenario that made the proposition of cooking, and therefore eating, absolutely inconvenient, if not improbable. I was alerted to this obvious fact when looking around the circle of members at ANAD group on Saturday. Each person knowingly laughed and nodded their heads in recognition, having played out similar scenarios in their own lives. It became pretty damn clear what was going on.

In the interest of my recovery, I have decided to back off from the cooking portion of this challenge. It is too much of a leap for me at this time. Pairing this with the decluttering process is sending me into overdrive. It is causing my feelings of overwhelm to escalate and I believe this is why my eating disorder issues have become exacerbated in the past couple of weeks. It always comes back to this. When the intolerable feelings go up, I want to come in, tamp it down, control the food, and manipulate my body in order to gain a sense of containment for what feels completely unmanageable in my life.

I now understand why my eating disorder issues have been aggravated. In the past month or so, I have placed the focus back on food and my body size the deeper I travel into the emotional healing work. There has additionally been outside triggers fueling the eating disorder. Medical professionals have put me under a lot of pressure to address my health and when they say 'health', what they really mean, in no uncertain terms, is address my body size. This fuels my fear, pits me against my body, and throws me back into the disorder. I may start out with the best of intentions, but any manipulation around eating experiences to achieve a desired physical result, even one medically advised, triggers my eating disorder. No matter how well-meaning doctors believe their admonishments to reduce body size are, they must understand how harmful this focus is for those who struggle with eating disorder.

This experience has made it abundantly clear that I need to secure better support for myself as I go through this deep period of emotional release work. Knowing that I already feed myself in a very balanced, nourishing way, and that I enjoy this, I should view any desire to manipulate my eating experiences in the name of 'health' as a red flag. After all, I eat nutritiously. Treats make up a very reasonable part of my lifestyle. I know exactly what foods fuel my body and make me feel my best. I don't need to make any changes in this regard. The ED mentality found a clever way to manipulate my food experiences with this challenge in order to contain and control the painful emotions that have been surfacing in me. This is how ED serves me. This is the role eating disorder is playing in my life.

Do I need to cook more of my meals at home? Yes. Would this help improve my health? Absolutely. Will it also save me money? Most certainly. Can I only guarantee true food quality when preparing meals with my own two hands? Sure. Do I need to be so controlled with it that I never let myself eat out? Not by a long shot!

I agree with Barbara. She is a smart cookie. I'm glad I was willing to open myself up to the group and share the challenges I have been struggling with. Barbara helped me own the scenario I was creating... a situation where it would be easy to fall back into ED patterns.

I'm done focusing on food. I eat in a very balanced way when I am eating and that is the key. Simply because my body has yet to physically reflect this balanced relationship with food in a way that doctors or the world at large view as an indication of success doesn't mean squat. Maybe my body will never fit within the confines of society's view of what a 'healthy' body looks like. In our culture, thinness has been equated with health. This is a gross distortion of fact. All I do know for certain is that eating disorder breeds so much suffering in my life. If being out of the disorder means I need to be a thick mama... then so be it. I will not let doctors, or anyone else for that matter, continue to pressure me to look a certain way so they can be more comfortable with me. What is important is that I am comfortable with myself. It is time for me to stand up and be a personal advocate for my recovery.

I can allow room for flexibility in my approach. I am choosing to view eating out as a treat. As Barbara advised me, I should be able to look forward to going out to eat once or twice a week. Dining out cannot provide the foundation of a solid practice of self-care, but it does give me pleasure and enjoyment. I shouldn't have to go without.

I swear, I am always learning new things on this path. At least now when I hit snags, the duration I stay stuck lessens each go around. I'm also able to see what is blocking my path to recovery and switch things up so I feel better supported. For the time being, my focus with, "Project Me" will be on cooking at home more often, rather than making homemade meals an absolute condition. I will also continue in my decluttering efforts and give room for understanding that it is a process. I do not need to overhaul my entire life in one fell swoop. Lesson learned!

"The Big Fat Lie" May 2010 Community Focus

2010-05-03T18:03:00.000-07:00

This month our community focus is about clearing the clutter to allow more room for personal fulfillment. Clutter comes in many forms and it's not just about the extra stuff filling up your home. It is also about all the unnecessary things we cling to that are taking up residence in our minds, bodies and spirits, preventing us from moving forward. This month, take out the trash. Toss all that junk that is getting in between you and the life you deserve to live.

Mind:

Sometimes our minds can become so full of clutter. We find it hard to let go of our thoughts about all the things still needing to be crossed off our to-do lists. Stress is created when we flood our minds with concern about what tomorrow will bring, or continually mentally go over events that happened to us earlier in the day. In the stillness, we find peace and relief.

Begin a nightly practice of emptying your mind of cares and concerns by starting a, "Take Out The Trash" journal. Let this journal become the space where you deposit all the garbage at the end of the day. Let it all go. Whatever worries, concerns, or stresses are occupying your thoughts can be emptied in the journal. It's easy to become entangled in the stress to the extent that it almost feels like a part of you. It can become difficult to hear your own voice above all the noise of mental chatter. It helps to get it out of your system and onto paper. It allows a fresh perspective to come in.

Write in your journal in a free-form style. This isn't about composing a compelling writing piece. It is literally about allowing your stream of thought to be emptied so you can find some solace at the end of the day. Gripe, bitch, moan and groan all you want. No one is going to judge you. Let it come out raw and uncensored. This is your private space to clear out the trash so you can let it go and get back in touch with you. Make a deal with yourself that once you have finished writing in your journal you are done stressing for the day. Signal this to your subconscious with a symbolic act. After you've had a chance to take out all the mental trash and have read your entry, rip the page out of your journal, crumple it up or tear it to shreds and throw it in the garbage bin. You'll be amazed at the en-lightening effect this has.

Body:

What is getting in the way of providing yourself with consistent self-care? When we notice imbalanced behaviors developing it is time to engage in the most basic self-care. This is particularly relevant for those in recovery from eating disorder. What is basic self-care? What does this look like?

Basic Self-Care Is...

Making sure you get enough quality sleep.
Feeding yourself a variety of nourishing foods, consistently.
Tending to personal hygiene and grooming, i.e., bathing, combing hair, brushing teeth, etc.
Managing stress with meditation, yoga, time spent outdoors in the fresh air, therapy sessions, listening to music that soothes you, connecting with a friend for a walk, journaling, etc.
Getting daily exercise that you enjoy.
Making sure you have support from others and in your environment through, support groups, social connection, and spirituality.

How do we recognize that we are dancing close to the edge, about to lose our balance? By paying attention to the warning signs and clearing the way to engage in a practice of the most basic self-care. What signs show up when we are letting our needs slip?

Red Flags...

Staying up into the wee hours of the night. Inevitably, this causes the quality and quantity of sleep to decline.
Depression: Feelings of hopelessness or despair. Can't even muster the energy or desire to provide yourself with the most basic self-care.
Popping Pills: Sleeping pills, laxatives, diuretics, weight-loss supplements, excessive intake of stimulants like caffeine from coffee and soda, abusing alcohol or drugs, taking meal replacement shakes instead of providing yourself with a real meal.
Feeling resentful because all of your energy is going out and nothing is coming back in. The surfacing of issues such as, co-dependency and caretaking of others to the extent that your own needs go unmet.
Irritability, moodiness, and hostility.
Isolation and withdrawal from social interaction.

Take an honest look at the physical state your life and health are in. Do you feel supported? Do you have a solid practice of self-care in place? If not, what's getting in the way and what do you need to do to better support yourself? Maybe there is so much chaos in your home that it acts as a distraction and prevents you from focusing on what needs to be addressed in your life. Perhaps you are over-extended with obligations and are so exhausted at the end of the day that you feel there is no time left for you to take care of yourself. Then again, if you are dealing with an issue like eating disorder, depression, or anxiety, you may be lacking the help you need from therapy or support groups. Be truthful with yourself. Acknowledge where you are stuck so you can begin to move forward. Take the steps you need to take to declutter your life so your basic self-care is non-negotiable. Immediately get back to addressing your needs so the imbalance does not take on a life of its own. Show up and act on your own behalf.

Spirit:

Work with the, "When One Door Closes, Another Opens" exercise to clear the emotional clutter that is blocking you from living your authentic life.

Feel Your Connection to Nature:

With all of this clearing work, it is important to refill your cup. Nature, nurtures. The natural world is such a powerful healer. Allow yourself to receive the healing, grounding energy of the natural world that is all around you. This month, make it a daily practice to spend some time outdoors in contemplation. Perhaps you could go to a private spot and watch the sunset or sunrise each day. Commune with nature. Think about your life and the issues before you. Ask from your heart for nature to renew you... to give you clarity, guidance, healing energy, direction... whatever you feel you are in most need of at this time. Then sit and allow yourself to receive. Be open to the experience and honor whatever comes forward. Allow yourself to feel the healing power of nature.

When we were children, we weren't so questioning. We didn't require so many explanations. See if you can let go of the reasoning mind for this moment in time. Allow your wild, intuitive nature to take over when you come into contact with the natural world. Keep your judgments in check and give yourself the opportunity to receive whatever gift nature has to offer you. It can be a deeply enriching experience.

When One Door Closes, Another Opens... An Exercise to Manifest Your Authentic Life

2010-05-03T15:21:00.000-07:00

The following exercise is a result of a collaborative effort between Joe and myself. Considering that you are all familiar with me, I thought I'd introduce you to Joe. Joe is a member of our community. He is actively involved both here at, "The Big Fat Lie" and at, "Through Thick and Thin". Through an awakening, Joe has been called to be of service and to bring his healing contribution forward in the world. He has started a wonderful blog to chronicle his experiences...

http://centerofthespirit.blogspot.com/

A few days ago, Joe posted an intriguing exercise on the, "Through Thick and Thin" community forum. I will share Joe's post with you now...

"I have come up with something that has really helped me not just with eating but with many areas of life. See, the subconscious mind really likes stories and metaphor. It will really start to feel like what you are telling it is the truth. So much so, that as you continue to tell yourself the same story over and over again it literally becomes fused into your mind. There is also a metaphysical and scientific idea that whatever you think about and focus on becomes your life. Basically, that we are creating our own reality. So, what's the point of telling you all of this?

Well, I have an idea for you to try to help keep your mind focused on what you want to create. Simply write a story about you. Write it in the 3rd person. Write it as though you are telling some one else your story. The key is to not focus on the dramas of the past. You have to let go of all of the crap you have been living with thus far when you are writing this story. It should be about exactly who you want to be and how you see your life.

It doesn't have to be overly long. It can be a couple of pages. Just be as descriptive and simple as possible. Describe how you see yourself in all aspects, (mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually). Talk about what kind of job you are doing. How you are dealing with others and how they are dealing with you. Describe what type of financial or love life etc. that you want. Have fun with it and write it from your heart and spirit. Try to keep your rational mind out of it as much as possible.

Then the task is to read the story every morning. When you wake up read the story to yourself as a ritual. Every time you feel depressed, feel like binging etc, read the story. You can also edit it as circumstances change or as you wish to add more detail to it. I think that you will be surprised at how things start changing around you. At first it will be subtle but as time goes on you may find that your life is more like the story than you thought possible.

Trust me it really works!"

I loved this exercise Joe presented and was eager to implement this practice in my life. I have done plenty of affirmation and intention work for many years. I have seen some benefit from this practice, but always felt a little blocked. It's something I haven't really been able to put my finger on. I thought perhaps writing out the story of the life I wish to create as if it already were, may have a more convincing effect on my subconscious. This sparked an interesting conversation between me and a dear friend. We talked about Joe's exercise and then elaborated on the original concept. What we arrived at is a way to heal the past, while holding the vision for the future. I will now share what I posted in response to Joe on the forum...

"Hi Joe,

I wanted to add something to this discussion. I was talking to a good friend of mine this morning and sharing your exercise with her. It sparked an interesting dialogue between the two of us and we thought of a way to take this exercise a step further that I wanted to share with you and the community.

I think feeding the vision of the life we want to live is essential when it comes to healing and most certainly for those in recovery from ED. In fact, in eating disorder therapy, this is something that is really emphasized... the need to create a vision for the life you want to live. Eating disorder therapy also involves the necessary healing work of clearing the past, and finding a path to forgiveness of self and others.

As my friend and I were discussing your exercise this morning and talking about what an empowering practice we thought it would be, she said, "Now, what if you combine this exercise with a practice of rewriting stories from your past? With the past energy cleared, the new story will more readily take root." That made a lot of sense to me.

She's in human services and shared something she learned in her training where you draw up a timeline of your life, dividing it into 10 year increments beginning from birth, to the age you are presently. For each decade, you mark on the timeline significant life events, both positive and negative/traumatic in nature. Once your timeline is completed, you are able to spot certain patterns... the ways that our history/herstory intertwines with our present. Many patterns are repeated through a lifetime and can relate to past negative experiences and traumas that were not fully grieved, mourned, shed, and released.

She then suggested going through your timeline and picking several very significant events... things that really changed you as a person, or molded your life view. The focus would be on events that are negative/traumatic in nature. She then said, "What if you rewrote those story lines and took a difficult situation but revised it in such a way that would allow you to find peace with the experience so you can release it and let it go?"

I'll give you an example that we discussed. Let's say that you had a falling out with a parent and this created a rift between the two of you that remains unhealed to this day. Surely, there are things that both of you could have handled differently. However, when we feel wounded, often all we can see is our pain... our point of view. Let's say the rift was caused by an argument where the two of you both saw things very differently and you haven't spoken since. In fact, it has been years since the two of you have had a conversation. This has greatly impacted you and created a limiting energy that prevents you from moving forward in certain areas of your life.

I think this happens a lot. I believe that intention is powerful. I believe that it is important to hold a clear vision of the life you want to create. I also believe it is important to clear the clutter of the past so there is room for that new vision to become a reality. Otherwise, our perceptions, beliefs, and deeply ingrained expectations can cloud the waters and make for murky manifestation. It is important to be present and sometimes, being present involves addressing the past in the now so you can be free and clear to move forward unobstructed.

What if you rewrote the story of this argument with your parent that created the rift and really came from the heart and your soul as you described? Describe the situation from a higher vantage point. In this retelling, say the things you wished you had said and hear the things from your parent you wished you had heard. What if in the retelling you wrote a story where you both could come to understand the situation through the other's eyes and came to a place of peace and acceptance with each other? If you read this story to yourself daily, how would that shift your life experience? Would it have a healing effect on this situation that has troubled you for so long, even if it was a sense of peace awakening within your own heart?

Now, after doing this healing work, how much more potent would your exercise to call in your highest life vision be? I have a feeling it would be immensely powerful!

My friend and I were talking about how you could take this one past situation at a time, working with the issues that have greatly impacted you, while simultaneously working with the exercise you created Joe. How cool is that?! We thought it was pretty cool and felt it could have a very life-enhancing effect. I think I am going to combine this rewriting of a past story with your approach and see what happens. I already have a few issues in mind that I would like to do some release work around.

I just wanted to share this with you. It would be quite a potent community challenge to combine these two processes together. As you said Joe, our minds respond to story and metaphor. Why would this not have the same effect in rewriting the stories of the past? I would love to hear your thoughts on this. It sparked a really interesting conversation between me and my friend... took us to some wild places. My curiosity is peaked, so I definitely want to explore this."

From the marrying of these two concepts has come a comprehensive healing practice to find peace and closure with the past so space can be freed to allow the new vision of the life you want to live to enter. Sometimes people avoid healing the past and taking steps toward forgiveness. They would rather wipe their hands clean of yesterday and be done with it. I can certainly understand the desire to never look back and keep on, keepin' on. I have spent a lifetime doing just that, figuring that nothing can erase what has been done, so why bother addressing those issues? However, I have come to be aware of what a defense mechanism this has been for me.

We always hear the concept of the present being our point of power. I agree that this holds true. We are either here now, or we are nowhere. However, making peace with the past can be a necessary step in fostering presence. Doing healing work on past situations does not imply that you are stuck, living in yesteryear. Many misunderstand what true presence is really about. It is not about living in denial and putting on blinders. Sometimes, to be present you have to own your past and take steps to heal former issues in the now.

I'm actually excited to work with both aspects of this exercise. In my personal experience with affirmation work I have found marginal success in focusing on the future with positive intention. However, I stress marginal because there always seems to come a point in the process where I hit a brick wall. I believe this wall is built brick by brick with deep-held beliefs, conditioning, and expectations about what we are able to receive out of life based on past experiences. I agree that when it comes to the past, what's done is done. However, you can't just drop the past like a bad habit and think that it has no effect on who you are today. Those past experiences color your present life and indeed, your future. For example, let's say you wanted to create an abundant life, particularly in the area of your career and finances. If you grew up in poverty, how effectively do you think you would be able to call in this abundance? Surely, growing up poor has given you some powerful life experiences that have formulated your view of abundance and your ability to receive. These conditioned beliefs about abundance will act as a limiting factor that does not allow intention work to be completely effective. In order to manifest the life you envision for your future, you have to clear and resolve the energy of the past. The past after all, is foundational in who you are as a person.

The person you are today springs from the past and the experiences you have been through. This includes both positive and limiting aspects of yourself. A great book to read on this topic is, "You Can Heal Your Life", By, Louise L. Hay....

You Can Heal Your Life

Louise was diagnosed with cancer. She was told that she didn't have much time to live and that she would be required to go through extensive chemotherapy if she hoped to have any chance at survival. Something awoke in Louise when she received this dismal diagnoses. She got a solid intuitive hit that the reason she developed cancer was because she was holding onto resentment related to her past. It is interesting to note that many cancer patients have made this connection... that something is eating away at them emotionally and needs to be addressed before the cancer can be healed. This may sound like a rather airy-fairy concept to some, but there has been extensive research into the area of the mind-body connection. What has been established is that there appears to be a link between what the mind believes and how the body responds physically. You can find quite a few powerful stories out there about this.

Louise L. Hay began to work with affirmation, positive intention, and visualization. She went without traditional medical treatment because she firmly believed if she could release the resentment that she was carrying from the past, come to a place of forgiveness, and hold positive intentions of her future self, healed and whole, she would be able to release her condition of cancer. That is exactly what she did. She was considered a medical miracle. However, she remains adamant that her recovery was the direct result of releasing the power the past had over her by making peace with it, while simultaneously holding a firm vision of the life she wanted to live.

I have unresolved issues from my past. It's true that I can't go back and change what happened, but I can reclaim my power by giving myself a voice. I think it's important that our voice is heard. We all need that validation. We all deserve to say our peace.

Sometimes, we encounter experiences that we feel unable to address. We lack the emotional readiness to delve into certain areas, especially when pain is involved in order to work through the difficulty and find resolution. I personally have encountered situations that were too painful for me to deal with at the time. In reactiveness, I shut down, disconnected, and turned to eating disorder in order to survive and keep going. Above all, in times of crisis we will move toward self-preservation, even if those means of coping are not balanced or truly supportive. Those unresolved issues are like open wounds. I carry them with me to do this day. Those past issues affect me in the now. When past memories surface of times I have been tested to my core I can feel the intensity of the emotion as if it just happened. All the years that have passed do not create distance in terms of my feelings. Emotionally, I'm transported to that still frame in time. Nothing has been released or resolved. Those past experiences continue to play a role in my life to this day.

My past will always be a part of me. It cannot be erased or blotted from my soul. However, I do not need to fall into victimization by playing the blame game and clinging to anger, bitterness, and resentment. I know everything that happened in my past is exactly as it was meant to be. Yes... even the painful moments. My past is the culmination of the woman I am today. However, I believe I will not fully step into my power and reclaim my life until I find a path to peace with yesterday's experiences. I may not have been able to deal with those traumas then, but I am strong enough to face them now. This, in its purest essence, is presence. Presence is when you have the willingness to show up, feel, and consciously engage in your life experience... all of it... past, present, and future.

The forgiveness and release work I am currently doing around my past is a gift I give to myself. It sets me free. It allows me to shed the shackles of the past, redefining my beliefs and expectations about receiving. I believe that as I continue to clear the past, much like Louise L. Hay, I will be able to call in my future because I have created the emotional space to let it in. The way will no longer be blocked and barred by the self-imposed limitations of the beliefs I developed through my past experiences.

For this reason, I am eager to write both the stories of my past and future. Personally, I feel that releasing the past, and coming to a space within of peace and forgiveness will be absolutely key if I hope to create a life that fulfills me. I also know it will be essential in my recovery from eating disorder.

I believe rewriting the story of the past in tandem with creating our story for the future may be the missing link. I have never used these concepts in tandem so I have no idea what the end result will be. I am curious to explore this exercise though and see what comes up.

This month, I encourage you to do the same. As Joe suggested, write up the story of your future life. Set your intention for where you want to go. It is always helpful to have a destination in mind when setting out on any journey. The story of your future self can act as a road map. As Joe said, there is always room for detours too. Often when we begin shifting and evolving, our desires change. Where you are looking to be in this moment may turn into an entirely different arriving point as you go through your healing process. Keep your options open and know that nothing is written in stone. You always have the power to revise your story. Use this story of the future you to reinforce your vision at times in your life when you are struggling, feel insecure, or a dealing with eating disorder issues. This will have an empowering influence and remind you that challenges are temporary. You always have the power to direct your course away from what isn't working for you, toward a future that will fulfill you.

Simultaneously, drawn up your life line and pinpoint those significant life experiences that led you to where you are currently. Notice if you see any patterns. Do certain scenarios seem to crop up consistently throughout your life? This is not a coincidence. This is the direct result of your past conditioning and likely relates to issues where you may need resolution and closure. This doesn't make you a failure or a victim. We all have our stuff and we also have the power to create healing for ourselves. When we are willing to go there, own our lives, and show up on our behalf to do the deeper work, we are present. We reclaim our power and shed the limitations of the past like an old skin.

Pick one story from your past to rewrite. Let your voice be heard. You deserve to have your say in this matter. As a daily ritual, begin first by reading the retelling of your past story. Honor whatever feelings surface through this process. Hold space for the emotions to come. Then read your future story. This is a powerful statement... an extremely affirming act. Quite literally, you are saying, "I am willing to heal the past and let it go so I can welcome in the new and all the good seeking to find me."

I will share my experience with this exercise and the effect it has on my life. I also look forward to connecting with others who take up this challenge. I would love to hear about your experiences working with this exercise. Feel free to share with the community the way this practice creates openings in your life and heart.

Project Me - My Home... A template for my intentions

2010-04-30T15:40:00.000-07:00

Looking around my home, one thing has become abundantly clear. I'm overwhelmed. Obviously, I cannot dive into this decluttering process without having a plan. Oh... did I mention that having a plan, some type of schedule, and a little accountability is something that has been hitting me over the head like a ton of bricks lately? Cue roll of the eyes. Rather than approach this in willy-nilly fashion, I felt I should consider what new energy I'm looking to call into my life. I want to lay out the welcome mat by having my home serve as a template that invites in new beginnings, opportunities, and fresh experiences.

I have considered the purpose of each room in my home and how it can better serve me in manifesting my desires for newness. Some of the questions I asked myself to determine the intention of each room were...

What need in my life will this room fulfill?

How can this space support me in bettering my self-care?

What activities do I want to enjoy in this room?

What kind of vibe am I looking to create in this space?

How do I want to feel when I spend time here?

What life statement am I making with this room?

How can this space better support me in pursuing my dreams and in manifesting the new vision I am creating for my life?

I know... sounds a little deep for some house tidying, but this is no surface cleaning. I'm getting down to the nitty-gritty with this project. Here's what I've conjured up...

Living Room:

This is a multi-functional room. It's where I put my feet up, relax, and unwind at the end of a long day. It's also where I have my home office. When you live in an apartment, you don't often have the luxury of creating a separate office space. You have to maximize the room you have available.

In one word, I want my living room to be 'cozy'. I like the idea of throws and lush pillows to nestle in. I also envision lots of candles. I love the softness of candlelight. The warm glow of a flame has a way of soothing my frazzled nerves. This is the first room you enter upon walking through my front door, so the vibe is very important. I want the space to be welcoming and inviting. It needs to be comfy. This space is all about chillin', maxin' and relaxin'. I see myself reading, lounging, napping, socializing, and creatively playing in this room.

Since the living room is the entryway into my home, I would like to establish an altar near the doorway to serve as a place of spiritual reflection. I think it would be wonderful to have this altar as a communal space to focus intentions, helping household members call abundance and blessings into their lives. It will also serve as a reminder of the people and things that are truly meaningful to us, fostering gratitude for the many ways we have already been blessed. This creates an expansive consciousness which frees up more room for the good in life to enter. It will set the tone for the entire home.

I plan on keeping the center of the living room open and clear. I would like a place to be able to roll out my mat and do some yoga, or turn on some tunes and dance. I also enjoy crafting. I've been wanting to explore jewelery-making for awhile. I even have an idea for a line of necklaces, but I've never created a space to explore this interest. If I store my craft supplies in the living room, this desire will stay in the forefront of my mind. I have a fold-out table that I currently keep in the garage that could be set up as a crafting/art station. I would love to be able to create a permanent space for this in the living room rather than dragging out the table and going through a set-up process every time I get the urge to be creative. I can see how very easily that could set me up for procrastination. The challenge is that I have limited space to work with. I don't want to overwhelm the space with too much stuff. I want maintain an openness about the room. However, there may be a way to re-work the space by moving around furniture, or donating pieces that no longer serve the intention of the room, to make a permanent crafting/art space a reality. I get excited when I think of this so I believe I should try my darnedest to make that happen.

As far as my corner office is concerned, (I mean that quite literally... my office space is in the corner of the living room) I need more organization and efficiency. I have organizational tools such as filing systems, dry erase boards, and such that are not being put to good use. I would like to change that to help my work flow a little smoother. At this time, if I need a number I have to search frantically through a drawer crammed full of miscellaneous papers. It's a real headache! I can feel my stress levels go up just thinking about it. Since I don't take advantage of my organizational tools, I have to keep track of all my business appointments, deadlines, and important calls in this little ol' noggin of mine. As you can imagine, my mental space is pretty cluttered. Every inch of my brain is occupied by a running to-do list. No wonder I have trouble getting to sleep at night! I'm also working toward a major career goal at this time. I would like my office space to include motivational symbols that will continue to inspire me to reach for the sky.

One thing is for certain. I no longer want to eat in the living room. I've gotten in the habit of plopping down in front of the TV to nosh mindlessly. I'm using this behavior to cope with stress. This certainly is not doing my health any favors. It's also robbing me of experiencing the true pleasure of my meals. Half the time, I barely taste what I am eating. This is the one activity I want to eliminate from this space. I have given up eating in front of the tube before and it made a world of difference. I then started to question if it was necessary to avoid eating in front of the TV when others began to share their personal opinions on the topic. It seems that many feel they can be mindful while eating in front of the television or surfing the web. I decided to experiment with this and see if it would be possible for me to eat in these situations while continuing to be aware. The result has been dismal. This simply doesn't work for me. Plus, it is interesting to note that scientific studies have established that people who dine in front of the television absorb considerably less nutrients from their meals than those who eat without distraction. There's a little food for thought to chew on. I found this rather fascinating myself. The living room is going to become a no-food zone.

Dining Room:

This is simple. I only want one thing in this room and that is the dining table. When in this space, I want to be reminded of the importance of deeply nourishing myself. I wish to create a soothing ambiance that promotes mindfulness. I like the idea of having a candle on the table that I light before every meal as a signal to take time to slow down, invite consciousness in, and receive nurturing. I also want to adorn the table with fresh flowers regularly to enhance the beauty of the space. It would be great to have a table that is free and clear of all the papers, junk mail and such that are currently burying its surface so I can sit down, enjoy my meals, and have a place to gather with loved ones to share the events of the day.

Kitchen:

Considering the challenge I have put before myself... to cook all my meals at home for the next 30 days... I need this space to be organized, efficient, and well-stocked with the basic staples needed for recipes. I also need to have all of my cooking tools easily accessible. The counters need to be kept clear for food prep. I want to cover a large portion of the counter space with cutting board surfaces to make chopping veggies a cinch. Then, all I have to do is wipe down the surface for quick and easy clean-up. This will encourage me to eat more produce. I also want to make full use of my storage containers. I plan to recycle old glass jars by labeling them and using them to store bulk items like rice, dry beans, and pasta. It makes sense to devote a cupboard to storage supplies. This way, I can cook up large batches of recipes and create my own whole foods grab and go meals. Tupperware containers are great for storing meals in the freezer and this will help me make a health-supporting choice on busy nights when I feel I don't have time to cook a proper meal. I can just reheat one I have already made ahead of time.

It is important to me that the foods I stock in my refrigerator and pantry reflect my intention to honor my health. It is my desire to make nutritious eating the convenient option. I realize that I have the power to do this. It is all about how I choose to set up my kitchen space. As I clean and organize this room of my home I will ask myself the following questions...

Does this space encourage me to feed my body in a health-supporting way?

Is it easy to cook in this kitchen?

Do I have a storage system in place that allows me to see the food I have available at a quick glance?

Do I have easy access to storage containers and cooking tools that will allow me to do batch cooking in order to prepare healthful, convenient meals ahead of time to fall back on when life gets busy?

Additionally, I want to have some kind of posting board in the kitchen to plan menus, create grocery lists, and also to establish a cleaning schedule so once the house is in order, it can be maintained by all members of the household.

Garage:

This is a multi-functional room in the home. At least, that was the original intention. It has since become a cluttered storage space. Although, I will say that the neighbors got a look in our garage and were rather impressed. We were even asked if we might want to help them organize their garage. I'll take that as a sign that this space hasn't gotten too out of control... yet. What really matters is how I feel in this part of the home. Right now, I don't enjoy venturing into this space.

Part of the garage is going to be a dance studio/gym. I want to mount a large mirror on the wall so I can check my form when working out or dancing. Currently, there is too much equipment in this room gathering dust. I've started to chip away at clearing out some of the excess by selling the treadmill and exercise bike. The elliptical trainer was also recently broken down. There is still more that needs to head out the door. I have lots of exercise equipment that I have absolutely no use for. I don't need much now that I've gotten in touch with the types of movement I really enjoy. Most of the activities I feel drawn to don't require any equipment. As a result, what I currently have is just taking up space. Again, I am looking to create openness in this area of the garage so I have room to move about freely.

Another area of the garage is devoted to a workshop. This is where all the tools and woodworking supplies are stored. For the most part, it is fairly organized. Where I see the clutter is in too many 'planned' projects. The area is littered with items that need repair, or parts that are supposed to be used for some future purpose. Really, all this stuff is just taking up room. Some items have been lingering for years untouched. It's time to clear out the excess and design this area for efficiency and accessibility. Since there is so much stuff being squirreled away in this space, I don't even have access to the large filing cabinets where various tools and holiday decorations are stored. Before I can pull out something I need, I have to remove a wall of stuff that is blocking the way. It is a hassle. I want to change that.

The final area of the garage is reserved for laundry and recycling. This space is pretty well organized. I would like to move the clothes hamper out of the bedroom and into the laundry area. I have an issue with tossing clothes on the floor. It's a bad habit I've had since I was a teenager. Once the hamper becomes full in the bedroom, I often start to pile clothes on top of it, which then spill over onto the floor and end up eventually taking over the whole room. Embarrassing, but true. If I move the hamper out to the garage, I can develop a new habit of taking dirty clothes immediately out to the laundry area, keeping the bedroom nice and neat. This is my hope.

The Storage Closet:

This is the area of the home where we store cleaning supplies and linens. It works very well for that purpose. This room is also organized, for the most part. There is a little excess that needs to be cleaned out, but not much. This will be the easiest room to deal with.

The Bedroom:

Hands-down this is the most daunting room in the house. Whenever company comes over, I make sure that the bedroom door is shut... tight. I don't want anyone to see the disarrayed state this room is in . It is a hot mess! Picture your average teenager's bedroom and you will have a good idea what this space looks like. There's just a bunch of crap everywhere. Clothes are strewn about the floor. The bookcases and bedside tables are covered in a mountain of stuff. I have bags from shopping trips filled with newly purchased items that haven't been touched since I brought them home. Heck, I don't even know what's in half of those bags anymore. I'm not quite sure what I will find once I start wading through them. This is embarrassing because it's such wasteful behavior. The bed is usually unmade. I'm very unhappy with the current state of my bedroom. I dread spending time there and something strikes me as terribly wrong with that. I'm sure I will stir up some emotional shit when I clear this space. It's definitely the monster in my closet. This is the room I have chosen to begin my decluttering, cleaning, and organizing efforts. There is a reason for selecting this room as the starting point.

I always tend to focus on the rooms others will see first when I set out to clean the house. Often, excess will get cleared from the front areas of the home only to find its way back into the bedroom where it can be hid like a dirty little secret in the closet. I habitually do things to please others and thought I'd switch that up a bit. What if I decided to put my needs first? I'm trying to change my whole approach to life. I view making my bedroom first priority as a symbolic act of establishing my self-care as non-negotiable.

This is a room I will spend a large portion of my life in. It is where I am supposed to be able to let down my guard, rest, and renew. It is my private space to sleep and have sex. It is where I set my intention at the beginning of each day and put down my cares and concerns at the end of the night. At least, it should be. Sadly, my bedroom is not currently living up to this vision. I figured I would start with this room because if I can get some of these basic needs met, it will have nothing but a beneficial effect on the rest of my life. I'm working with the trickle down theory.

I want the vibe of this room to be relaxing, grounding, and sensual. I have a bedside table that I would like to set up with a small stereo and headphones so I can take a time out during the day and listen to one of Jennifer Polle's hypnosis CD's. "Clearing Emotional Blocks" is a great one. If you haven't experienced Jennifer's work, you may want to check out this hypnosis session. It effectively clears out the emotional clutter...

Clearing Emotional Blocks: Hypnosis/Meditation CD

I also like the idea of taking full advantage of my extensive library of relaxation CD's as I drift off in sweet slumber. I have a bookcase in the bedroom that I want to use as my personal altar. Throughout my life, I have always had an altar in my bedroom, that is, until the past few years. This is a focal point for my intention, connection with spirit, and my soul's purpose. I have experienced an inner void since deleting my altar from my personal space. I'm currently working on a vision board to help hone-in my vision on the life I wish to create for myself. I plan on incorporating this vision board into my altar. I want to have a place where I can focus my life-energy at the start of the day through meditation, affirmation, and connection with my spiritual source.

The time has also come to go through my bedroom closet and sort through all of my clothes. With the change in seasons, I need to store away all of my cold weather apparel and pull out clothing from the garage for the warmer months ahead. Additionally, it's important that everything hanging in my closet fits my current body, flatters me, and makes me feel my best. If my closet is full of clothing that doesn't fit, it makes me feel crappy. It also eats up a lot of time. A great deal of energy is wasted trying on outfit after outfit, attempting to find a way to pull myself together. Wouldn't it be great to open the closet and know that every single item hanging fits like a glove and showcases my best features? I think so! I want to create that kind of wardrobe for myself. It will support me in the healing work I am doing around body-image.

I don't want to over-complicate this space. My intention is to lighten up the energy in this room by clearing out the busy, stress-producing elements. Next week, I will be posting before and after shots of my bedroom to show off everything I've accomplished.

The Bathroom:

This is the final room in my home. It is also the second space I will be focusing my attention. I envision the bathroom as a place of self-care which is why I want to make it the next priority in line after the bedroom is addressed. This is the other room that embarrasses me. It needs some serious work. There is so much clutter in this room, mainly occupying every available inch of the sink counter. There are all kinds of toiletries that I haven't used in years crammed into the cabinets. The whole room is sorely in need of a deep scrubbing.

I want my bathroom to have an ocean theme and heavily feature mermaids. The ocean is very special to me. It is my sanctuary. When I need to realign myself, I visit the sea. It would be nice to create a reflection of that in my home. I see the bathroom as my space to indulge in some serious pampering. I want to create a vanity at the sink where I can get myself ready each day and have all my perfumes, body potions, and pampering treats readily available for use. I would also like to create an ideal ambiance for soaking by adding some candles to the decor, along with a place to store yummy bath salts and oils.

I always feel so much better when I make my pampering a priority. I have no shame. I'm a girly-girl. I relish a self-massage with a deliciously-scented aromatherapy oil. I love to lavish myself with beauty treatments. It's a way for me to honor the goddess within... to remind myself that my body and being are sacred. To me, daily pampering is like performing a body blessing. I look forward to having my bathroom reflect this intention.

As you can see, I've really thought about my space and how it can help me address the areas where I feel unfulfilled in my life. I'm excited to get this project underway and also a little nervous. There is a small voice inside telling me that there is more than meets the eye with this process. I anticipate that I am going to get a whole lot more than I bargained for out of this experience. I have a feeling that all the stuff I have been clinging to has been serving a purpose. I believe it has acted as a distraction, preventing me from honestly acknowledging what's been emotionally missing in my life. Inevitably, as I recognize the ways I feel unfulfilled, I'm going to have to make some important changes. That feels a little intimidating. I think I have become rather comfortable and complacent with the status quo. I also know that I am not living up to my full potential, or living the life I deserve. I'm no longer content to settle. Naturally, this will create a fair amount of upheaval, as well as personal revelation. Although I can sense some nervousness around this, I am ready to leap because I cannot put my happiness on hold a moment longer. It's either stay safe and stay stuck, or take a risk to venture on a different path with all of the uncertainty that entails and see what opens up in my life. My choice has been made. Here's to new beginnings!

Project Me

2010-04-22T17:50:00.000-07:00

Lately, I have been taking an honest look at my life. I have a very full life. The only problem is, it's full of too much of what I don't want... too much stress, too much stuff, too many worries, too many deadlines, too much debt. I'm not quite sure how it got to be so out of hand. I only know that it isn't working for me anymore. Now, I could sit here and feel sorry for myself... pity party for one please... but that would only lead to too much depression and what good would that do? I'm already stuck. The last thing I need to do is sink myself into a sweet funk.

Certainly all of this excess of what I don't want is breeding an undercurrent of drama in my life and drama provides an excellent distraction. Instead of focusing my energy on taking steps to create the life I want to live I can engage in the drama and that frees me from a hell of a lot of responsibility. It is, after all, all-consuming. The drama requires every bit of my attention to maintain its status quo in my life. Now why the heck would I want to maintain the drama? Why do any of us? And we do... make no mistake about it. Our entire culture thrives off drama. You tell me that reality TV, tabloid headlines and the cult of celebrity aren't the new pornography and I will eat my words. Rather than addressing our own problems, we get caught up in everyone else's. How do we get sucked in? Why do we feed the drama? I have a hunch.

If we are so busy focusing on the drama we never have the opportunity to recognize how utterly unfulfilled we are. We never have to experience the discomfort of questioning our motives and taking steps to affect change in our lives. We provide ourselves with an out. Instead of taking ownership of our lives and responsibility for our personal fulfillment and happiness, we can make the drama the scapegoat. Surely, we could have all we dream of if only there wasn't all this stuff in the way. Woe is me... I have so much stacked against me... why even bother? What a pretty shade of pity that is.

I think part of the problem is our fixation on convenience and instant gratification. We have forgotten the value of rolling up our sleeves, digging in and doing the work necessary to create the life we long to live. No one is going to hand us our fulfillment on a silver platter. We have to be willing to take an honest look at ourselves and understand why we want to stay stuck. Yes... you read right. I said why we want to stay stuck. Now, when I point that finger, I have one pointing directly back at me. Everywhere I look around me, I see my stuckness. I have barricaded my life with a wall of excess that makes it difficult to move forward. Notice I didn't say impossible. I merely stated the inconvenience of the proposition.

I think I have finally come to the point where I have gotten over myself. Even I'm tired of hearing my excuses. I'm ready to get on with it. It's unacceptable that I find my own home inhospitable. Everywhere I look I see clutter. It feels overwhelming. I'm not welcomed in my own home and I created that atmosphere. I've successfully crowded myself out of my own life. In fact, I try to avoid being at home at all cost and believe me, it costs a lot. Since I don't have room to cook in my kitchen I predominantly dine out. This is adversely affecting my health and causing my debt to skyrocket. I want to dance and have intended to set aside room in the garage for a studio where I can practice in between classes but the space has been crammed full of useless stuff... so I don't dance. I also don't get much exercise because quite literally, I don't have room for it in my life. My stress levels are high. I know that relaxation is a must if I am to feel my best and be effective in my life but how can I possibly relax when everything in my personal environment feels so suffocating? I can barely breathe, let alone let go and unwind.

It's a vicious cycle that feeds upon itself. As my self-care slips, my life becomes more chaotic. As the chaos takes over, I feel more overwhelmed. The more overwhelmed I feel, the more my eating disorder issues become exacerbated and on and on we go on this merry-go-round. The imbalance has reached a critical mass and it's going to take a big push to get over this hurdle. In response, I have decided to commit to a personal challenge. Beginning next week, I am going to stop settling and start expecting a little more out of myself. I'm going to think outside the box and push through my comfort zones. For 30 days I will embark on a challenge to take my home and my life back. Peter Walsh inspired me to make this bold move. His book, "It's All Too Much" made me realize how I have been holding myself back from living the life I deserve. I highly recommend the read to anyone facing similar challenges...

It's All Too Much: An Easy Plan for Living a Richer Life with Less Stuff

I am dubbing my 30 day challenge, "Project Me". This challenge involves clearing out the excess from my life so I can make room for more of what I want and less of what I don't. Room by room I am going to go through my home with a fine-toothed comb, cleaning and organizing... setting up my space so it supports me in moving in the direction of my dreams. I am also going to stop the bleeding of excess spending and take back the intimate act of nourishing myself by preparing all of my meals at home. That's right folks... no meals out and that includes my usual double white mocha from the local coffeehouse. I want to see what happens when I stop bitching about what isn't working and actually do something about it.

I think these are two areas that many Americans struggle with and thought it would make an interesting blog project. I'm going to share the entire experience... all of it. I will post before and after pictures of my living space and decluttering efforts. I will track how much money I save by cooking my meals at home. I will share my progress and also the difficulties I encounter along the way so you can benefit from my trials and errors. I'll let you in on the tips I discover that help make such a proposition easier and more convenient. I also imagine that some hidden emotional stuff will come up to be cleared as I work my way through this challenge. I will be candid with the emotional process, as well.

I would love to connect with others who are ready to take this challenge themselves. It would be great to come together as a community and support one another in bettering our lives. I think we can learn a lot from this experience and through sharing our stories with each other.

"Project Me" kicks off next week... GULP. Look for future blogs to come.

Word!

2010-04-16T00:01:00.000-07:00

- Alton Brown

This is a quote from chef, Alton Brown. I thought the discerning followers of, "The Big Fat Lie" project would appreciate his simplistic, to the point sentiment...

"I just saw the movie “Super Size Me” and I have to say that I liked it. It was fun, irreverent filmmaking on a shoestring and it’s good to know that filmmakers can still pull that sort of thing off.

What shocked me about the movie wasn’t what it said. Heck I already knew most of that stuff. What shocked me were the gasps I heard from the audience, most of whom seemed generally surprised that big business could be so…well…businesslike.

Here’s what it comes down to, kids. Ronald McDonald doesn’t give a damn about you. Neither does that little minx Wendy or any of the other icons of drivethroughdom. And you know what, they’re not supposed to. They’re businesses doing what businesses do. They don’t love you. They are not going to laugh with you on your birthdays, or hold you when you’re sick and sad. They won’t be with you when you graduate, when your children are born or when you die. You will be with you and your family and friends will be with you. And, if you’re any kind of human being, you will be there for them. And you know what, you and your family and friends are supposed to provide you with nourishment too. That’s right folks, feeding someone is an act of caring. We will always be fed best by those that care, be it ourselves or the aforementioned friends and family.

We are fat and sick and dying because we have handed a basic, fundamental and intimate function of life over to corporations. We choose to value our nourishment so little that we entrust it to strangers. We hand our lives over to big companies and then drag them to court when the deal goes bad. This is insanity.

Feed yourselves.
Feed your loved ones.
And for God’s sake, feed your children.

Don’t trust anyone else to do it…not anyone. I’m not saying that you shouldn’t go out to dinner every now and then…that is after all one of the great joys of life…but it isn’t life itself and that’s what I’m talking about.

Is McDonald's food bad for you? What do you think? Does that mean you shouldn’t eat it? No, it just means you shouldn’t live on it or anything else made by someone you wouldn’t hug.

Burgers don’t kill people.
People kill people.
Don’t be one of them."

"The Big Fat Lie" April 2010 Focus

2010-04-01T15:03:00.001-07:00

Mind:

Chef, Jamie Oliver, is on a mission to help Americans eat better by shedding light on the underbelly of the 'Big Food' industry. In particular, he is trying to change the way schools feed our children. His educational program, "Jamie Oliver's Food Revolution" airs Fridays at 9:00 pm/8:00 pm central on ABC. Tune in this month to gain the benefit of the important message being shared in this quality program. To learn more about Jamie Oliver's mission check out the official, "Food Revolution" website where you can do your part to get involved today:

http://www.jamieoliver.com/campaigns/jamies-food-revolution

Body:

When was the last time you indulged in a little pampering? Every body benefits from some TLC. This month, make the commitment to show your body a little love each day. Whip up a yummy face mask from ingredients in your fridge. Take the time to give yourself a full-body massage with an intoxicating smelling oil after stepping out of the shower. Grant yourself the bliss of a cat-nap in the middle of a stressful day. Love on your body and watch your appreciation grow.

Spirit:

We all need time and space to reconnect with ourselves. When we tune in we tap into the essence of our true natures. It can be difficult to reconnect when we are constantly distracted by life's demands and the needs of others. This month make it a priority to secure yourself some alone time. It is when we are by ourselves that we can hear the murmurings of our souls. We gain access to our needs and longings. We find our sense of meaning and purpose tucked away in the space of those still, quiet moments. Carve out some time to be alone with yourself. Give your spirit the opportunity to come forward and direct your course.

Feel Your Connection to Nature:

April 22nd is the 40th anniversary of Earth Day. From April 17-18th join in the efforts of millions of people around the world by participating in one of the volunteer actions as part of the Global Days of Service. To find out what events are planned in your community, check out the official Earth Day site:

http://www.earthday.org/

Be sure to take some time on Earth Day to think about changes you and your family can make to help preserve our natural resources for future generations to come.

Building a Bridge from ED to Intuitive Eating, Part 7: Finding the Balance... My experience

2010-03-18T16:38:00.000-07:00

Three weeks ago the, "Building a Bridge" series was launched at, "The Big Fat Lie" and "Through Thick and Thin" sites. I have been applying this approach alongside other members of our community with phenomenal results. Before I get into describing my experience with this approach, I want to take a moment to congratulate all of you who decided to give your body the gift of this care and compassion. If you have applied this approach as outlined, you are likely feeling quite a bit different than you did just three short weeks ago. If you have had anything close to the experience I have had, you have learned that food is powerful medicine.

I gained so many insights from this experience. I learned a lot about my relationship with food and my body... many elements I was completely unaware of before. Since beginning my healing process, this is single-handedly the most loving, nurturing act I have ever carried out for myself. It has also had the greatest impact in terms of my health and well-being, physically, mentally, emotionally, and yes... even spiritually. I am now on the road to wholeness. I have a newfound appreciation and respect for the gift of my body. I feel a bit like Dorothy in, 'The Wizard of Oz'. "Toto... I don't think we're in Kansas anymore." In fact, I have no point of reference for the space I find myself in now. All I know is that it feels damn good to arrive here. I haven't felt this level of vitality in over 19 years!

I realized through this experience that I have been chronically under-eating for the large majority of my life. My signals were so skewed when I first came to intuitive eating that I falsely believed I was honoring my hunger and feeding myself in a nourishing way. Boy, were my perceptions off! My body has been in a depleted, compromised, under-nourished state. This hit me hard when I first started to implement the, "Building a Bridge" approach.

First of all, I found the minimal amount a food a person needs to eat to be well-nourished absolutely staggering. I had no idea how I was going to manage eating all of that food. I almost couldn't wrap my mind around it. It seemed overwhelming to me. However, I chose to enter into this experience with a fervent desire to learn how to provide my body with the best possible care. I have never respected my body, let alone offered it the benefit of my love and attention. I felt I owed my body at least this dignity after all the years of neglect it has suffered through. A lifetime of physical self-abuse has taken its toll.

I do not want to give the impression that all my issues are now resolved. There are no magical cures. Our healing requires our commitment and the willingness to sometimes work through uncomfortable patches. The damage eating disorder has done to my body is very real. I have extensive repair work before me. However, I would be lying if I were to say the, "Building a Bridge" approach didn't change my life. It has completely altered my relationship with food in a positive way. I now have a very different experience of living in this body of mine. There is true healing taking root. The "Building a Bridge" approach has had a more transformational effect on me than intuitive eating itself.

It took me about a week to adjust to feeling fullness in my body. It was a foreign experience for me that in the beginning stages caused my anxiety to rise. This anxiety caught me off-guard. I wasn't used to feeling the nurturing warmth in my belly. It felt utterly alien to have the sensation of food sitting in my stomach. Strangely, it dawned on me that this feeling of nurturance was the source of my anxiousness. This alone provided me with plenty of fertile emotional ground to explore. Where did I develop this fear of fullness and nourishment in my life? How has this fear impacted other areas of my life... my relationships, the way I move through the world, my ability to be aware of my needs and get those needs met? I found so many connecting threads when I opened the door to explore this uncharted emotional territory. It helped clarify why I have had this contentious relationship with food and my body. I came to see the symbolism of these struggles. It lifted the veil on a whole new dimension of my life experience. Yes... all this from feeling fullness.

The meals felt quite large to me in the beginning. Remember, I was used to existing in a semi-starved state. A lone fruit smoothie could have held me over for hours on end just three weeks ago... or so I thought. Now when I sit down for breakfast that fruit smoothie is paired with scrambled eggs and a whole grain pancake. My ED mind felt this was so much food. Too much, in fact. How could I possibly eat all of this? ED put up a fight and resisted. As much as possible, I stayed out of my head throughout this process and continued to gently remind myself that I was doing repair work. This was self-care. A way of giving back to my body for all I had stripped from it. I became fully in-bodied, experiencing the unknown territory of true nourishment. It was amazing... life-changing. It's something very difficult to articulate in words. It has to be directly contacted within yourself. It may seem odd that the rote act of eating could have such a profound effect. This experience moved me and shaped me in a way I could have never anticipated. I don't think I will ever look at food and my body the same way again and that is a blessing!

At first, I had to pace myself through my meals. I would feel the point when I would normally stop eating, at 'just satiated'. The pull to stop at 'just satiated' was very strong. I became conscious that I was afraid of feeling full. I patiently worked through it. I would take breaks midway through my meal. When I felt ready to eat a little more, I would do so. I used this pacing approach to finish the food before me. Tuning into my body, I was able to discern my fullness. It felt unusual, a little awkward even, kind of like the first time you tried to walk in a pair of heels as a young girl. I also noticed that though it was an unfamiliar sensation, it was not physically uncomfortable in any way. This was completely revolutionary for me. My experience of food has always been one of extremes. I have perpetually bounced between starved/semi-starved, or sickly stuffed states. To be nourished and comfortably full was unlike anything I have ever felt inside my body before.

My body welcomed the care. Within a few days my hunger was kicking in and demanding this new level of nutrition. My fear that I would not be able to eat the minimum amount of food required for my basic nourishment was completely unfounded. My body was 100% on board and continued to request this nutrition. Not only did I eat three substantial meals and two snacks every day over the past three weeks, there were also some days I needed to throw a third snack in! This blew my mind! By week two, I was completely out of my head when it came to food. I simply had no need to think about it anymore since my basic needs were being met.

Food has returned to its proper place in my life. I now see food in a completely different way. Food is fuel. It's what keeps my body running and humming. When it's time to eat I now consider what is going to provide my body with the best quality fuel. I continue to enjoy dessert just about every day. I have always had a sweet tooth. However, since I now have sound nutrition in place, I only need a small amount to feel satisfied. A couple mini peppermint patties, or a single scoop of ice cream is more than enough to provide a pleasurable end to my dinner. Sometimes, I don't even desire dessert and find it's the last thing on my mind. This amazes me! I never imagined this could be possible, but it is my new reality. I also continue to enjoy other treats like a handful of chips, or a few fries, but really, I find nourishing food far more pleasurable. Not only do the nutritious foods taste wonderful, they also make my body feel incredible. To me, that is a win-win situation. I love everything I eat. I prepare nourishing foods in ways I find deeply satisfying and oh-so yummy. I have also discovered that the more fruits and veggies I eat, the more my body calls for them. My relationship with food is in balance for the first time in my entire life. No deprivation. No restriction. Eating is now an absolute delight. The added bonus is that my health is rapidly on the mend.

It has been almost three months since I have engaged in any eating disorder behavior. My energy levels are through the roof. I have not had this much vitality since I was 18 years old! I now understand that all these years of unrelenting fatigue were related to not eating enough quality carbohydrates. I have been to countless medical appointments over the years in an effort to address what had been diagnosed as chronic fatigue syndrome. Who knew all I needed to do to restore my energy was to eat enough carbohydrates? It seems so elementary... a no-brainer... but for me this was mind-boggling.

My blood sugar has stabilized, along with my blood pressure. I was shocked when my blood pressure registered 116/68 at a doctor's visit a week ago. Considering that at one point my blood pressure was sitting at 146/70 makes this improvement quite impressive. My mood has also lifted. I feel optimistic and generally happy. My stress levels have gone way down. I feel reconnected with my body in a way I have never experienced before. For the first time, I feel like me and my body are on the same page. I suppose that has everything to do with finally taking the time to actually listen to my body and address it's needs.

Over the past few days I have been shifting back to natural eating according to my body's signals. This transition has been completely different than it was when I first began to incorporate the intuitive eating approach about 4 years ago. I feel that this time, I am coming into this experience with a solid foundation under my feet. That alone, is making all the difference. My hunger signals are coming through like clockwork every 3-3 1/2 hours. I continue to eat three substantial meals and 2-3 snacks a day because my body is asking for that level of nourishment. I also feel a lot more satisfied when I get up from the table because instead of eating to 'just satiated' as recommended in the, "Intuitive Eating" book, I am eating until I am comfortably full. This one change alone has made an incredible difference. It has eliminated the cravings that used to be constant for me in the evening. I think the most important piece I take away from this experience is how necessary it is for our bodies to be properly nourished with a wide variety of foods and how essential it is to feel completely satisfied.

The final post in this series is going to outline how to transition from the, "Building a Bridge" plan to natural eating according to bodily signals. I strongly encourage you to give yourself at least 3 weeks on the plan for nutritional rehabilitation before transitioning into intuitive eating. If you try to take short-cuts with this, you are really only short-changing yourself. To rush this process along is to cheat yourself of it's life-enhancing effects.

Conversely, if you continue to feel disconnected from your bodily signals, you may need more than three weeks on the plan. Withhold judgment if you find this is the case in your situation. Every body is different. It may take a little more time for your signals to come forward and your body to recalibrate. There is nothing 'wrong' with this. It doesn't mean you could have done anything better. It only clearly points to how much you are in need of this nutritional rebalancing. Once your signals of hunger seem to be coming through fairly consistently you can begin to transition into natural eating.

We all heal at our own pace. There is no rush to get to an imagined finish line. All pressure with this process is self-created. Give your body the space it needs to find its equilibrium. This is one of the kindest acts you can engage in after years of inflicting your body with abuse. Practice patience. If you are not yet ready to transition from the plan, accept this. Rest assured that your body will let you know loud and clear when you are ready to move forward.

Building a Bridge from ED to Intuitive Eating, Part 8: Nature's Perfection... The way you were born to eat

2010-03-18T16:35:00.000-07:00

As promised, we are now going to gently guide ourselves back into a natural pattern of eating according to bodily signals of hunger and fullness. Now that a solid nutritional foundation is in place and a sense of balance has been restored, the transition into natural, instinctive eating can be carried out with a sense of ease. For those who have attempted to grasp intuitive eating in the past but found it a struggle, you will discover that you feel more supported this time around.

If you have applied the approach that has been outlined in the, "Building a Bridge" series over the past three weeks, your body has been led closer to a state of equilibrium. Physically, you feel nurtured. You have greater clarity. Your mood is lighter and clearer. You have likely noticed that the signals of hunger that eluded you in the past are now coming through consistently like clockwork. As you take these first steps to trust your body and its communication, you do so from a new foundation. What once seemed complicated will now become easy to integrate. Finally out of your head and into your body, you will simply eat. It is an amazingly freeing experience.

Much like the first phase of this approach, there is a three week transitional period. Certain elements will remain in place as a life practice of self-care. In reality, the act of eating can never be a totally intuitive experience. For a state of balance to be fostered it is necessary to blend intuition with common sense. To try to divorce one from the other is to create division within yourself. It's like rejecting part of your natural makeup. This is largely why so many intuitive approaches fail. It is also the reason fad diets mire us in the over-thinking that disconnects us from our bodily wisdom. There needs to be a marriage of common sense with intuition in order for balance to take root.

Just as you can't cut yourself off at the head and have a totally 'heady' experience, you also can't disconnect from that beautiful brain of yours. Otherwise, chaos would reign. There would be people worldwide taking long walks off short planks and wondering how they landed themselves in such hot water. In the book, "Health At Every Size", By, Linda Bacon, PhD, there is reference to the experience of cavemen. Somehow they managed to survive without best-selling diet books, nutritionists, and 'experts' to guide them in their eating practices. This is because the act of eating is a biological event. It is hardwired into our genetic makeup. It doesn't require an instruction manual. However, if those same cavemen didn't also rely on common sense they never would have survived the ravages of winter. After bringing home the bounty of the hunt they may have been tempted to wolf down their lion's share, but they understood intellectually that they may not come across such bounty so readily in the future. Game was portioned and preserved to help the tribe survive during lean times. It is clear to see that we need to use all of our faculties when it comes to our self-care.

Another point that bears mentioning is that our current climate of convenience is a far cry from what it was even 50 years ago. There have been a lot of changes in the way we produce food, along with our current ease of access. We have more food availability and options now than at any point in history. As a species, we are evolving. Our bodies adapt to their environmental circumstances. However, in terms of genetic evolution, 50 years is a mere drop in the bucket. We have not adapted physiologically to the factory produced foods that grace most Americans tables.

Back when our parents were kids, dining out was a special event, not a regular thing. Meals were cooked at home and were balanced. Fruits and vegetables regularly found their way to the table. Foods were closer to the source, not so highly processed. People sat down to eat and used meal time as an opportunity for connection with their loved ones. They weren't eating on the run, shoving food in their mouths as they rushed out the door, or chowing down absentmindedly in the car on the way to work. They weren't using food as anesthesia, zoning out in front of the TV with seemingly bottomless bags of man-made snacks engineered to make their taste buds crave more. Mom made treats for movie watching in her own kitchen. She served up wholesome goodies like homemade cookies, freshly popped popcorn, or a batch of her famous brownies.

There is also another distinct difference between the way we live now and yesteryear. There were no video games back in the day. Computers had yet to take center stage. TV viewing was limited. People got out and about more. They connected with others. They found pleasure in more social activities. Kids didn't plop down in front of the tube and waste their days away. They were outside riding their bikes, building tree forts and having outdoor adventures. Dances were a popular social pastime. People moved more. Without all the modern trappings, people had to get up and do things for themselves.

The reason why we are seeing such a decline in our health has everything to do with the way our environment has shifted, along with the damaging message of the diet industry. The spin doctors of these corporations want you to be confused. Their wallets grow fatter the more confusion prevails. You have been programmed to believe that eating is complicated and that you need a trained 'expert' or the latest 'it' diet to guide you in one of the most intimate affairs... the nurturing of your body. The truth is, eating is simple. You were born to eat in a natural, uncomplicated way, but industry doesn't want you to know this because it would affect their profits. This is why 'Big Food', the beauty myth and the diet industry will set you up for failure every time. It's nothing more than a numbers game for these snake oil purveyors. They care nothing about you or your well-being.

It is impossible to look at our current state of health without considering the environment we are living in. Again, our common sense has to come into play. To try to discard this aspect is to muddy the waters.

When you were an infant, you didn't pull out a measuring cup to portion yourself out a serving of your mother's breast milk. You also didn't concern yourself with how that milk was going to affect your body size. You ate because you were hungry and your body demanded that fuel. Without it, you would perish. When you look at it this way, it seems completely asinine. However, in kitchens worldwide millions of people feel completely lost when it comes to feeding themselves. Make no mistake. It is not an accident. This is calculated confusion.

We were never meant to eat this way. We aren't designed to waste away. We are built to survive. Our bodies will resist us tooth and nail in our vain attempt to whittle ourselves to a size that will fit in the cookie cutter mold of the prevailing beauty ideal. Rather than blaming our bodies we need to recognize that they are responding appropriately. Our bodies are doing their job. In fact, the so-called 'obesity epidemic' is largely fueled by propaganda carefully planted by industries who stand to profit from our fear. Our expanding waistlines are our natural survival reaction to existing in the climate of semi-starvation that diets have created along with a reliance on foods that our great grandmothers wouldn't even be able to recognize. What we have here is a case of wag the dog. If we all believe that our lives are in danger because of our body size and we bear the brunt of the blame, won't there be an increase in demand for the quick fix promise of a diet? After all, according to media we are the ones who have dropped the ball. The overwhelming message is that we can't be trusted and need to rely on the professionals to resolve this crisis in the state of our nation's health. Corporations are well aware of the power of fear-based marketing. Here is the truth. We need to eat to thrive and well at that. It's time to stop putting the focus on body size and instead direct our attention where it really counts... on our health.

That's where the, "Building a Bridge" series comes in. In a very real sense, this has been a reeducation. We had to unlearn all the messages the diet industry has filtered through to us via the media. Now that we understand how to nurture our bodies well we can return to the way we were born to eat.

It will be important to continue to have breakfast, lunch and dinner every day. If you are not eating these three meals, you are under-eating and doing biological harm to your body that will prevent you from restoring health. I encourage you to continue to eat your breakfast within an hour of rising. This simply makes common sense. Why work against your body when you can get your day off to a solid start? Continue to be mindful of the composition of your meals as outlined in the preceding installments of this series. A balanced meal will include quality carbohydrates, protein and produce. If you have any questions about this, review part 6 of the, "Building a Bridge" series. This portion of the presentation boiled down balanced nutrition to its purest, most accessible form. Snacks will now be optional. If you become hungry in-between meals, it makes sense to have a snack. In fact, it's helpful to always have a small, portable snack on your person such as a grab bag of nuts and dried fruit, trail mix, a granola bar, or other quick and easy fuel that won't spoil. This way, if you get caught in a pinch and your hunger catches you off-guard, you are prepared.

You will no longer be planning the timing of your meals with the exception of breakfast. It truly is the most important meal of the day, especially when an individual has a history of eating disorder. Skipping breakfast leaves the gateway open for ED behavior to enter. In order to prevent this backlash it is essential to start your day with some nourishment.

For three weeks you are going to utilize a technique that will help you adjust to listening to your bodily cues to guide your eating experiences. When you are done eating breakfast, note what time it is. Add five hours to this finish time and log the result in your journal. For example, let's say you finished eating breakfast at 8:30 am. Adding five hours to this time would give you a time of 1:30 pm. You would write 1:30 pm in your journal as a reminder to eat by this time if you have not felt your hunger kick in before then. The reason for this is that you should avoid going for more than five hours without food. At that point, all the food from your previous meal is long gone. You need to nourish your body with fuel so you don't become depleted or court blood sugar fluctuations. Every time you eat, note your finish time and add five hours, then logging the result in your journal. This will ensure that you continue to take care of your basic needs if your hunger signals remain a little foggy.

You will only need to employ this reminder technique for three weeks. Within that period of time, you will fall into your own individual rhythm and pattern with your hunger signals. There will no longer be a need to remind yourself to eat. It will be automatic. If you think about it, it's pretty exciting to consider that in only three more short weeks you will be back to eating in a completely natural body-driven way. You will simply eat. Consider this helpful tool the training wheels that will prepare you to ride free.

Another element that will come into play at this point is paying attention to your fullness. Throughout the nutritional rehabilitation period you likely experienced a reality check about the bare minimum amount of food your body needs in order to function optimally. I know this was a very awakening part of the experience for me and probably the aspect that had the greatest healing impact. Coincidentally, you are now going to be ahead of the game. Your body has recalibrated and your sense of fullness is going to be more clear to you than it was in the past. If you continue to have a little fuzziness in this area, simply try to inject more awareness into your eating experiences. Pay attention to the sensations in your body when eating. True fullness will leave you with a warmth in your belly. You will be able to feel the food in your stomach. There will be a sense of substance there. You will know you have found the groove when you feel completely satisfied and content after your meal.

If you happen to overeat a little in these beginning stages of listening to your body be patient with yourself. Try not to over-emotionalize the experience. It really is no big deal. Since you will now be eating when you are hungry, your body will balance it out. You may find your appetite is held over a little longer when you overeat. You might be used to having your hunger come forward about every three hours. A meal overeaten will likely hold you over for a bit longer than usual, edging you closer to that five hour mark. Your body will make the necessary adjustments if you allow it to lead the way. There is no need for guilt or worry.

At the end of these next three weeks take a moment to acknowledge all the progress you have made. You are now a natural eater and can get on with the rest of your life. Congratulations!

"The Big Fat Lie" March 2010 Focus

2010-03-04T21:30:00.000-08:00

Mind:

Learn about composting. See if this is something you can integrate into your life. Do some online research or check out a book at your local library and read up on the topic. This is a wonderful way to recycle what would normally get tossed in the trash and put it to good use.

Body:

Make an effort to buy organic when selecting produce that ranks on the top 12 list of the worst pesticide offenders. Reduce your exposure to potentially toxic chemicals.
Blow out the cobwebs from winter by taking your exercise outdoors. Take full advantage of the warming spring weather to breathe some fresh air into your fitness.

Spirit:

Make a soundtrack for your healing path. Put together a CD that will inspire you on your journey toward wholeness. Select songs that give you a sense of hope and that you find personally meaningful. Listen to your soundtrack often to infuse positive energy into your experience.
Invite breath into your emotional space to break free bound feelings so they can be expressed and released.

Feel Your Connection to Nature:

Get your green thumb on by planting a vegetable or herb garden. Whether you have lofty visions of raised beds or are taking your first stab at gardening by growing a few humble herbs on your windowsill, be part of the natural cycle that brings food from field to table.

Fresh Seasonal Spring Offerings

2010-03-04T20:59:00.000-08:00

Spring has sprung and has ushered in a wider variety of fresh seasonal fruits and veggies for our enjoyment. Having this kind of selection is like a breath of fresh air! Make some room on your plate for the great produce available this season. Be sure to bring a bouquet of spring blooms into your home to invite a splash of color and cheerfulness into your world.

Spring Seasonal Veggies (March-April-May)

Artichokes
Asparagus
Belgian endive
Broccoli
Butter lettuce
Chayote squash
Cherimoya
Chives
Collard greens
Corn
English peas
Fava beans
Fennel
Green beans
Morel mushrooms
Mustard greens
Pea pods
Ramps
Rhubarb
Snow peas
Sorrel
Spinach
Spring baby lettuce
Sugar snap peas
Swiss chard
Vidalia onions
Watercress

Spring Seasonal Fruits (March-April-May)

Apricots
Honeydew
Mango
Oranges
Limes
Lychee
Pineapple
Strawberries

Spring Seasonal Blooms (March-April-May)

Agapanthus
Amaryllis
Anemone
Birds of Paradise
Cherry blossom
Daffodil
Dahlia
Freesia
Heather
Hyacinth
Orchids
Peony
Rose
Sweet Pea
Tulip
Zinnia

Organic Matters

2010-03-04T20:56:00.000-08:00

Spring is the perfect time for us to begin thinking of introducing more organic foods to our table. There are many reasons why choosing organic has value. If you want to protect the earth's resources it just makes sense to purchase organic, whenever possible. This is often a decision that stems from our deepest values. Organic produce is pesticide-free. This is noteworthy because pesticides have a negative impact on the quality of our soil and water. This also naturally affects wildlife.

Factory farming is heavily reliant on the production of genetically modified crops. There has been little research conducted in the area of GMO's. We aren't clear about what the long-term health implications may be of consuming these man-altered foods. We largely remain in the dark when it comes to GMO's. Until we see the impact these foods are going to have on our health and the environment, many in the fields of science and nutrition feel it may be in our best interest to not jump on the genetically modified bandwagon. In fact, since the induction of GMO's into our food supply there has been an escalating rise in incidence of food allergy. The issue doesn't become any clearer with the so-called 'experts' completely divided on this topic. While some believe that GMO's are playing a part in the increase in food allergies, others claim this statement has no basis in fact. The great debate rages on and meanwhile, the American public are ingesting foods on a regular basis that in truth, we know little about.

Purchasing organic is a show of financial support for farmers who are more fairly compensated by growing organic crops. The pittance farmers earn producing government subsidized crops like corn is disgraceful. By supporting organic farmers we ensure that we will have a wider variety of foods to choose from when going to the grocery store. In fact, there has been a revival of heirloom crops within the organic farming community. It is important that we preserve the availability of these foods for the sake of biodiversity.

The verdict is still out on whether or not organic foods are actually healthier for us. With the current information available the decision to buy organic has more to do with how you feel about certain social and environmental issues than it does with building a healthier body. However, tests conducted by the USDA have confirmed washing commercial produce does little to remove pesticides. The residues linger behind on the fruits and veggies that you and your family eat. Considering that pesticides are another murky area and we aren't sure what the long-term impact of ingesting these chemical agents will be, it makes sense to be mindful of which commercially grown fruits and vegetables you are willing to put in your shopping cart.

This information is being presented for your personal knowledge and awareness. I think it is unrealistic to expect that an individual is going to be able to switch to all organic food choices overnight. We tend to approach changes in such an all or nothing manner in our culture. It makes sense to integrate changes slowly so you can look to your internal compass and feel out what is a fit for you in your life. The message at, "The Big Fat Lie" is one of personal empowerment. We want you to start questioning advertisements. We want you to begin to lift the veil on the pretty package that 'Big Food' is peddling. What does the content really look like when you get behind the slick advertising campaigns and media hype? No one knows what is better for your body than you. Our mission is merely to share information. It is up to you how you choose to apply what you learn.

Since we don't believe in diving headfirst into making life changes, we are going to kick off our spring focus by dipping our toes into the organic pool. We'll start simply by addressing which fruits and vegetables are important to purchase organic in order to reduce your exposure to pesticides. We are sharing the biggest pesticide offenders out of respect for those of you who may be on tighter budgets. After all, it costs more to produce organic crops. The production cost hikes are passed on to you when you head to the supermarket. It makes sense to share which conventional produce selections you can get away with purchasing in order to save you some cash.

I do want to share a little insight though on how our consumer dollars can have an impact and subsequently drive down the prices of organic foods so they can be affordable for everyone, indiscriminate of economic bracket. I live in the San Francisco North Bay Area in the heart of the Wine Country. People are passionate about whole foods and organics in these parts. In fact, the SLOW food movement is pressing forward full-steam ahead in my corner of the world. It is common for people in this area to purchase local whenever possible and to put money back into the hands of community farmers. In Sonoma County there is a major chain grocery store, Oliver's Market. They feature a wide variety of foods, both factory and organically produced. Since the consumers in this area largely favor organic produce, it has lowered the profit margin between organic and conventionally produced fruits and vegetables. In essence, the price of organics has been driven down to the extent that there is little cost variance between organic and factory farmed produce. The margin has become so slim in fact, that Oliver's Market is considering going all organic with their produce section. Now that is consumer power in action!

While I recognize that not everyone may currently be able to afford organic foods, if those of us who can shell out the cash did our part, we could help lower the cost of these wholesome foods for everyone. We can collectively change the world by pitching in and doing what we can. It sounds idealistic, but it's true. Small changes lead to major results. I share this story to illustrate that we do have the power to create a shift in our current food climate. If we each had a sense of personal responsibility to do our part, lasting change would become our new reality. Our dollars are the vote that counts the most in this consumer-driven society. Keep that in mind the next time you are at the grocery store. Even if you can only pick up one or two organic items, you are doing your part to make a difference. We can take our power back from the media and 'Big Food' corporations... one bite at a time.

Fruits and Vegetables Containing the Highest Level of Pesticides

*Buy organic whenever possible.

Celery
Spinach
Potatoes
Bell peppers
Nectarines
Pears
Peaches
Apples
Cherries
Strawberries
Imported grapes
Red raspberries

Want a side of ethylene oxide with your fresh strawberries and whipped cream? How about a generous dollop of para-dichlorobenzyne on that baked potato? Or would you rather enjoy a ripe juicy peach as nature intended? Pure and simple. No added fillers needed. The choice is yours.

How Does Your Garden Grow?

2010-03-04T20:52:00.000-08:00

The Maiden's First Blush

By, Shannon Elsom

Cherry blossoms blush

At the mere mention of spring

Like a smitten maid

Spring is upon us. Everywhere we look we see the first signs of life stirring after the cold of winter. The thaw brings on renewal. Nowhere is this more evident than in the plant and animal kingdom. We can feel the shift in seasons when we notice the first cherry blossoms bloom. Our ears pick up the quickening rhythm of life in the sounds of chirping birds and buzzing bees swirling about, tending to the day's busy work. The stark grayness of winter gives way to a colorful burst of fresh promising energy. We see the potential for rebirth as light reenters the world out of the safe womb of darkness. A lone blade of grass pushing its way through a crack in the sidewalk illustrates so simply the newness that is born out of what was once cold and barren. As the daffodils raise their cheerful faces toward the sun it reminds us to open ourselves to the warmth now entering the world. The new life blooming blossoms hope within us. We feel the beat of invigorated life and intuit the miracle of growth it brings.

One of the most intimate ways we can connect with the earth and her cycles is by planting a garden. By tending the soil and nurturing seedlings to full fruition we see the symbolism of our own soul's work. Many gardeners have experienced this sense of connection and seen the parallels between caring for their earthly gardens and nurturing the growth of spirit. Upon entering this movement of co-creation with nature, we come to understand that the earth is not a possession, but is actually part of us. Never do we experience this more directly than when we grow our own food. Cultivating a vegetable garden helps us foster an appreciation for the earth and the bounty she blesses us with. We develop gratitude for our meals understanding the many hands and forces of nature that must come together to put food on the table. This helps us develop a true appreciation for real food. Not lifeless food that is produced in some factory but food brimming with life-force, born from the soil we walk upon. When we nurture this level of respect for the earth and move in harmony with her cycles, we enter a sacred dance of partnership. In doing so, we value the gift of life. From this space, treating our bodies with love and honor becomes a natural response to experiencing the wonder of being a note within the symphony of life.

Not everyone has space for a grand garden. Truth is, you don't need to have a big plot of land to grow your own food. Many of us live in urban environments where putting in a large veggie patch is not really an option. However, there are many ways that we can creatively garden. It only requires a little willingness to think outside the box. Those who have limited yard space can have a container garden. Half a wine barrel can accommodate a variety of produce. Even city dwellers can have a windowsill garden where they grow their own cooking herbs. Of course, there are always green thumbs who look toward spring with excitement because it means they get to dig their hands in the dirt and renew the passion they had to put on ice during the cold winter months.

No matter where you are on the gardening scale, open yourself to growing some of your own food this spring. It's not hard to get started. All you need is a little planning and preparation. First of all, consider the space you have. This will greatly determine your overall garden plan. Decide if you have room to put in a raised bed. If space is limited you can opt for the convenience and ease of a container or windowsill garden. Also consider what kind of sunlight you will get consistently in your planting location. This is very important to factor in and will largely determine which crops you plant. Once you have outlined the space you have available and the growing conditions, it is time to plan your crops. What do you want to grow?

In creating your garden plan it is important to remember that it is best to wait for all threat of frost to pass before you put your summer producing crops in the ground. However, there are some hardy transplants that you can get started with in early spring beginning in the month of March. These hardier transplants are:

Lettuce
Collard greens
Kale
Cabbage
Broccoli
Globe artichokes
Kohl rabi
Bok choy
Chinese cabbage
Seed parsnips
Swiss chard
Garlic
Shallots

Hold off on your enthusiasm to put beets, carrots and potatoes in the ground. It's not that they won't make it when planted this early, but they will tend to thrive better if planted a little later into the spring season. If you are opting to grow a small windowsill herb garden the possibilities are endless because you have instant climate control. Parsley, basil, thyme and sage are good starters for those new to gardening. Once you feel more confident, you can expand your horizons by trying your green thumb at, rosemary, lavender, lemon balm, chervil, chamomile, cilantro... just about any herb you can think of can be grown indoors. Do remember when planning a windowsill garden that herbs need plenty of sunlight. You need a location that will provide at least a few hours of sunshine daily. It is also important to remember the balance of nature. Make sure you have blinds or a curtain that can be drawn. While herbs need plenty of light, more of a good thing is not necessarily better. You don't want to scorch delicate leaves. Be mindful of this during midday when the sun's rays are their strongest. Give your herbs a little break in the early afternoon so they don't get toasted. Also, be sure that herbs have good drainage. They don't take kindly to sitting in soggy soil. Of course, herbs will do very well outdoors too. You would take the same growing conditions into consideration.

Sometimes, it can seem overwhelming to try your hand at gardening if it is something completely new to you. In this case, I highly recommend you visit your local nursery and get yourself some starter plants rather than working from seed. It's also a good idea to connect with your local nursery if this is your first try at gardening because you will find plenty of helpful people ready and willing to answer any questions you may have. They can also help you select starters that will do well in your regional area. Each starter plant has a tag that includes very clear directions about the type of light the plant needs, which soil conditions it prefers and when it is best planted. It's helpful to rely on this information as you are learning the ropes. I also recommend utilizing your local library to check out books on gardening. You can find inspiration and clear directive in the pages of these simple guides, giving your confidence a boost.

The final element you want to consider is soil quality. Many people get overly wrapped up in worrying about fertilizing. It doesn't need to be that complicated. If you can get your hands on some quality compost your crops are sure to thrive. Most nurseries have compost available at reasonable prices. If you feel like really invoking your inner earth mama, you can do your own composting. It's not as difficult as people think it is. You can actually get started relatively easy and it's a wonderful way to recycle waste.

I personally compost and use an old plastic salad container to collect waste that I keep in the cabinet under my kitchen sink. When the container gets full, it is emptied into the compost bin out back. You can find affordable compost bins. There's no need for anything fancy. In fact, if you are in a pinch a simple garbage pail with a secured lid will do. You need to make sure to frequently turn over the contents in the bin manually with a shovel or sturdy rake if you decide to go this route. Additionally, you can find numerous resources online that will tell you how to build a bin from the ground up.

When first starting a compost bin, you want to work in layers, kind of like when you are building a lasagna. The first layer of your compost pile will contain organic materials like the ones listed below. The second layer will include manures or starters to help activate the initial heating of the compost pile. The pile is finished off with a final layer, (about 1-2 inches) of quality top soil. Within about two weeks, your compost pile will sit and stew. At this time, you can continue to add fresh ingredients to your pile by recycling your wastes into the bin. When you add new material, be sure to turn your pile and water it. A compost pile started in the early spring can be added to all the way up to late winter. By the time the following spring season rolls around you will have quality compost to nurture your new crops with. Ideally, you would turn your pile weekly, but realistically most gardeners only get to this task every month or so. This doesn't seem to have a compromising effect. The compost seems to do just fine.

So much of what we normally toss in the trash can be recycled. The following items can be composted:

Leaves/Grass clippings/Hay/Wood chips/Pine needles/Weeds/Wood ashes/Sawdust/Trimmings from houseplants/Garden soil/Flowers that have died/Straw/Broken-down cardboard
Paper napkins/Post-it notes/Paper towels/Old bills/Old newspapers (shredded)/Tissues/Q-tips (cardboard only, no plastic)/Wooden toothpicks/Pencil shavings/Brown paper bags/Envelopes
Veggies (note that corn cobs will break down slowly)/Fruits that have spoiled
Natural coffee filters/Burlap coffee bags/Coffee grounds/Tea bags
Pet hair/Leftovers from cleaning out the bird or Guinea pig cage/Feathers
Popcorn/Stale spices/Stale bread/Egg shells/Pasta/Nut shells/Moldy cheese/Expired yogurt/Shellfish shells/Oatmeal/Rice/Tofu/Wine that's headed south (you wouldn't want to waste perfectly good wine)/Spoiled Beer (check note on wine)/Cereal
Matches (paper or wood)
Worn-out leather gloves/Leather wallets/Cotton socks
Hair and nail clippings
Dryer lint

This is just a snapshot of what can be composted. It certainly doesn't cover the whole picture. Think of how much waste we could eliminate if we gave back to the earth what we normally toss in the trash so something new could grow from it. This is recycling at its finest. Composting allows us to directly experience the circle of life. It is a wonderful means to a thriving garden. It is also a great way to reduce waste and give back to the planet.

Try your hand at a veggie or herb garden this season. Whether you have grand gardening plans or your plot is small enough to fit on your windowsill really makes no difference. This is a way to reconnect with nature, develop an appreciation for the blessing of food and to honor the earth as a great provider. Get your green thumb on today and let it grow... let it grow.

Inspire Emotional Release Through Breath

2010-03-04T20:50:00.000-08:00

Inspire (in spi r') v. 10. to take air into the lungs in breathing; inhale. 11. Archaic a. to infuse (breath, life, etc.) by breathing (usually fol. by into) b. to breathe into or upon.

Many of us know the traditional definition of inspire; to produce or arouse; but we often forget about the archaic definition which means quite simply, to breathe into. The act of breathing itself is inspiration. Conscious breathing has the ability to connect us with our bodies and release emotions we are physically suppressing. So many of us hold our emotions so tightly in our bodies. Quite literally, we don't give these feelings any breathing room. We stuff down our emotions by disassociating and disconnecting. We each do this in different ways.

Some people use food or the avoidance of eating to disconnect from the feelings welling up inside of them. Others turn to substances like drugs and alcohol to numb out emotions that may feel too overwhelming to face. Some blind themselves to their inner realities with consumerism... shopping as a way to obtain material things to define worth and fill the void inside. We disconnect in a multitude of ways... tuning out with TV, the computer, video games, overwork, excessive exercise. In a very real sense we have moved away from an organic life experience toward a virtual reality. All of these means of coping are like slapping a band aid on a gaping wound. It doesn't stop the hemorrhaging... the bleeding out of our life force. The more we check out like this, the more our unaddressed feelings tend to build inside of us, creating pressure. This pressure leads to stress. That stress can impact our lives negatively on multiple levels.

Stress is the greatest factor in dis-ease. So much of our health and well-being relies on our ability to effectively manage our stress. Additionally, though we may think we are saving ourselves suffering by dropping the curtain on our emotions, we are actually breeding dysfunction which only further impacts our sense of discontent and lack of personal fulfillment. When we cut ourselves off at the head and sever ourselves from our bodies and emotions, those feelings remain. They haven't disappeared simply because we are not willing to look at them. As layer upon layer of unacknowledged emotion piles up on one another, our inner unrest reaches the boiling point. That pent-up energy must be released before we implode. Often this seeps out into our lives in damaging ways, affecting relationships, work, health, and our emotional/spiritual well-being.

It is very important that we hold space for all of our emotions, that we learn to invite our feelings in to sit for a spell and teach us something about ourselves. Most people resist emotional work because they feel like they have to figure it out, make it 'right' and possibly dredge up painful past memories that they would just assume leave behind in the dust of days gone by. This is a misconception. We don't have to sort out our feelings, categorize them, make sense of them, validate them, or even know where they originate from. There is a big difference between honoring our emotions and wallowing in feelings that can keep us stuck in life. Feeling our emotions does not mean we must convert to the 'religion' of martyrdom. It is about releasing what is weighing us down so we can build a bridge and get over it. It is when we cling so tightly to our emotions, blocking their expression, that we are keeping ourselves locked and bound by the shackles of the past. Feeling paves the road to freedom.

Sometimes when we open ourselves to feeling we make a distinct connection. We realize the emotion is related to some event in our lives that we didn't fully process and integrate, but this is not always the case. Sometimes, emotions surface and they seem to have no basis in rationality. They appear to spring up from nowhere. In those moments it is vital to trust that sometimes the body knows something we are unaware of. Our job isn't to 'fix' it, just to feel it. Feeling fully creates the necessary release that helps us move forward in our lives. It's not complicated and it doesn't require years of wading through emotional muck while lying on a psychiatrist's couch. In fact, the more we can be present and hold space for our feelings, the more easily they pass through us unencumbered. The sooner we get to get on with life. There is no way to avoid feeling. We are having a life experience and experience entails that we must feel.

How do we hold space for our emotions and reconnect when we are so used to checking out? The answer is quite simply, through inspiration. Through breathing, we become inspired and this facilitates the physical release that allows our bodies to surrender what they have been holding on to so tightly. It is amazing how releasing our emotions through breath can create so much space inside of us. There is a distinct broadening of our inner horizons when we allow our emotions expression through inspiration. It can be a powerful experience. We truly have the ability to heal and embody release simply by using our breath.

When we own our emotions we move away from reacting, toward responding. Reactiveness comes from an unaware space. When we are disconnected from our emotions we often move into reactiveness by blaming and judging, rather than by owning our feelings and expressing them in balanced ways. This only causes the divide to deepen and prevents us from moving forward in our lives and relationships. Reactions are impulsive. They are highly-charged. Our buttons get pushed and we head into blame mode because we want to make others/life situations 'wrong'. It is easier to disconnect through blaming than to come into direct contact with the intolerable feelings that get provoked by challenging situations and relationships. When we react, we give away our power. We come from a space of fear and defensiveness. This only creates more of what we don't want in our lives... isolation, disconnection, adversity, dysfunction.

Responding is quite different. It is recognizing in the moment that difficulty enters that there is a choice... to close ourselves off in reactiveness, remaining in our familiar comfort zone, or to move into a space of receptivity and understanding which opens the door to more meaning and personal growth. Responding comes from a secure space of authenticity and love. In order to respond, we have to be able to connect with our emotions while also respecting the feelings of others. If we can tune in the instant disruption enters, make contact with our feelings while also connecting with the feelings of others, we are opening ourselves to responding. Responding entails that we listen more, not only to ourselves, but to those around us. When we respond, we are stepping into our power. We are owning our emotions and relating to other's positions without feeling threatened. We understand that all feelings are valid and deserve respect and recognition, including those that run contrary to our own. We each deserve to have space held for our emotions. A balanced life is built on a foundation of responding, not reacting.

In order to come from a place of responding we need to learn how to feel fully. This requires us to come back into our bodies... to have an in-body experience. One of the easiest ways to do this is by connecting with our breath. The next time you find yourself moving into reactiveness... becoming mired in fear, anxiety, defensiveness, judgment, criticism or blame, take a moment to breathe.

First, locate where the feeling is in your body. Is it in your chest? Your belly? Your hands or feet? Once you discern where the feeling is in your body bring some awareness into that physical space. What does it feel like in your body where you are holding this emotion? Is it tight and constricting? Is it fluttering or trembling? Is it hot or cold? Full or empty? Does the feeling have a color? Really get into your body and get in touch. Once you have connected with the full scope of the feeling, begin to breathe into the location in your body where you are holding this sensation. Imagine your breath traveling inside that space, around it, above it and below it. Keep breathing into the area where your body is holding this feeling.

Sometimes we are physically constricting our emotions to the extent that we have cut off circulation, preventing nurturing energy from coming in. This is evident when the breath gets 'stuck' and is unable to reach the physical location in the body where the feeling is being held. This signals that there is something we are holding onto so very tightly. If we keep breathing into that tightness we can release the obstruction and allow our feelings to surface. The breath inspires and unlocks the feeling. Often, you will experience a physical sensation of release. This can manifest in many ways and will be different for each person. There is no 'wrong' way to experience this release. Trust what comes forward.

For some, the tears may begin to flow. Others may notice a shaking happening within, almost like a soul rattle dislodging years of pent-up emotion with its vibration. You may even notice that you release the feeling audibly through sighs, moans, or other sounds. Stay out of judgment. Don't bother trying to make sense of it. Let it be and trust in the body's wisdom to know exactly what you need for release.

You can use your breath to release any emotion. If you have a feeling of being cut-off from your inner world, take some time to come back into your body and breathe. Allow the inspiration to empower you so you can get clear on what your true needs are and can more effectively address your concerns. Feeling is healing. The more we can reconnect with ourselves, the more we move into response and find our entire beings coming into balance. Let yourself be inspired today.

Building a Bridge from ED to Intuitive Eating, Part 1

2010-02-26T10:09:00.000-08:00

“Most patients who are in the throes of anorexia nervosa, bulimia nervosa, or compulsive overeating have lost touch with their innate signals of hunger and fullness and taste preference. The physical starvation is often so grave in those who are suffering from anorexia nervosa that an attempt to listen to the signals of hunger or fullness can only lead to confusion and maintenance of the underfed state. If even the smallest amount of food is ingested, the slowed stomach emptying that occurs in anorexia pushes away signs of hunger and creates a false sense of fullness.”

“In the treatment of bingeing disorders, including bulimia, patients have become so accustomed to eating quantities of food that are larger than one’s normal needs that their interpretation of fullness is highly skewed. They so often have ignored hunger by eating for many other reasons, such as boredom, loneliness, anger, etc., that asking them to listen to hunger signals feels alien and frustrating. We begin, instead, by putting on our nutritionist caps and teaching them about normal body functioning, including the concept of blood sugar fluctuations and the body’s reaction to meals that are imbalanced or inadequate in terms of energy intake.”

“So, intuitive eating is best seen as the model of eating that will ultimately become one’s own. This happens after there has been a period of time for healing the body physically and shifting the cognitive distortions that rule the mind of someone who has developed an eating disorder as a coping mechanism.” – Excerpt from, “Intuitive Eating: A Revolutionary Program That Works”, By, Evelyn Tribole, M.S., R.D. and Elyse Resch, M.S., R.D., F.A.D.A.

“Hello… I’d like you to meet my frenemy, ED”

For a long time now I have felt like there was a piece of the puzzle missing in the ultimate design of intuitive eating. Something about the process felt off. Working as an intuitive eating counselor, I have seen far more people struggle to embrace the path of intuitive eating, than I have seen readily take to it. I have experienced difficulty myself and this is after four years of believing I was an intuitive eater. In order to paint a clear picture, it’s necessary to share the story of my struggles and those of the many people all over the globe who have crossed my path on this journey.

In October of 2009 I experienced a relapse of my eating disorder issues. I have a long history of eating disorder with the first signs emerging that something was wrong when I was 10 years old. By the time I was 12, ED had me firmly in it’s grasp. I battled anorexia and purging behavior off and on over a period of 12 years. I never received any kind of professional support for my eating disorder even in my most desperate state of crisis. At that point, I was 24 years old. My weight had plummeted to a dangerously low level. At a height of 5’7”, I was a slip of a woman, somewhere in the mid 80 lb. range. I have to guesstimate my low point because I had not stepped on a scale for about three weeks and at last weigh-in I registered a mere 92 lbs. My body continued to waste away after that step on the scale, so I think it is fair to say that I was well into the mid-80 lb. range. I was vomiting blood on a daily basis. I was isolated and alone, without the necessary support I needed. Many of my friends, feeling fearful and not understanding the gravity of the situation, turned their backs on me. The abandonment and rejection was almost more than I could bear. The intensity of the shame and humiliation I felt is beyond words. Somehow, in the darkness of that bleak space I was able to strike a match. That inner light, however small, illuminated the possibility of hope burning brightly in the distance. I reached for it with both hands like a moth drawn to a flame. I clawed my way out of that dark tunnel and nurtured myself back to some semblance of health. It would be many years before I would notice that ED was still hanging out in the background, lurking in the shadows of my consciousness.

I had a brief period of stabilization. Life felt good for awhile. I was out of the danger zone health-wise and things were looking up in my life. I finally found the courage to stand up for myself and leave behind abusive situations. I left a dead-end job in the dust and moved on to a new career as a therapeutic massage therapist, working alongside doctors, providing physical therapy for their patients. It felt deeply rewarding to be earning a right livelihood by helping others find healing. In restoring others, I felt renewal in my own soul. Call it karma yoga. I took a leap of faith and manifested a lifelong dream, opening up my own practice and business was booming. I found instant success. Within my first month of opening doors I recovered all my starting costs plus found myself securely in the black with a handsome profit. It only continued up from there. I was working hard, but for the first time in my life I had financial security and was able to treat myself to the finer things. Within a few months, everything I had worked so hard for was reduced to nothing more than ash when a practitioner who shared space with me left a hot plate burning that set a fire, quickly consuming the building. I’ll never forget standing in the charred remains of what used to be my treatment room. How quickly life can completely change on the drop of a dime and leave you reeling senseless. I was not able to salvage a single thing except for a large statue of a fairy that I had sitting in the corner who somehow managed to survive the fire, her face glowing pearly white against a backdrop of blacken ash. I kept her as a reminder that even within darkness, there is light.

After this event, I hit the wall. Truth be told, the fire was a rather symbolic moment in my life. I was burned out. The field of rehabilitative massage is a taxing one. I didn’t do what therapists have dubbed ‘club rubs’. You know, those massages you get at the frou-frou spas where they pet you into submission. I did deep tissue, neuromuscular retraining, Heller work, sports massage and action release/trigger point therapy. This kind of work exacts a major toll on the body. I was in high demand and often found myself grinding through 60 hour work weeks. I was spent. My body depleted, I collapsed. I struggled for many years and saw a reactivation of my eating disorder issues, but this time it took a different form… non-purging bulimia. I used excessive exercise and tight eating as my compensatory behavior for the binges that were becoming ever more frequent. My weight escalated and I quickly became morbidly obese at over 300 lbs. I never really discovered my highest point because it got too depressing to see the rising numbers after awhile. I felt completely powerless against my body which only made my anxiety rise. This was a new experience for me. I had never been a large woman. I had gone through periods of being softer, fleshier, but never to the extent that it was difficult for me to function.

“Off with her head!”

Physically, this was a scary place to be. I was constantly getting winded and could barely make it around the block without having to stop to catch my breath. I was scared to sleep. When I laid down for bed I could feel this crushing weight on my chest. It felt suffocating. The worst part was that my ED tricks were no longer working. No amount of compensation could unravel the cascade of biological events that were happening in my body. This is the part of eating disorders that many people don’t talk about and I think it’s time we did. Eating disorders do serious physical damage to your body. They wreak havoc on your digestive system and once that damage has been done, it takes a long time and much effort to repair your internal terrain. When your digestion heads south, watch out! You become vulnerable to a whole slew of physical health complications. Unable to assimilate the nutrients from food, your state of well-being quickly deteriorates. It may seem like ED is helping you obtain the coveted prize of a thinner body but you can rest assured, there will come a time when you have to pay the piper and the price exacted will be your heavy head. Take it from someone who knows. It’s not worth it.

My body was in constant pain because of depleting bone mass. I had a bone density screening and the nurse practitioner was highly disturbed by my results. She informed me that I was only 3 points away from being like an 80 year old woman with osteoporosis. She had never seen a woman in her twenties with these results in all her years of practice. I found myself having to visit my dentist frequently for dental caries. My immune system was shot. I seemed to get every cold and flu that would come around the bend. It was very common during those days for me to be laid out sick for weeks on end. Every time I tried to exercise to address my escalating weight it was like throwing a match into a barrel of kerosene. My body was on fire and it was screaming at me, “Stop! Please stop! Be gentle with me. Be kind. I can’t take this abuse anymore!” My body was in the trenches of eating disorder, raising the white flag of surrender, but sadly, for many more years the battle raged on. Ultimately, my energy was completely snuffed out. I blew out my thyroid.

Many people are unaware that a major contributor to hypothyroid conditions is a history of chronic dieting. It’s no wonder that thyroid disease has reached almost epidemic proportions in the United States with our cultural diet obsession. The irony is, the longer you restrict, yo-yoing back and forth between feast and famine, the more your body will put up a fight for self-preservation. This is why many people find that despite the small amount of food they eat and the more strenuously they exercise their body only holds onto fat stores for dear life. This is because in a very real sense biologically, it is a life or death struggle. After years of abuse and self-neglect of basic needs, our bodies remain in a state of high-alert, never knowing when the next meal will come. Despite being fed, this uncertainty will linger. How long will this food be available? When will the next famine arrive? To the average person trying to live up to societies’ one-note beauty ideal this pursuit may seem harmless. Intellectually, you may understand that you are choosing to forgo food in favor of thinness, but this is completely irrational to your body. The body adapts in these situations and will slow everything to a grinding halt, including metabolism. This is why it is very common for restrictive eaters, chronic dieters and those who have battled anorexia to deal with overweight/obesity conditions later in life. We can’t blame our bodies. They are responding accurately to a lack of food security. We have to stop working against our bodies and instead work with our natural biological drives if we ever hope to have lasting healing.

There’s a Light in My Attic

After 9 more years of struggle with bulimia, beaten down and spent, I finally made the decision to give up the fight. I made a commitment to never diet again. I wanted to reconnect with my body. Even though I was a very large woman, I couldn’t be concerned about my body size. I was just so tired of the constant struggle. The fight that came every morning when first opening my eyes and wondering if today was going to be a good day or a bad day. Most were bad days. I couldn’t take the sheer disappointment… the numbness and apathy… of living that way a moment longer.

I decided to embrace intuitive eating. The first year was challenging. I continued to exhibit bulimic behavior, but I was seeing slow and steady improvement. My second year into intuitive eating, my binges fell away. However, an air of restrictiveness remained. I couldn’t see this at the time, but looking back now, it is very clear to me. I will share how this restrictiveness stayed in place in hopes that it may help others to recognize destructive patterns within themselves. I was very conscious about eating just to the point of satiation. This is something that is recommended in the book, “Intuitive Eating”. Unfortunately, since I never received any help for my eating disorder I had certain distorted perceptions about food, hunger and satiety imbedded in my brain. Adhering to this guideline kept me in a state of perpetual underfeeding. Additionally, I continued to over-exercise. Not to the extent that I once did at the most exacerbated points in my ED history, but imbalanced nonetheless. I frequently hit periods of over-training and injury. I summed this up to being the end result of trying to exercise as a heavy woman and something I just needed to push through.

After two and a half years binge-free, I felt better than I had in 10 years. A doctor’s appointment confirmed that I had released 70 lbs. effortlessly. My energy was improving. My health was on the mend. I had a new respect for my body and felt a peace around food that I never had at any point in my life. During this period of time I became certified as an intuitive eating counselor by going through the training program designed by, Evelyn Tribole and Elyse Resch, the authors of, “Intuitive Eating”. I was listed on the national directory and made the decision to pay it forward by founding, “Through Thick and Thin”. My vision was to establish a sacred space in the format of an online community where the support would be free and all who entered could feel welcome, accepted as they are, and be gifted with tools that could help them in their recovery. It was a lofty vision because that level of integrity is rarely seen on the internet, but we have somehow managed to hit the mark. Every time I hear a member express that the, “Through Thick and Thin” community is one of the only places they feel free to be themselves, accepted and safe, it reminds me of the importance and value of the work we are doing collectively as a community. I felt like I had mastered recovery.

Building a Bridge from ED to Intuitive Eating, Part 2

2010-02-26T10:06:00.000-08:00

An Itch Begging To Be Scratched… The Birth of Relapse

2009 was a year to remember, though not fondly. There was major health crisis with loved ones, death in the family, one of my dearest friends lost her only son suddenly and unexpectedly and needed emotional support. Upheaval became a constant theme. They say when it rains, it pours and in my neck of the woods, it was dropping by the bucketful. I began to feel overwhelmed. Every safe space seemed to be crowded with an ever-growing feeling of impending doom. My heart sank when the phone rang because it usually brought more bad news. My sense of anxiety began to grow as I realized that in life, there are no guarantees. This pushed play on some of the old tapes that used to run through my mind in the past. A sense of wondering when the other shoe was going to drop started to color all my experiences. I saw the reemergence of ED.

At first, it was an isolated incident… a binge here, some ‘careful’ eating there, then progressing to periods of ignored hunger and over-exercise. At first, I chalked it up to stress. I knew these coping mechanisms felt like comfort zones for me. Naturally, with my sense of overwhelm increasing my survival instincts would guide me to rely on old ways of dealing with difficult emotions and situations. This is the only way I have known to keep myself afloat since I was a little girl. I decided that if I could be more aware I could reel myself back in and reconnect with intuitive eating. It wasn’t that easy.

As my eating disorder behavior increased, the weight release came to a grinding halt. Once again my body was in crisis mode. My health started to nosedive. This only fueled the fire in my sense of urgency to ‘get back on track’. Medical doctors were admonishing me left and right to lose weight or else experience the consequences. Though they were pleased with the progress I had made up to that point with intuitive eating, it wasn’t good enough. When they saw the weight release stall, it upped the ante and each medical appointment only caused my frustration to grow. My doctors are aware of my eating disorder history. What I would like to let medical professionals know is that heaping this kind of pressure upon patients with these histories is irresponsible. It is like flipping the switch on the disorder. We need more compassion from the medical community. Slimness does not equal sound health. I am living proof of that fact in light of my personal history with eating disorder.

By October 2009 the balance reached the tipping point and I saw a full-blown relapse of my eating disorder. I exhibited non-purging bulimic behavior in full bloom. Days would go by where I would starve, existing off nothing more than a single fruit smoothie. Eventually, my biological drives would kick in and I would experience subsequent bingeing. The binges could last days on end. I stayed in this pattern for close to a month distracting myself by disassociating through over-work and over-extending myself. “No” ceased to be part of my vocabulary. I was stretching myself paper thin. Somehow, that intuitive voice that I had been nurturing inside all these years since beginning my healing process kicked in. I woke from my haze and realized I was in trouble. I needed help.

“Breaking Up Is Hard To Do”

ED has always been a shitty partner. ‘He’ expects so much of me and gives nothing in return. ‘He’ is a sadist… hell-bent on my submission. It’s ‘his’ way or the highway. Every time I try to use my voice and stand up for myself, ED tells me to ‘shut up’. ‘He’ is a gatekeeper and likes to have me under lock and key. ‘He’ will never let me have much freedom. ED isolates me from my friends, family, and the things that make my heart full. ‘He’ crowds out the spaces that allow room for my soul to smile. ‘He’ seeks to make me smaller… to strip me of my power. I’m so over ED. ‘He’ is a waste of time. Breaking up is hard to do, but it’s time for me to move on to greener pastures. Sorry ED, I’ve had a glimpse of the other side, and though the grass may not always be greener, in this case, it is. I already packed your bags. They’re waiting outside by the cab I called for you.

It may seem funny to describe eating disorder as a relationship, but that is exactly what it becomes. Anyone who has experienced the death grip of ED knows it’s like being in an abusive relationship with your self. You feel divided, as if there is a civil war going on within you complete with two dueling sides. One side wants recovery so badly it can nearly taste it and the other side doesn’t want to relinquish the control required to get free. At some point you have to dig deep and find that small still place inside… the place where the authentic you lives… and using all the strength you can muster, walk out that door toward a life that holds no space for ED in it. This is exactly what I have done.

I began by attending a day long workshop at Beyond Hunger that was led by one of the therapists who co-wrote the book, “It’s Not About Food.” This is the first time I ever sought any kind of eating disorder support for myself. It was an essential first step. The workshop was a condensed version of the book so I didn’t receive any monumental benefit from the experience. I didn’t let that discourage me. Sometimes, you have to be open to exploring your options when you first reach out for help. Serendipitously, there was a therapist attending the workshop who specializes in eating disorder. When I asked if there were any other ED support resources in the area she guided me to a free ANAD (Anorexia Nervosa and Associated Disorders) support group that has weekly meetings in a neighboring city. When you reach out for help you may not get the answer you expect, but often are led to exactly what you need.

I have been attending weekly ANAD meetings and getting myself therapy with a specialist in eating disorders since December 2009. The experience has changed my life. There are so many things I understand about myself and the way I have moved through this world that I was completely unaware of. Some days are better than others. Opening up your self and peeling back the layers can feel scary at times. There are moments when the intensity of the emotions welling up in me takes my breath away. I’m learning to hold space for the suffering… not wallow in it… but invite it in to sit for a spell so I can learn from it, gain a better understanding of myself, then wish it well upon its’ way. Each day the part of me that wants recovery grows stronger. My emancipation is coming into view.

Building a Bridge from ED to Intuitive Eating, Part 3

2010-02-26T10:02:00.000-08:00

ED’s Accomplice… EDNOS

As I began my recovery process I became more aware of certain struggles the members of the, “Through Thick and Thin” community were experiencing. Time and time again I saw similar threads emerge. When I came out to the community and shared the truth about my relapse it sparked a lot of discussion on the forum. The more we honestly shared with each other, the more our similarities became evident. In hearing my story, others heard echoes of themselves. Some were ready to step up to the plate and acknowledge that they too, struggle with eating disorder. Others felt apprehensive about wearing that label as if it were the equivalent of brandishing a scarlet letter. Many who felt fearful of looking into their shadowy areas have since found the courage to strike their own matches and see what has been lurking in the dark all these years. All over the, “Through Thick and Thin” forum we are talking about eating disorder. This act of truth-telling has erased the shame and given more people the courage to own their experience and their paths to recovery.

We have always had members in our community who deal with the clinical eating disorders anorexia and bulimia but in the past, we have seemed like a minority. However, since I began to share information about EDNOS many members are recognizing that eating disorder may be at the root of their food and body image struggles.

EDNOS stands for Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified. It is a horribly limiting diagnosis which prevents people from getting the help and support they need. Many with EDNOS fall through the cracks and spend their lives constantly battling a feeling that something in their relationship with food and their body is not quite right, but they can’t put their finger on it. All their efforts to find the peace they seek seem to fall to the wayside of their struggle. It can be very painful and confusing for these individuals. EDNOS is a serious issue that requires support. It should not be swept under the rug like some dirty little secret. EDNOS today can quickly spiral into clinical eating disorder tomorrow. It can cost you the heavy price of your life. “Through Thick and Thin” wants to give all those living with EDNOS a voice in our effort to share knowledge during NEDAwareness Week. We know your pain. We understand your struggle. You are not alone. It’s time your stories were heard.

EDNOS is the gray area of eating disorder. It comes in many shades and hues. Vlogger, ‘xxstrawberrykissezxx’ on You Tube described the experience of EDNOS so clearly when she expressed in her video…

“You know you’re EDNOS…

When one day you can’t imagine eating over 1,000 calories and the next you hit 2,000 or more.

When you tell people, (including health professionals) you have an ED and they don’t believe you.

When your weight always stays the same because the starving and the bingeing seem to cancel each other out.

When no one sees your emotional pain because you’re not thin enough to show it.

When you want the definition of anorexia to change so you can fit into something for once.

When your weeks tend to go… purge, fast, purge, fast… binge, binge, binge.

When someone asks you what ED you have you say, ‘All of them… on different days… and not to the extreme.’

When you eat until your stomach hurts and then realize you don’t feel like purging.

When you go to the supermarket and buy all healthy stuff and then go back to buy all the junk food.

When you reward a day of restricting by bingeing.

When you starve all day but eat over 2,000 cals. at night.

When you drink until you vomit because… well, because you want to.

When you feel like you’re anorexic but sure don’t look it!

And when you wish food didn’t exist because it would be so much easier that way.

Anyone can suffer an eating disorder. They strike regardless of age, sex, or race. And whatever the weight of a disordered eater… under, normal, or overweight… they can all suffer the same pain.”

I think this captures the essence of EDNOS better than anything I have ever come across before. A person does not have to have every experience that is described here. Displaying even one of these behaviors should raise cause for concern. If you or someone you know is dealing with these issues, please reach out for support. It can be a scary first step to take but it is a step that will put you back on the road to claiming ownership of your life.

It dawned on me that the vast majority of those who come to the path of intuitive eating deal with some level of disordered eating, with many falling in the EDNOS category. Most don’t turn to the intuitive approach until they have reached complete burnout with diets. Inside, they know that something has to give. They can’t keep going on like this. Having exhausted all the tools of the dieter, intuitive eating becomes a last resort… the final hope. There are no absolutes and occasionally a person stumbles along the intuitive approach before dieting behaviors become deeply entrenched, but in the vast majority of cases there is lengthy chronic dieting history or episodes of eating disorder.

Medical professionals and researchers have noted a distinct link between chronic dieting and the rise of eating disorder. Often, dieting can become a gateway into eating disorder for those with genetic, societal, and emotional vulnerabilities. Even someone without this propensity can get caught up in this vicious cycle because dieting distorts our perceptions about food and our bodies. It is my belief that the vast majority of individuals who turn to intuitive eating deal with some level of eating disorder, varying in degree of severity all the way from meeting clinical criteria for ED to falling in the murky range of EDNOS. This has been played out in full view within the, “Through Thick and Thin” community. The vast majority of individuals attempting to integrate an intuitive approach to food struggle greatly. I have seen a high level of confusion and subsequent relapses into disordered eating behaviors from restricting, over-exercising and occasional purges, to chronic bingeing and compulsive overeating. All too often I have heard the body bashing and self-denigration so common amongst eating disorder sufferers. I have seen patterns of emotional issues, social anxieties, intimacy and relationship struggles that are indicative of the ED mentality.

Building a Bridge from ED to Intuitive Eating, Part 4

2010-02-26T09:57:00.000-08:00

The Missing Piece of the Puzzle

Then it all crystallized. I found the missing piece to the puzzle. I finally understood why so many people were not finding complete recovery through intuitive eating. Quintessentially, the intuitive eating approach puts the cart before the horse. It works on the basis of assumption that most do not deal with any degree of eating disorder, when sadly, this is far from the truth. The reality is actually the mirror opposite. Evelyn Tribole and Elyse Resch have hit the nail on the head when they express the challenges that someone faces in integrating an intuitive eating approach when they are contending with eating disorder. They outline the importance of educating individuals about how to properly nourish their bodies and in many cases, employ a rehabilitative plan that will provide the safety of a certain level of structure. This allows the individual to gradually release distorted behaviors and perceptions around food as they are nurtured back to health physically and cognitively. Once this balance has been developed, the individual can be guided gently into learning how to listen to their body’s internal cues to lead their eating experiences. Intuitive eating is the ultimate destination, but a large majority of people coming to this path may need to take a detour and first learn how to properly care for themselves, addressing the internal imbalances that result from a history of ED/EDNOS or chronic dieting.

I can hear it now… “Wait a minute! I know what’s healthy. I could probably school my doctor in nutrition. I’ve read so many books on how to eat. I’ve been on countless plans. How is this supposed to help?! Isn’t a plan just another diet?” What many neglect to acknowledge is that the vast majority of their nutritional information has come from faulty sources. Most have received their nutritional ‘education’ from fad diets and the media who is always quick to jump on the bandwagon of the latest food hype. Tell me I’m wrong. We’ve all heard the never-ending droning of the media machine extolling the virtues of acai berries and mangosteen. For every ‘It’ girl in Hollywood we have a corresponding ‘It’ food… the flavor of the moment… and it sucks people in. First coffee is ‘bad’ for us, and then it is ‘proven’ to prevent dementia. How many foods have been put into the penalty box only to be redeemed a few short months later? Remember how we demonized carbs? That screwed up many people’s ideas about this important fuel source. Now we are being encouraged to bring grains back to the table.

The funny thing is the core nutritional information for building a foundation of health hasn’t really shifted all these years despite these ever-changing ‘fashion’ trends. I can read your thoughts… “Oh great… here we go with the Food Pyramid and the dreaded countdown of servings a day. Here come back the measuring cups, food scales and the lists of ‘good’ and ‘bad’ foods. I knew it!” Wrong again. “Through Thick and Thin” would never pull the rug out from under you like that. Besides, there is much room for improvement when it comes to the Food Pyramid. Marion Nestle agrees.

Marion Nestle is Paulette Goddard Professor in the Department of Nutrition, Food Studies, and Public Health at New York University. She chaired the Department of Public Health from 1988-2003. She holds degrees in molecular biology and an M.P.H. in public health nutrition issued by UC Berkley. She has schooled physicians, residents and medical students at the UCSF School of Medicine. She has served as a member on the FDA Food Advisory Committee and Science Board, the USDA/DHHS Dietary Guidelines Advisory Committee and American Cancer Society that establish nutritional protocol for cancer prevention. This is the short list of her numerous contributions to the field of nutrition. She is a highly regarded professional and you would be hard-pressed to find a member of the medical/dietetic communities willing to go head to head with her. She knows her stuff and has poked many holes in the value of the Food Pyramid.

If you feel compelled to learn more about nutrition I encourage you to read Marion Nestle’s book, “What to Eat” where she sorts through the ‘Big Food’ hoopla to reveal the simple truth. It’s not complicated, but the food corporations have made it that way. In fact, the current Food Pyramid is more strongly influenced by commercial gain than by public interest. If you have any doubt about this I welcome you to read Marion Nestle’s telling book, “Food Politics: How the Food Industry Influences Nutrition and Health”. What I appreciate about Marion Nestle is that she presents an informed, well-rounded view. She knows both sides of the story and is able to present the facts free from bias. I view her approach to nutrition as integrative. Unshackled by the conventional approach, she is open to applying alternative nutritional therapies where they have merit. Neither too far on the left, nor right side of the fence, she can meet the public in the middle and provide a balanced view.

If any food pyramid were to be employed in the design of our plan, “Through Thick and Thin” favors the, “Food For Thought Pyramid – How to REALLY Enhance Your Health” created by, Laura McKibbin, LICSW that is founded on the HAES (Health At Every Size) approach. The, “Food For Thought Pyramid” features:

Genetics, Luck (6-11 servings)
Socioeconomic Factors: Country of birth, race, gender, income, access to healthcare, freedom from violence (6-11 servings)
Relationships and Social Support: People, pets (3-5 servings)
Purpose and Meaning: Spirituality, altruism, contact with nature, forgiveness (2-4 servings)
Humor, Optimism, Play (2-3 servings)
Emotional Resilience: Healthy management and expression of anger and other emotions, ability to take action (2-3 servings)
Exercise (1 serving)
Nutritional Advice (Use Sparingly): Instead, rely on internal cues

Sources: Dean Ornish, Jon Kabat-Zinn, Bernie Siegel, The Buddha, Gloria Steinem, Viktor Frankl, Glenn Gaesser, Mother Teresa, Martin Seligman, Jesus of Nazareth, Jon Robison, Larry Dossey, Jean Baker-Miller, the World Health Organization, my Mom, your gut intuition.

As described on the website the, “Food For Thought Pyramid” was, “Designed as a tongue in cheek response to and criticism of the FDA’s Food Guide Pyramid.” There are, “Food For Thought Pyramid” posters available for purchase at:

http://www.food-for-thought-pyramid.com/

In a spirit of paying it forward, for every poster purchased 20% of the proceeds will be donated to the Ecumenical Food Shelf of Alberta Lea, MN. Or if preferred, you can provide the name of a food bank in your area that you would like the funds to be distributed to and they will make a donation to your chosen facility in your name. The poster would be a great way to visually remind yourself to keep all things in perspective on your journey and to heed your counsel as the input that carries the most weight in your decisions when it comes to your recovery.

Our ultimate destination is intuitive eating. Those who are currently struggling with ED/EDNOS issues may need a helping hand to rehabilitate their bodies so they can get back to a balanced place biologically and once again rely on their internal cues. For those who have been coming up against a wall of resistance in implementing intuitive eating, this approach may prove beneficial for you too. Please be mindful that this is a temporary means. The intention is not for you to fall back on this plan indefinitely. The idea is to help you get reconnected with your personal rhythms and bodily signals. I encourage you to give yourself at least 3 weeks to work with this technique so you can experience the rebalancing benefits that come from nourishing your body deeply.

This approach is being outlined for those dealing with eating disorder. If you have found your transition into intuitive eating to be a smooth, seamless one and your formerly imbalanced behaviors around food have stabilized… congratulations. It’s empowering to reconnect with your body and inner sense of knowing. There is no need for you to make any alterations. This approach is not for you. I ask that there is respect for those in our community who may need to rely on this transitional technique. If this plan is not for you, it does not mean that it is not needed by another who feels disconnected from their body. It is important to be mindful of the counsel...

“Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.” – Plato

Building a Bridge from ED to Intuitive Eating, Part 5

2010-02-26T09:54:00.000-08:00

“Planning is bringing the future into the present so that you can do something about it now.” – Alan Lakein

In keeping aligned with the, “Food For Thought Pyramid” we are going to use nutritional counsel sparingly. I am going to provide you with some general guidelines and show you how you can tailor a personal ‘plan’ to help meet your individual needs and aid you in building a bridge between where you are now, to becoming a natural, intuitive eater. We will discuss some basic nutrition but we will not be getting into the areas of portions sizes, except in an extremely simplified sense. This area is going to be covered so there can be an understanding of the minimal amount of food that needs to be eaten in order to foster a sense of health and well-being. Those with ED often have faulty perceptions in this area. Much like Goldilocks, they are used to seeing the cup as verging on empty or teetering toward being overfull in their attempt to find their 'just right'. The vast majority with ED exhibit some form of restrictive eating. This statement applies whether the individual struggles with anorexia, bulimia, binge eating disorder, compulsive overeating, or all the many shades of ED in between. Those who tend toward bingeing/chronic overeating often have periods of restriction where meals are skipped or only small amounts of food are eaten in order to make an attempt to make amends for their ‘out of control’ eating. Additionally, when people binge or chronically overeat, rarely is it on nourishing foods. Binge foods stereotypically lean toward those of the play food variety… candy, pastries, chips, fast food, ice cream, and the like. These foods, though tasty, are pleasure foods. They provide little nutritional benefit. Pleasure foods are important for satisfaction. There’s room for a little pleasure in every day. However, it’s best to think of these foods as spices and seasonings. They provide variety, interest and enjoyment to our meals. They fall short when serving as the main course. This is how even someone who falls into the morbidly obese category can become nutritionally undernourished, despite their body size. In essence, many bingers and compulsive overeaters are restricting nourishing foods. All of these factors create a physiologic environment where the body is in an underfed state. This is the one element that all eating disorders have in common. Although, this will be more readily apparent in cases where an individual is chronically under-eating, restricting and in a state of semi-starvation, we have learned this applies across the board in all ED conditions.

Until this state of internal deficiency is addressed, it will be next to impossible to rely on bodily signals to guide eating choices. It’s kind of like the telephone game you used to play as a kid where you would whisper a phrase in a friend’s ear and they would pass it along. The further down the line of friends the phrase traveled, the more distorted the end message became. This is exactly the case when it comes to someone with ED being able to decipher their bodily signals. Something gets lost in translation. This is largely related to two contributing factors… severe blood sugar fluctuations and nutritional deficiencies which lead to both physical and cognitive imbalances. Until these two factors are addressed the dysfunction will remain in place. There is no way for a balanced relationship with food and body to build on that foundation. The material outlined here will help you build a new foundation that will support you fully in your recovery, improving your health physically, mentally, and emotionally.

Before I get further into this information I want to make it very clear that if you are dealing with ED/EDNOS, it is vital to get the necessary support and to work with a recovery team who specializes in eating disorder. A nutritionist who has experience working with eating disorders can be a very valuable member of your team. The knowledge I am sharing here is in no way intended to replace the counsel and guidance of an eating disorders specialist. The approach I am outlining is for informational purposes only. What you choose to do with this information is your choice alone. I encourage those who are working with nutritionists to share what is presented here. Have your nutritionist look over it to make sure it is a fit for you and your recovery program. My intention is to help those who are struggling understand that in making the transition from ED to intuitive eating, it is often necessary to build a bridge in order to get to the other side.

This ‘plan’ has an intuitive element and that’s intentional. I think it’s very important to begin the process of reconnecting with your inner guidance right off the bat, with a little structure and assistance along the way. I will not be telling you what to eat, when, or how much. I will be sharing what sound nutrition is. I will be explaining how to compose your meals to stabilize your blood sugar and moods. I will be outlining the minimum amount of food needed for the body to function. This is not a limiting factor. You are free to eat more if that is what your body requires. All foods are on the menu. You are free to eat whatever you like. In fact, I encourage you to regularly include the pleasure foods that you enjoy into your ‘plan’. This will up your satisfaction factor. I will be presenting a road map, but you are the one in the driver’s seat and it is up to you which route you take to get to the final destination.

If you want to implement this approach I strongly urge you to commit to it for at least three weeks. Your body needs some time to rebalance and for you to experience the beneficial effect that deep nourishing can bring. Give yourself that gift. Trying this out for a day or two will not do much for you. This should be viewed as part of your process toward becoming an intuitive eater.

Building a Bridge from ED to Intuitive Eating, Part 6

2010-02-26T09:46:00.000-08:00

What is sound nutrition?

Sound nutritional nourishment is created when the majority of food choices come from plant sources. These include:

Starchy Complex Carbs: Whole grains, whole grain/sprouted grain breads, whole grain cereals, pastas and crackers, brown rice, grits, polenta, potatoes, yams
Non-Starchy Complex Carbs: Fruits (fresh and dried), 100% fruit juices, vegetables, 100% vegetable juices
Protein: Beans, lentils, split peas, tofu, nuts, nut butters, seeds, soy/nut milks
Fats/Oils: Olives, olive/vegetable oils

That’s right folks… carbs are the foundation of sound nourishment. They are not the ‘bad guys’ they have been made out to be. Despite what you may have heard in recent years, this one nutritional tenet has never changed. Our bodies need nourishing carbs and plenty of them in order to function properly. This includes starchy carbs, not just fruits and veggies. Without this essential nutrient, our energy plummets and our health suffers. Most Americans get plenty of fast absorbing carbs in the form of highly-processed white flour products, sugar and sweets. This is how carbs have gotten put in the penalty box. We have all seen the detrimental effect an excess of these foods can create. Our escalating diabetes rates clearly demonstrate the effect a steady stream of simple carbs can have on our bodies. However, we largely turn to simple carbs because we are so deficient in complex carbohydrates. It’s akin to a dog chasing its own tail.

Complex carbohydrates provide a vast array of essential nutrients and one that is sorely lacking in the Standard American Diet (SAD)… fiber. Fiber is an essential nutrient in disease prevention. One of the best things you can do for your body is up your fiber. Now, does this mean you can never enjoy simple carbs? Absolutely not! However, you will be best served by letting the majority of your choices come from complex carbohydrate sources. For our intents and purposes of nutritionally rehabilitating the body, I encourage you to make at least half of your choices from complex carbohydrate sources before you fall back on highly-processed foods. The more you favor complex carbohydrates, the more you will see your energy increase. Your moods will stabilize as the brain-fog begins to clear. Bingeing/compulsive overeating will start to fall away. You’ll also notice a distinct reduction in cravings for sweets.

Now, you may be wondering, “Where are the meat, dairy and eggs? Are you asking me to become a vegetarian?” Nope… try again. We are going to get into that in just a minute. First however, I want to assure you that you can get all the protein you need from plant sources. Plants provide all the essential amino acids. In the old days they used to believe that in order to make a complete protein out of plant sources you had to food combine… combining rice with beans is an example of this old food philosophy. We now know that the body will balance out the amino acid intake throughout the day on its own and food combining to get complete protein is no longer necessary. This statement is in fact supported by the ADA (American Dietetic Association).

Vegetarians who are getting all of their protein from plant sources need to be mindful of keeping up their vitamin C intake. This is because there are two types of protein, heme and non-heme. Meat is the only heme protein source and this bears mentioning because heme proteins provide essential iron. Heme sourced iron is also more easily absorbed by the body than it is from plant sources. In fact, meat eaters absorb on average 15-35% of the iron from this heme protein, whereas vegetarians, including lacto-ovo vegetarians who continue to consume eggs and dairy products, only absorb 2-20% of the iron from non-heme sources. This is important to consider because iron deficiency can lead to anemic conditions. There is no reason for concern though because this reduction in absorbability can easily be addressed by getting plenty of vitamin C rich foods. Vitamin C facilitates more complete iron absorption from non-heme protein sources. Foods rich in vitamin C are:

Sweet red bell peppers, parsley, broccoli, cauliflower, strawberries, mustard greens, papaya, grapefruit, kiwi, oranges, cantaloupe, cabbage, tomatoes, raspberries, celery, spinach, pineapple, watermelon, tangerines, limes, cranberries, guava

Realistically, most vegetarians are getting a wide variety of these vitamin C rich foods so the great iron debate can be set to rest. A plant-based way of eating can absolutely fulfill all of your nutritional requirements, so long as you are being mindful of nourishing yourself from a variety of nutritional sources. I’m sure this now raises some questions regarding calcium. Don’t you need milk in order to get the calcium needed to strengthen bones? The short answer is no. Plenty of plant foods contain highly-absorbable calcium. Plant foods high in calcium are:

Green leafy vegetables, nuts, oranges, kidney beans, lima beans, whole grains, Swiss chard, lentils, raisins, broccoli, kale, celery, tofu, romaine lettuce

In fact, it is a myth that you need to consume dairy in order to fulfill your calcium need. You may be thinking… “What about osteoporosis? Don’t I have to get 3 servings of dairy products a day in order to stave off bone loss?” Wrong again. In examining nutritional guidelines it is important to remember the politics of food. Food industries dish out a lot of cash to take up more space on the USDA Food Pyramid. Keep that in mind before allowing yourself to be blindly led. Many people are lactose intolerant and have difficulty eating dairy foods. In fact, in some of the healthiest societies in the world, very little, if any dairy is consumed. This is evident in rural China where the population consumes about one third the amount of dairy that most Americans do. They also have virtually no cases of osteoporosis. In fact, the highest incidence of osteoporosis corresponds with countries consuming the largest amounts of meat and dairy products including the United States, New Zealand, Britain and Sweden. The reason... excess animal protein consumption leaches the calcium from bones.

Does this mean you should avoid meat, dairy and eggs if these are foods you enjoy? Not a chance! We have to stop looking at things in such black and white terms. The key here is that excess animal protein intake can create calcium deficiency. This is another way that the low-carb fad diet trend has promoted harmful misinformation. It has skewed people’s thinking about balanced nutrition. Especially in fitness communities the macro-nutrient, protein, is over-emphasized and excessively valued. Remember, you can get all the protein you need from plant sources and plant protein will not deplete your calcium stores. If healthy, strong bones are important to you, and they should be, consume animal proteins more moderately. This can be easily achieved by going for the regular burger instead of the triple-decker, putting a little less meat in that chili and enjoying a slice or two of cheese, not half the brick. Our bodies really don’t need 16-oz. steaks, giant burgers, and heaping plate-full’s of Buffalo wings. We also don’t thrive off head-size hunks of cheese. The fast-food industry has greatly played into this portion distortion with their super-sizes and plates of food that can easily feed an entire family. Our whole idea about what constitutes a reasonable portion of food is off.

Those who struggle with restrictive eating disorder behaviors are probably used to seeing a plate as half empty and falsely believing this is a reasonable amount of food, while those with bingeing/compulsive overeating disorders often have eyes that are bigger than their stomachs. Here is the only portion guidance I am going to give. I share this not as a limiting element, but to help those who may have confusion understand what a reasonable portion of food is and the bare minimum amount of food that needs be consumed at meals for general health. I’m not going to ask you to pull out the food scale or your measuring cups. Those are the tools of the dieter and there is no need for those anymore. I’m also not going to break down serving sizes into their measurement equivalents by listing how many cups or ounces of food ‘should’ be consumed. I personally find that kind of information triggering. I think this is where nutritional professionals have really missed the mark. They understand the importance of sharing this information but present it in a manner that automatically breeds resistance and can be activating for ED issues. That’s not our intention here, so we are going to keep it simple. Want to know what a reasonable portion of food looks like? Put out your hand and make a fist… that’s it. A serving of protein, starchy carbs, fruits or veggies, is about the size of your fist. Use fats in small amounts to add flavor, while increasing both the enjoyment and nutritional content of your meals. A little butter can be a great thing! This is not an exact science, but it comes close enough to hit the mark.

The final nutritional area I want to cover is pleasure foods. Don’t worry… I didn’t forget about those treats we all love. What would life be without a cookie, scoop of ice cream, grab-bag of chips, or basket of fries from time to time? Boring and bland and we don’t want any part of that. I think each one of us will have our hands raised high when I ask the question, “How many of you are sick and tired of being told to avoid the foods that you love?” Pleasure should be considered an essential nutrient. Like a multi-vitamin, we should take one a day… at least. Pleasure is required to feel a sense of satisfaction. Feeling satisfied is an underrated component of ending bingeing, compulsive overeating and restricting behaviors. We need to learn the art of receiving pleasure. We also need to understand that pleasure comes through more sources than just food. I encourage you to include a little pleasure in each day from a variety of sources. In terms of sweets and treats, include reasonable amounts at the end of your meals or build them into your meals, if you so desire. This will allow you to experience the pleasure of the treats you love while also bringing your relationship with these foods into balance. Rather than viewing them as the main event, you will begin to see them realistically, as extras. Treats serve the purpose of providing dimension and interest to your meals. Biologically, this will also prevent blood sugar spikes. Since the bodily need for nourishment will take precedence it will foster an internal equilibrium that will allow you to experience satisfaction with smaller amounts of these foods. When it comes to reasonable portions of treats, once again, look to your hand. If it wouldn’t fit in your hand, it is more than your body needs to feel supported… a cookie or two, a handful of chips, a scoop of ice cream… all sensible amounts. You can enjoy these foods every day! Build them into the meal ‘plan’ you are going to create. It’s important that you have enjoyable eating experiences. Many of you have been denied this pleasure for far too long. It’s time to welcome all foods back to the dining table.

Additionally, consider inviting other sources of pleasure into your day, as well. Make time to take a relaxing bath. Allow yourself 15 minutes to take a cat nap. Treat yourself to a warm cup of tea and a page-turning novel. Make a play-date with your best girlfriend. Make time for you. You deserve it!

Finally, make sure you are getting plenty of water. Carry a water bottle with you and sip on it throughout the day to keep yourself well-hydrated.

How to Create Your ‘Plan’

In order to get your blood sugar levels stabilized, reduce bingeing/compulsive overeating, sugar cravings and create a sense of food security that will allow your body to find physical and cognitive balance, it is going to be imperative that you feed yourself consistently and regularly with adequate nourishment. In order to achieve these aims you will be creating a ‘plan’ that will include 3 substantial meals and 2-3 snacks each day eaten no more than 4 hours apart from one another. Your snacks will be smaller than what you normally consume in a meal. It is also necessary to get a nurturing breakfast in every day within an hour of rising. Skipping breakfast invites in too many physiological responses that trigger ED behavior. This meal is going to be an essential component of your recovery process. This may seem like a task at this point, but I promise it will do amazing things for your body. You’ll be surprised how much this single step can improve your overall well-being.

This is not about putting yourself on a mini-meal plan, which has been a recent popular diet trend. This is about nourishing your body with essential fuel. When preparing your meals, think of including at least a fist-sized portion each of starchy complex carbohydrates, protein, and a fruit or veggie. Balanced snacks will include a little complex carbohydrates (starchy or fruits/veggies) and protein. At first, this may seem like a lot of food to you and believe me, I understand. I was taken back when I saw the minimum amount of food I would need to be eating in order to repair and replenish my body. At first, I thought there was no way that I could do this, but in a very short time, I have been proven wrong. It makes me all too aware of how much I have been restricting and under-eating.

I am feeling much better physically, mentally, emotionally, and energy-wise since implementing my own ‘plan’. I now really get that I was carb-deprived. This rise in energy level and improvement in mood were probably the two changes I noticed first. I was able to experience this within a few days. Initially, it took a little time for me to adjust to this amount of food. I had been used to eating to the ‘just satiated’ point with intuitive eating and was not familiar with a sense of being truly full and nourished. This was an adjustment for me. If you are like me and have been eating to the ‘just satiated’ point, you have probably been under-eating. This is likely a great contributing factor in the continuation of your ED behavior. Under-eating promotes bingeing and compulsive overeating. It also increases your cravings for sugar, sweets and highly-processed foods. This is because simple carbs are quickly absorbing into your bloodstream and with a lack of adequate complex carbohydrates, (this is the nutritional food source most restrict and under-consume) the body is going to scream for emergency fuel. I have always had a major sweet tooth. Since getting these consistent feedings my desire for sugary foods has all but vanished. I continue to include a little dessert each day but find a very small amount satisfies me. I now realize that my body was so pulled to those foods because I was undernourished. It’s been a transformational experience for me. I continue to enjoy all of my favorite foods, including takeout, but a real balance is developing. I’m finding that the reward of feeling deeply nurtured with solid nutrition is more attractive to me than flooding my body with play foods.

Set Your Feeding Schedule on a Day To Day Basis

Every night before you go to bed, think about what the next day has in store for you. Pull out a notebook or journal to record your ‘plan’. I like to use a dry-erase board because I work out of the home and it serves as a visual reminder to me that I need to remember to take care of myself by eating. This alone has been an amazing tool to ending my restricting/starving behavior.

In creating your ‘plan’ for the next day, it is vital to consider certain elements. When will you be rising? Schedule your breakfast within an hour of your wake-up time. When will you be able to break for lunch? Write your lunch time down. When will you reasonably be able to prepare yourself dinner? Schedule that time in, as well. Now that you have the basic template for your meals pinned down, it’s time to think about adding those 2-3 snacks. Is there more than 4 hours time lapsed between breakfast and when you will be having lunch? Schedule a mid-morning snack somewhere in there. Do you frequently experience an energy slump in the afternoon, or do you find your cravings for sweets tend to escalate later in the day? If so, schedule an afternoon snack. Are you a nighttime binger? Make sure to schedule yourself an after dinner snack. Whether you choose to have 2 or 3 snacks is totally up to you and based on your personal needs and ED patterns.

There is no need to plan what you are going to eat. This will allow you to begin to get in touch with your intuitive bodily signals. Simply keep in mind to think about having a portion of starchy complex carbs, protein, and a fruit or veggie with each meal and a complex carb/protein combo for snacks. You are merely setting reminders to feed yourself consistently and in a nourishing way. Amazing things will happen for you physically, mentally, and emotionally when your body begins to get the signal that food is available in abundance and that its needs will be met. Your entire being will begin to come into balance. Food is powerful medicine!

The great thing about a ‘plan’ like this is that it is all about you. It provides just enough structure to create a sense of safety for those transitioning from ED to intuitive eating. The planning also allows individuals to begin to reconnect with their own inner knowing in terms of food choices and how to best support their nutritional needs by working around their daily schedules and responsibilities. It fosters an awareness that providing your body with this essential care is equally important, if not more so, than the other obligations in your life. The schedule allows you to stop thinking about food so much and release the obsession. You will now be able to rest assured that you have a ‘plan’ in place and can begin to direct your attention toward other meaningful pursuits. Finally, it addresses common areas of concern that usually arise with newcomers to intuitive eating like how to work around work and school schedules.

Our responsibilities shift from day to day. By setting your schedule the night before, you will be able to take these varying elements into consideration and plan accordingly. Your ‘plan’ does not have to be static. It can shift and grow with you and your needs. Perfection is also not required. Do your best to stick with your ‘plan’. If you have a meal or snack where you fall behind what you have scheduled a bit, don’t beat yourself up over it. Simply get back on track to the best of your ability. The only thing not allowed on this ‘plan’ is guilt. Also, as you begin to feed yourself consistently, you will begin to see your hunger cues coming forward regularly and predictably. As this occurs, take this into consideration when creating your ‘plan’. For example, let’s say you note that you tend to get hungry in between breakfast and lunch consistently. There are a couple of ways you could alter your ‘plan’ to address this issue. You could opt to go for 3 snacks instead of 2 and add one in mid-morning. You could also choose to schedule your lunch a little earlier if you are able to accommodate that. Brilliantly, this begins to get you used to tuning into you own internal rhythms. Think of it as the first stirrings of the intuitive eater awakening.

There is a second piece to this puzzle which involves how to transition away from this ‘plan’ into becoming the natural eater you were always meant to be. Consider what has been presented here to be part one of this recovery process. I am refraining from posting the second part of this information purposefully until three weeks have lapsed. There is a reason for this. This is going to be new and unfamiliar for many of you. You need to give yourself time to adjust to regular, nourishing feeding. It is also necessary to allow space for your bodily signals to begin to come forward consistently. If I were to present the transitional information now, there would be a natural human tendency to want to rush ahead and that would defeat the purpose of this approach. Be patient and give yourself some time to experience the many improvements feeding your self soundly will bring. In three weeks I will present the second part of this process and we will begin to reclaim our natural, intuitive eater within.

Show Your Support For NEDAwareness Week

2010-02-19T19:13:00.000-08:00

The official NEDAwareness Week kicks off this Sunday, February 21st and runs through Saturday, February 27th. In a display of solidarity, "The Big Fat Lie" would like to encourage all our members to show your support by wearing the purple ribbon that is the symbol of raising eating disorder awareness throughout this upcoming week. Let's erase the shame by encouraging an open dialogue about this important issue. Remember to get involved by doing just one thing to raise awareness and to share your experiences with the community if you feel moved to. We can make a big difference if we all do our part.

To all of you who have already stepped forward to help in this effort, "The Big Fat Lie" extends its' deepest gratitude on behalf of all those struggling with eating disorder and to the many that fought the good fight but lost the battle. You will be remembered always...

Green Goddess Pasta

2010-02-19T12:02:00.000-08:00

Servings: 6 generous helpings

Cost Per Serving: Approximately $2.13 per helping

You always hear people say that it is too expensive to eat nutritious, organic food but I'm going to dispel some myths. Periodically, I will post my recipes and give a cost breakdown per serving in order to shed light on an area where there seems to be a great deal of confusion. Most people will argue that they opt for fast food because it's more economical, but I'm here to challenge that belief. The, "Green Goddess Pasta" recipe I am presenting can feed 6 people... very well. This pasta can be divided into 6 separate portions and stored in zip-lock containers providing easy lunches and dinners throughout the busy week with the same convenience of fast food, at a lower cost both in the short and long-term view. In the short-term, you cannot find a fast food meal to feed you so substantially for this price. Not to mention, you save the expense of gas when you opt to dine-in. In the long-term, you will also save yourself a mint in medical expenses while lessening the negative impact the mass production of highly processed foods has on our environment. When looking at the bigger picture it makes sense to bring back the tradition of a home-cooked meal.

Ingredients:

1 package veggie sausage, sliced (I used organic Tofurky brand Kielbasa flavored vegetarian sausage for this recipe. It has a nice, savory flavor. You can substitute your favorite brand of veggie sausage, if you prefer.)
1 (12-oz.) package of wide egg noodles
1/4 c. bruschetta tapenade (I used a bruschetta tapenade with mixed olives, sun-dried tomatoes and roasted red peppers.)
1 Tbsp. organic butter from grass-fed cows (high in omegas)
1 Tbsp. extra-virgin olive oil
1/2 an organic sweet onion, chopped
2 c. organic broccoli-carrot slaw
2 Tbsp. Bragg's Liquid Aminos (Tastes like soy sauce, but is salt-free and contains all the essential amino acids. A great all-purpose flavor enhancer.)
Freshly ground black pepper, to taste

Directions:

Bring a large pot of water to boil. Once the water is ready, cook egg noodles according to package directions.
In a large pan, warm olive oil over medium heat. Add at once, veggie sausage, onion and broccoli-carrot slaw. Cook until veggie sausage is lightly browned and the veggies are tender. Add the bruschetta tapenade to the pan at the end to toss and warm with the other ingredients.
Once pasta is cooked, drain and be sure to shake off any excess moisture. Toss pasta with butter, Bragg's Liquid Aminos and freshly ground black pepper.
Gently fold the veggie sausage stir-fry into the pasta.
Serve yourself a generous helping and enjoy.

If you are interested in preserving leftovers for a later date, this stores well in zip-lock containers and will last 3-4 days in the refrigerator and up to several months in the freezer.

"The 36 Hour Miracle"

2010-02-18T17:22:00.000-08:00

The Ten Most Common Misconceptions About Eating Disorders

2010-02-18T16:30:00.000-08:00

The Telltale Signs of Eating Disorder

2010-02-18T12:46:00.000-08:00

I wanted to post this information for all those out there who are currently struggling in their relationship with food and their body, but who remain uncertain if an eating disorder is the source of their issues. I also wanted to post this information for every mother, father, sister, brother, family member, or friend who may know someone you love and care about that could be suffering. The following list of eating disorder signs is presented in, "The Eating Disorder Sourcebook - A Comprehensive Guide to the Causes, Treatments, and Prevention of Eating Disorders", By, Carolyn Costin M.A., M. Ed., M.F.T.

For those of you unfamiliar with Carolyn Costin's work, she has been a specialist in the field of eating disorders for over 30 years. She owns and directs several eating disorder treatment facilities including the Monte Nido Residential Treatment Facility in Malibu, California. Additionally, she is clinical advisor to the Parent Family Network of the National Eating Disorder Association. Carolyn Costin is the editor of, "Eating Disorders: The Journal of Treatment and Prevention". She is an established and respected author on the topic of eating disorders. Along with, "The Eating Disorder Sourcebook" she has also published the titles, "Your Dieting Daughter" and "100 Questions About Eating Disorders". Carolyn Costin continues to educate and empower through her nationwide public speaking engagements. She was featured in the groundbreaking documentary, "America the Beautiful". To view the featurette that includes the interview with Carolyn Costin, follow this link:

http://www.carolyncostin.com/press.php

Here you will also be able to view the trailer for the documentary, as well as obtain access to the official, "America the Beautiful" site where additional resources and copies of the movie are available for purchase. The movie would be a great tool for educators. I think students in their tweens to those in college would greatly benefit from seeing this film. It could spark the initiation of a meaningful dialogue on the subject of eating disorders. ED's have long been shrouded in secrecy and shame. In support of NEDAwareness Week, it's time we talk about it.

Below you will find the excerpt from, "The Eating Disorder Sourcebook" which includes the telltale markers of eating disorder. An individual does not have to display every sign listed to be in need of help. The signs noted cover a broad range of eating disorders from the traditionally recognized anorexia and bulimia, to the classification of EDNOS which includes binge eating disorder, compulsive overeating, exercise addiction and other forms of unhealthy behaviors. Not every individual will show all of these signs because of this distinction. Please keep this in mind when reviewing this list of symptoms. If you or someone you know is displaying any of these behaviors please find support. NEDA is a good place to start:

http://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/

Checklist of Observable and Nonobservable Signs of an Eating Disorder:

*Use the checklist here as a guide to substantiate your concerns.

Does anything to avoid hunger and eating and feels guilty after eating.
Is obsessive and preoccupied with food.
Eats large quantities of food secretly and/or eats when upset.
Counts calories obsessively.
Disappears into the bathroom after eating (probably to vomit food).
To lose weight takes diuretics, diet pills, laxatives, enemas, ipecac, and so forth.
Must earn food through exercising or exercises as punishment for overeating.
Is preoccupied with fat in food and on the body.
Increasingly eliminates food groups and/or eats only nonfat or "diet" foods.
Becomes a vegetarian BUT also avoids nuts, cheese, pasta, and many other foods.
Displays rigid control around food (e.g., type, quantity, and timing of food eaten).
Complains of being pressured by others to eat more or less.
Weighs obsessively, panics without a scale, is terrified of gaining weight.
Isolates himself or herself socially.
Substitutes sweets or alcohol for other nutritious foods.
Constantly needs reassurance regarding appearance, self-denigrating.
Constantly checks the fit of a belt, a bracelet, a ring, or "thin clothes".
Checks size of thighs when sitting and space between thighs when standing.
Uses large amounts of coffee, diet drinks, caffeine pills, or other stimulants.

Happy Valentine's Day!

2010-02-12T20:29:00.000-08:00

"The Big Fat Lie" would like to wish all of you a Happy Valentine's Day. We hope each of you receives royal treatment befitting of the queens and kings that you are. xxooxx

Barbie... American Icon or Harbinger of Body-Image Issues?

2010-02-11T11:52:00.000-08:00

Ever since Mattel first introduced Barbie to America on March 9th, 1959 she has been a permanent fixture in pop culture. Most women can recall memories of having Barbie as a childhood playmate. To this day, the doll continues to be as popular as ever. Most little girls have a Barbie in their toy chest. In fact, Mattel likes to boast that three Barbie dolls are sold every second. However, despite Barbie's popularity, the marketing of this doll to young girls has fallen under much scrutiny and for good reason. Barbie promotes a body image that is a far cry from healthy. In fact, there is great debate that the doll's fantasy proportions encourage body distortion and give rise to subsequent eating disorder behavior amongst young girls.

In 1963 an apparel collection, "Barbie Baby-Sits" was launched. The outfit came with accessories, one of which was a book titled, "How to Lose Weight". The book's advice... "Don't eat". This same book accessory was featured in 1965 in the apparel collection, "Slumber Party" complete with pink bathroom scale set permanently at 110 lbs. Barbie's real-life dimensions are far from realistic. Here are some keepin' it real Barbie facts:

If Barbie was an actual woman her measurements would be completely unattainable. At 5'9" her bust would measure 39", her waist would be a virtually non-existent 18", and her hip measurement would come in at 33". She would wear a size 3 shoe.
Barbie views herself as a 'full-figured' woman at a weight of 110 lbs. In reality, at 110 lbs. Barbie is 35 lbs. underweight according to her height which puts her health in a precarious position.
Barbie would register a mere 16.24 BMI which would easily fit the criteria to classify her as anorexic. Menstruation would be nothing more than a faint memory for Barbie. Her body could simply not support this natural hormonal process.
Barbie's proportions are so unrealistic that as a real-life woman she'd have to walk around on all fours like a dog. She wouldn't be able to stand up on her own two feet.

In light of this information it makes it all the more disturbing that famous shoe designer Christian Louboutin decided to launch a 50 year anniversary edition of Barbie with a little nip-tuck. According to the designer, Barbie's lower legs were still a little too thick for his liking. He felt her ankles needed to be much slimmer and her foot more curved to show off the shoe collection he designed for the icon. His decision was met with both outrage and controversy. In his defense, Louboutin explained that it was a fashion decision based on showcasing his work. While he didn't think Barbie's original ankles were fat, he did feel that slimmer ankles would make his shoes look better. When Mattel teams up with the fashion industry you have the perfect recipe for disaster.

When are we going to demand more consciousness in advertising? When will enough be enough? I'm not a mother, but if I was, I certainly would not want my little girl playing with Barbie. She is a bad influence. I see Barbie as a symbol of the sickness that has grasped our culture. A culture that values thinness above all else. A culture that objectifies women and discourages diversity in favor of homogenization. Let's not forget that although Mattel has launched both African American and Latin American versions of the doll Stateside they continue to have distinctly Caucasian features. Barbie has one Asian friend named Kira that is hard to find in the United States because she is not heavily marketed like the other versions of the doll. When toy manufacturers target their advertising campaigns to lure in little girls ages 3-12 with messages so potentially damaging and we sit idly by twiddling our thumbs, we have a problem. Most girls own a Barbie by the age of 3. I encourage all parents to think about the message Barbie is 'whispering' in their daughter's ear. Against the backdrop of this unrealistic image, how is your little girl supposed to feel about her own body? What reflection will she see when she looks in the mirror?

We have the ability to promote an empowering message. A message that embraces diversity and encourages healthy body image. Our power to effect change lies in how we spend our consumer dollars. Every time we go to the store and make a purchase we cast a vote. Suppliers meet the demand. Corporations don't hold the power. That's an illusion. The people hold the power and we have the ability to set the precedence if we stop buying into marketing ploys and begin to put our money where our mouth is. It's time we become conscious consumers and take financial responsibility to ensure that our dollars support businesses in line with our values.

When I think back I believe even as a child I knew that Barbie was a little off. There was something I didn't like about that girl. All my Barbie's suffered the same fate. They eventually made it to the hairdresser only to have their long silky locks hacked away into mohawks. Soon their faces would adorn permanent marker mustaches and other unflattering 'enhancements'. Then the inevitable day would come when Barbie's fate was sealed. Her demise was seen in a heap of body parts... a head here... a bendable leg there... the 'perfect' parts that once assembled the 'perfect' body, now laid in a 'perfect' pile upon the floor. Mom never wanted me to destroy my toys but something felt so damn rewarding about dismantling that image.

Maybe it is time we collectively dethroned Barbie from her iconic status and dismantled the one-note beauty ideal she has come to represent. Think of what a different world it would be if beauty was celebrated in all shapes, sizes and ethnicities. We can have that world if we all do our part to raise awareness and use our voices to educate and empower. Use your voice to pass it on today.

"The Big Fat Lie" February 2010 Focus

2010-02-05T18:28:00.000-08:00

Mind:

Make a commitment to participate in the NEDAwareness Week by doing just one thing. Post about your experiences at, "The Big Fat Lie" blog to share with the community how you have chosen to become involved in this effort and what you learned along the way.

Body:

Up the NEAT factor in your life. Think outside the box of structured workouts and simply move more.

Spirit:

Do you have a hobby? Is there a creative outlet you have longed to explore? This month make contact with your creativity by getting crafty. Take up a new hobby or revive an old passion. Creativity is the soul's expression. Take some time to think about arts and crafts that interest you. There are many avenues to explore. You may want to try your hand at beading, jewelery making, knitting, leather work, painting, or pottery. The possibilities are endless. Creative expression is a wonderful way to get in touch with the language of your spirit.

Feel Your Connection to Nature:

In honor of hearts and flowers month, give a little love back to the planet. Purchase your bouquets at the farmer's market or through your local grower. Not only will you stimulate the economy in your area, you will also be reducing your carbon footprint by not contributing to the impact that packing and shipping has on our natural resources. While out buying flowers for the one you love, be sure to pick up a beautiful bouquet for yourself. Let the blooms add a rosy glow to your home reminding you of just how special you really are.

NEDAwareness Week: February 21-27, 2010

2010-02-05T18:16:00.000-08:00

NEDAwareness Week 2010, February 21-27: Key Messages

The goal of National Eating Disorders Awareness Week is to attract public and media attention to the seriousness of eating disorders and the pressures, attitudes and behaviors that contribute to them.

2010 Theme: It's Time to Talk About It

This year the National Eating Disorders Association is stressing that it's time to talk about eating disorders. We live in a culture saturated with unrealistic body-image messages and almost all of us know somebody struggling with an eating disorder. Because this is true, we urge you to talk about it... and do just one thing during NEDAwareness Week. To:

Raise awareness that eating disorders are serious illnesses, not lifestyle choices.
Provide accurate information to medical, educational and/or business communities.
Direct people to information and resources about eating disorders.

Join NEDA and "The Big Fat Lie", by doing, "Just One Thing"

You don't need to have a lot of time, money or other resources to make a difference. Simply choose one thing you will do to help. Here are a few examples:

Bring a NEDAwareness Volunteer Speaker to your school, work, or social group.
Provide accurate information: Put NEDAwareness Week posters, pamphlets and informational handouts in your schools, community centers, medical offices or workplaces (supplies are available to print up free of charge when you register to become involved in NEDAwareness Week).
Be a Media Watchdog. Write one letter in praise of an ad promoting positive body-image or in protest of an ad promoting negative body-image.
Maximize the power of your social networking sites: Re-tweet a fact about eating disorders, put up a link to the NEDA website and Helpline, encourage your contacts to learn more about eating disorders and join you in doing just one thing.

1. Eating disorders are illnesses, not choices.

Eating disorders are complex conditions that arise from a combination of long-standing behavioral, emotional, psychological, interpersonal, biological and social factors. As our natural body size and shape is largely determined by genetics, fighting your natural size and shape can lead to unhealthy dieting practices, poor body-image and decreased self-esteem. While eating disorders may begin with preoccupations with food and weight, they are about much more than food. Recent research has shown that genetic factors create vulnerabilities (anxiety, obsessions, perfectionism) that place individuals at risk for acting on cultural pressures, messages and triggering behaviors such as dieting or obsessive exercise.

In the United States, as many as 10 million females and 1 million males are fighting a life or death battle with an eating disorder such as anorexia or bulimia. Approximately 15 million more are struggling with binge eating disorder. Because of the secrecy and shame associated with eating disorders, it is very likely that many more go unreported.

2. Prevention, education and access to care are critical.

There has been a rise in incidence of anorexia in young women 15-19 years old in each decade since 1930; over one person's lifetime, at least 50,000 individuals will die as a direct result of eating disorders. In the United States, we are inundated with messages telling us that to be a happy, valued person, we must be thin and fit our culture's impossible beauty standards. Did you know that 80% of all ten year olds are afraid of being fat? The average age of sufferers is dropping rapidly (as young as elementary school), with peak onset among girls ages 11-13. As a culture, it is time for all communities to talk about eating disorders, address their causes, advocate for access to treatment and take preventative action. You can make a difference: do just one thing to initiate awareness, education and discussion about eating disorders in your community. If we all do something, we'll have a huge impact!

3. Help is available, and recovery is possible.

While eating disorders are serious, potentially life-threatening illnesses, there is help available and recovery really is possible. It is important for those affected to remember that they are not alone in their struggle; others have recovered and are now living healthy fulfilling lives. Let the National Eating Disorders Association (NEDA) be a part of your network of support. NEDA has information and resources available via their website and helpline:

NEDA: http://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/

NEDA Helpline: (800) 931-2237

There is also additional peer support available in an active forum format with, "Through Thick and Thin":

http://throughthickandthin.myfreeforum.org/

"Through Thick and Thin" is a community devoted to fighting back against the distortions of media and the diet industry. The support is free and open to all seeking peace with food and their bodies as they navigate a path to freedom from eating disorder.

Please join, "The Big Fat Lie" in a show of support for raising awareness about eating disorders. Follow this link to be led to the NEDA site where you can sign-up to be a part of this important consciousness-raising event by doing just one thing.

http://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/programs-events/nedawareness-week.php

Throughout the month of February 2010, "The Big Fat Lie" will be doing our part to spread the word. We will be presenting information to empower our community with knowledge about eating disorders and share how you can get involved. Stay tuned for future educational posts.

I encourage our project participants to post their experiences with NEDAwareness week here at, "The Big Fat Lie" site. Share how you have chosen to spread this timely message. I also welcome the followers of our project to add comments about their own personal experiences with this effort. If you feel inspired to submit a writing piece about your efforts to raise awareness, please send submissions to:

the-in-body-experience@comcast.net

I will happily post your submissions. I would love to see our community come out full force in a show of support for this event. Take a stand, raise your voice and get involved today. NEDA and "The Big Fat Lie" thank you for your participation.

NEAT

2010-02-05T18:15:00.000-08:00

When you think of fitness, what kinds of images come to mind? If you are like most Americans, you probably have visions of sweat-soaked hard bodies hoisting weights and running like hamsters on the treadmill at the gym. As much as the evidence disputes the validity of the 'no pain, no gain' approach, it continues to be a fitness doctrine that many people buy into. Part of this stems from trying to live up to a body ideal that is far from realistic. Another aspect that factors in is our addiction to instant gratification. We want more, better, faster results and we want them now. Unfortunately, our bodies do not punch clocks. It takes time to build a foundation of fitness. Will doesn't hold much sway over the power of biology. What many sadly discover is that approaching fitness in this all or nothing manner is not only supremely unrewarding, it can also be detrimental to our health.

What is often overlooked is that over-exercise has the ability to trigger the feast or famine response in our bodies in much the same manner that starvation does. People scratch their heads in disbelief when despite the growing number of hours they spend in the gym and the more they control their eating, the further they seem to drift from the state of vitality they seek. Exercise approached with intensity and lacking a strong foundation of support only throws our bodies into crisis.

This is why many individuals find their motivation to exercise comes in stints. You can only keep up that break-neck speed for so long. Your enthusiasm wanes when working so hard produces little end benefit. Eventually, you will run out of steam. If you don't respect the communication of your body you can rest assured that your body will make you listen to its pleas. You'll hit the wall and experience the subsequent burnout, or in some cases, injury that results from over-training.

Over-training syndrome is very real and far more people are affected than are aware of the condition. Athletes understand that intense training needs to be backed up by optimal fuel. Furthermore, this level of activity cannot be sustained indefinitely. Athletes incorporate peak training for brief periods of time. Intense activity is built up to throughout the year through a training cycle that incorporates periodization, by focusing on different foundational components of fitness so the body can effectively respond to the increase in workload without courting injury, or diminishing athletic performance. Talk with any seasoned athlete and you will quickly realize that rest is an equally important component when it comes to optimal fitness. Your average gym rat will put themselves through punishing workouts over extended periods of time without adequate fuel in the form of solid nutrition, or a strong foundation of fitness in place. They also continue to push ahead even though their body is demanding a timeout, falsely assuming that if some exercise is good, then more would certainly be better. Something is very wrong with this picture.

I see one of the main sources of the problem as a lack of knowledge when it comes to fitness. If you think about it, where have most people received their information about exercise? The answer is overwhelmingly, from the diet industry. The diet industry promotes the illusion of the quick fix. The hype is very seductive. In a culture that values thinness at all costs, or in the case of men, a chiseled, fat-free physique, it's easy to get caught up in the hope of the speedy results these spin doctors promise.

This gives rise to an important question. How much is too much? Tune in and ask yourself the following questions:

Do you feel drained, washed-out, tired and unmotivated?
Do you experience chronic aches and pains, or soreness in your legs?
Do you have joint pain?
When you exercise are you finding your performance suffering? Is it becoming increasingly difficult to make it through your workouts? Do you feel as if you are getting weaker, rather than stronger, despite your efforts?
Are you having trouble sleeping, or are you experiencing insomnia?
Do you have frequent headaches?
Do you generally feel under the weather? Are you catching colds more frequently?
Have you noticed a decrease in your threshold for intense exercise? Does your body react to your workouts with an inflammatory response, leaving you in pain for days? Do you feel exhausted? Are you having trouble rebounding after your gym sessions?
Are you experiencing mood changes? Are you irritable?
Are you becoming depressed?
Do physical activities you once enjoyed no longer appeal to you?
Are you finding your appetite diminishing? Are you eating less and less?
Are you working through injury?
Do you feel a compulsive need to exercise? If you take a day off from working out do you feel guilty?

If you answered in the affirmative to several of these questions it is time to bring your relationship with exercise up for review. Individuals struggling with these issues have not only hit over-training syndrome, they have also headed into slippery territory where eating disorder may be a root issue. It is important to answer these questions honestly and address these areas if your responses give rise for concern.

Let's clear up any confusion. Unless you are a professional athlete, or have a sport that is your passion in life, there is no need for such intense training. Remember, even athletes rest and renew. In fact, they often work with a team of professionals who guide their training. They receive plenty of support from physical therapists, coaches, nutritionists and sports medicine doctors who help them manage their training in a way that will not be depleting. How many of you have a team like this in your corner?

Moving your body should be a pleasure. It should be fun. If you are trying to survive your workouts, you will never develop a life-practice of fitness where you thrive. It's important that you begin to explore the kinds of movement you truly enjoy. If fitness is not a satisfying life-enhancing practice you will quickly find your enthusiasm dwindling. It's also important to think outside the box. Not all fitness is structured. Fitness can find its way into your day to day life experiences. I like to call these 'real life' workouts, or what scientists have dubbed, NEAT.

NEAT is an acronym for non-exercise activity thermogenesis. To simplify matters, NEAT is the movement you get in the rest of your life, outside the confines of the gym, or structured workouts. Scientists have discovered a direct link between NEAT and physical well-being. One Mayo Clinic study found a correlation between a high NEAT factor and the body's ability to more effectively assimilate the energy from food. In essence, the key to being fit may be as simple as getting more daily movement into our lives sans gym.

Never in history have we been as inactive as we are today. Modern technology has provided us with many conveniences. These same conveniences have been somewhat detrimental to our health. Instead of getting up to turn the channel on the TV, we now use a remote. In fact, we have remotes for just about everything from stereo systems and garage doors, to something as simple as turning on and off lights. Rather than washing dishes by hand, we toss them in the dishwasher. We hop in our cars to drive to locations that are as close as a 5 minute walk away. We spend our time zoned out in front of the tube or the computer screen rather than being out in the world connecting with others and exploring our interests. We watch movies instead of enjoying days in the park. Kids play video games in favor of riding their bikes through the neighborhood.

If sweating it out in the gym was the route to wellness, we would be a nation of healthy people. Sadly, that's not the case. Our current rates of heart disease and diabetes speak volumes on the reality of our nation's state of health. Too many approach movement from the angle of trying to change the appearance of their body when really, it should be about feeling your best. There is no denying the beneficial effect of movement, but there is absolutely zero support for the idea that a foundational level of fitness can only be achieved in a gym, or by engaging in rigid workouts. We've all tried the conventional approach and it has fallen short. Instead of mindlessly adhering to the current fitness dogma, how about questioning these ideas we have bought into?

This month I encourage you to bring more NEAT into your life. Feel what it is like to simply move more. This may be the key to getting off the bench and back into the game of life. The following are simple ways you can boost your NEAT factor:

Instead of driving, walk or bike to nearby locations.
Lower your carbon footprint by utilizing public transportation from time to time instead of always relying on your vehicle to get you around.
Enjoy a walk on your lunch break at work even if it is for a simple stroll around the block.
If you have a desk job, take mini breaks throughout the day. Get up out of your seat and stretch a little. Walk around a bit.
Instead of e-mailing your co-worker, take the time to walk down to their office and speak with them in person.
Wash your dishes by hand.
Get up to turn the channel on your television.
Rather than disconnecting via TV, video games and the computer, get outdoors and bring back the simple pleasures of walks around the neighborhood, playing in the park with your kids, roller-blading the local paths, gathering together friends at the basketball court for a game of H.O.R.S.E, or enjoying a hike in nature.
Opt for the stairs over elevators and escalators.
Park at the far end of the lot when you go to the store.
Rather than eating out, cook a meal at home.
Turn on your favorite music and dance around the house while you do your cleaning.
Get out in your garden and dig in the dirt.
If you have a cordless phone, walk around a bit while talking.
Swap out a physioball for your usual desk chair.

These are a few ideas to get you started. Take a look at your life and see if there is a way you can build more movement into your day, not by engaging in taxing workouts, but simply by getting on your feet more. With a little creativity and willingness you are sure to discover the many benefits that come from simple movement. Challenge your long-held beliefs about exercise and open yourself to experiencing fitness on a whole new level. Wouldn't it be great to free up some of that time you devote to the gym toward actually living your life? Give yourself the opportunity to find out just how wonderful it can be to move more and stress less.

Beyond Food and Body Obsession... Ways to Nurture Ourselves

2010-01-26T13:34:00.000-08:00

Go for a stroll in nature.
Listen to your favorite music and dance in your living room like no one's watching.
Sing your heart out.
Write a letter to allow all those bottled-up emotions expression.
Read a page-turner.
Visit or call a friend who truly loves and supports you.
Paint or draw out your feelings on a canvas.
Mold your intangible emotions into something you can see and feel by working with clay.
Using push-pins chart a course of all the places you would love to travel on a world map.
Create space to dream.
Light candles in a darkened room and listen to Loreena McKennit, Mazzy Star, Deva Premal, Mozart, or any artist that stirs your soul.
Allow yourself to receive a massage.
Nurture your whole body with a luxurious body butter.
Slip into the comfort of a soothing soak in the tub.
Have a loved one rub your feet.
Get crafty by indulging in your favorite creative hobbies... beading, mandalas, woodworking, scrap-booking.
Make a vision board. Create a collage to map out your future.
Enjoy the silence... surrender your worries to meditation.
Get all decked out just for you and treat yourself to a day out on the town.
Find comfort in a warm cup of tea shared with a good listener.
Light incense and allow its scent to carry away your prayers.
Take your pup for a walk and if you don't have a pooch of your own, offer to walk the neighbor's dog.
Get organized. Sort through your belongings. Collect clothes to donate, clear out old junk, decorate with some warming touches. Clear out the old to welcome in the new.
Go on a road trip and bring along a play file of all your favorite CD's.
Play fashionista. Put together new outfits. Try new make-up and hairstyles.
Invite a friend over and treat each other to a makeover.
Invite your friends over for a slumber party just like the ones you had when you were a teenager.
Write in your diary.
Curl up in bed for a cozy nap.
Steep in a hot tub.
Treat yourself to a facial.
Go on a walk with camera in hand and take photos of the sights you want to remember along the way.
Head out for a bike ride.
Treat yourself to a swim at a local pool.
Sit in the woods or at the ocean and feel the grounding energy.
Make a list of affirmations and read them out loud to yourself.
Leave it all on the mat. Release with yoga.
Get kisses and hugs from loved ones.
Spend time with your pet.
Chant... work with mantra.
Relax in a hot shower. Let the waters wash away your concerns.
Go window shopping. Browse in a bookstore.
Head downtown for a cup of coffee and some people watching.
Visit a museum.
Read your favorite book from childhood.
Have someone you love brush or braid your hair.
Punch your pillow to let the anger out.
Have a good cry. Release the pressure of holding it in.
Pleasure yourself.
Make a cuddle date with your mate... no expectations for it to lead further... just time to be held and cared for.
Grab your crayons and color in a coloring book.
Start a gratitude journal. Keep a running list of everything you are grateful for. Add to your journal at the end of each day, or in those moments you feel down.
Lounge about and do absolutely nothing and do not feel the least bit guilty about it.
Treat yourself to a beautiful bouquet of flowers.
Purchase yourself a very sexy article of clothing that fits your current body like a glove.

Earth Mama Smoothie

2010-01-22T12:01:00.000-08:00

Ingredients:

3/4 c. organic maple cream line yogurt
1/4 c. apple-cinnamon granola
1 c. organic wild blueberries
1/4 c. hazelnut milk
1 Tbsp. natural organic chunky peanut butter

Directions:

You can't get more simple than this! Toss all the ingredients in a blender, whip up and enjoy. Yummy! Your body will thank you.

Your Autobiography

2010-01-21T13:03:00.000-08:00

Imagine yourself at the end of your life. You have reached the ripe old age of 100 and have carried with you a century of personal growth, life experience and wisdom. You have lived a full rich life. There have been many twists and turns in the road. There have been hills and valleys to pass through. Many moments were accented by laughter and joy. Some, filled with tears. One thing is for certain, it hasn't been boring. It has been quite the wild ride, peppered with plenty of adventures that could be the basis of more than one tale. You have done everything you came into this world to do. As the end of your life draws near, you feel pulled to reflect on your time spent here.

Grab a journal or piece of paper and allow at least 20 minutes to write your autobiography. Write about the moments in your life when you felt most proud. What do you want to be remembered for? What is the legacy you are leaving behind? How many hearts have you touched? How many lives have you enriched with your presence? In what ways has your life made a difference in the world? What are your greatest successes? What lessons were hard-earned? What wise counsel do you have to share from a life well-lived?

After Writing:

Take some time to read your autobiography out loud to yourself. Was the picture painted with your words a portrait of a person you admire? Do you feel a sense of pride for your contribution to the world? Did your autobiography include goals you have already achieved, as well as future dreams you are presently nurturing? In your reflection, did you look back on a life that was deeply rewarding, full of experience, with no need for regret? Was it a struggle for you to envision yourself living a happy fulfilling life? If this was a challenge for you, can you move into the emotional space where you can create room for a more meaningful vision of your life?

Discussion and Homework:

It's amazing how much your perspective can shift when you realize that you have this one life. Your body is the vehicle that allows you to have a direct experience of the world around you. Life is a precious gift. Friends and loved ones will come and go. Careers will change. Home is a state of mind and that's a good thing because you may move residence many times throughout your life. There will be successes to celebrate and losses to mourn, but one thing remains consistent... your body is with you for the entire ride. Its appearance may change over the years. Gravity takes over. What was high up north will soon be heading south. A fresh face once smooth will become etched with the lines of experience. Each wrinkle could tell the story of a heartache and the tears shed, or a celebration echoed in laughter. We have no control over this process. It's out of our hands. Instead of fearing the inevitable, we should embrace aging and the experience it brings as the wonder that it is.

Our body size is also not going to define our time here. Who we are, the people we love and the work we do in the world, is far more relevant than the size jeans we wear. When we pass, we will not be remembered for our appearance. We will be remembered for the fullness of our hearts and souls. When you wrote your autobiography did you note, "My greatest accomplishment in life is that I was able to fit into a size 2 up until the moment I passed?" I should hope not! I hope you spun many tales of adventures lived out, dreams claimed and passions explored. More fitting of a life well-lived would be stories about the joys of parenthood, the volunteer work you did for a cause close to your heart, the books you wrote, the mountain you climbed, or the summer you spent backpacking through Europe.

We can learn so much from the elderly. Spend some time at a senior center and talk with the women and men there. You will hear all kinds of interesting tales of times gone by. Once people reach their golden years, they are no longer concerned with trying to look like a fashion model. They have experienced the passage of time and understand that they will never have the body they did as an 18 year old. They are at home in their bodies. They have moved into a space of self-acceptance. There is such a sense of liberation that comes from accepting your body and focusing on the more meaningful aspects of your life. You do not need to wait until you are elderly to embrace this experience. You can move into this space now.

I have found personally, that I have a lot of time to make up. I squandered many years of my life mired in body obsession. I don't want to let any more precious time pass me by without living each moment to its fullest. I encourage you to do the same.

Stop putting those dreams on ice. Start pursuing your interests and passions now. I encourage you to begin to build a vision of the life you want to live. Leave body goals out of your vision. Forget about investing your life energy in something so transitory. Can you imagine how different your life would be if you redirected all the time and attention you put into chasing the dream body toward actually living your dreams? Think of how fulfilling that would be. See if you can drop the food and body focus and instead put your energy into more meaningful pursuits now. Where do you envision yourself this time next year? What about 5 years from now? How about 10 years down the road? Do you even know? If you haven't a clue, perhaps it's about time you created some space to reflect on what is important to you. What rocks your world? Get out there and find out.

You can begin this process easily enough. Jot down your passions and interests in a special journal. Let this be a scared space to explore your dreams. You can continue to add interests you would like to pursue to your journal when you feel inspired. If you aren't sure what you are passionate about, consider listing activities that have always piqued your interest. You won't know if they light your fire until you give yourself the opportunity to experience some of these things. Keep it simple. The road to the fulfillment of your dreams is made up of lots of small steps. Let's say you have always wanted to create your own line of jewelery but don't have any idea about where to get started. You could begin by taking a beading class. Maybe you have long dreamed of having your own magazine. You can take a small step forward by starting up a blog that will become an online template of the publication you want to create. Perhaps you have longed to travel the globe. Open a savings account and each week deposit a single dollar. It may not seem like much but these small steps bring you closer toward the life you want to create for yourself. They are also symbolic acts of moving forward toward a more meaningful existence.

Our society is so hung-up on instant gratification that we miss the pleasure of the journey. We want it here and now but that is a self-sabotaging mindset. This kind of thinking can make us feel defeated. When we approach our lives in this manner we don't allow time to figure out what we truly want. "Why bother", we think. "There's no way I can have what I truly want. It takes too much time, too much money I don't have, too many connections. What's the point?" We limit ourselves. We give up before we even get started. Stop that train in its tracks. Do you! Don't put off the pursuit of your dreams. Go for it!

Your dreams are a direct communication from your soul. They act as a compass to lead you down the path of a life well-lived. Feed your dreams. Nourish them with your attention and care. Put one foot in front of the other and follow your bliss. When you allow yourself to shine, your example helps others claim the radiance within themselves.

"The Big Fat Lie" January 2010 Focus

2010-01-08T16:15:00.000-08:00

Mind:

Run out and grab yourself a copy of, "Health at Every Size", By, Linda Bacon, PhD. It will prove well-worth the read and will shed light on important information we have been kept in the dark about for far too long. This is a book you will want to pass on and share with those you love.

Body:

Begin to explore what it feels like to include more plant foods in the meals you set on the table. Perhaps you can try having a meatless meal one or two days a week. Tune into how your body feels when you bump up the plant foods and rely a little less heavily on animal products. Approach this in a manner that is comfortable for you.
Take some time to think about the physical activities you enjoy. What sounds like fun? What activities have you always wanted to try? Make a list of the options you come up with during this time of reflection. See if you can pick a few activities from your list this month and give it a whirl. Keep what you love and toss out the rest. Discover what kind of movement gives you joy. Inject your fitness with some fun.

Spirit:

Once a week this month give yourself the chance to discover the many ways that the practice of meditation can enhance your life, inner sense of peace and personal well-being.

Feel Your Connection to Nature:

Your mission this month is to head outdoors and claim your own personal sacred space in nature. Find your spot. This could be amongst the grounding solitude of a redwood forest, nestled in the coziness of your own private corner of an apple orchard, sitting atop a mountain that spills the landscape out before you like an endless sea of possibility, or even resting on a bench at your favorite park. Take the time to step outside, explore the natural world and the spaces it offers for calming, centering, reflection and renewal. Choose a place that makes you feel at peace. Be sure to visit this sacred spot often to commune with nature and listen to the murmurings of your soul.